# When a beautiful woman starts at work... what have you seen? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 7, 2018, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624 "2018-06-07T19:41:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/41 "2018-06-07T23:02:23Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Hell, I went to an ice cream shop with my niece for her last day of school. The place was packed with 16-18 year old young women and all I could think was “children”. Which by the way, I am not interested in. I did look at two moms though. I’m getting to the age where the moms are too young. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/42 "2018-06-07T23:04:51Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > What sort of behaviour would you default to, if you weren’t constrained by, y’know, the law? I mean, it certainly seems that unconstrained you’d like to go further? Nothing, I’d default to nothing. The exact same behavior I did ten years ago when an attractive woman started working. I’d mention how pretty she was to a trusted third party coworker and move on. The exact same thing the women in the office did when an attractive man started working there. For the record, I’d take a respectful, professional coworker who occasionally mentioned how attractive someone was to a third coworker over a bunch of arrogant, rude, delusional, sanctimonious coworkers any day of the week. The mods have had to get involved several times in this thread to deal with that behavior. Which makes me wonder, how far would you guys take your behavior if you weren’t being policed? ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/43 "2018-06-07T23:07:37Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > For the record, I’d take a respectful, professional coworker who occasionally mentioned how attractive someone was to a third coworker over a bunch of arrogant, rude, delusional, sanctimonious coworkers any day of the week. For the record I’d rather be punched in the face than be hacked up by a chainsaw. I leave it as an exercise for the reader whether that is an argument that punching people in the face is an okay thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/44 "2018-06-07T23:09:06Z")
> [@senoy](#): > > It probably depends on the office and the individual. The same thing is true when a very physically attractive man works somewhere. Again, it has a lot to do with the personality of the “attractive” person, their overall lifestyle, and their sexual preference and marital status also have a lot to do with it. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/45 "2018-06-07T23:17:37Z")
For the record, back when I used to be attractive (I miss those days) I heard stories from third parties of female coworkers talking about me and my appearance, and talking about setting me up. I never felt like a victim for it. One time I was at a store and mentioned how I was hot (as in temperature hot), the woman who worked there looked at me and said ‘yeah, you are hot’. What I’m talking about isn’t even that ‘bad’ and I didn’t feel victimized in the slightest by the above behaviors when they were done to me. Leering at a woman, interrupting her at work, not treating her as a professional, following her, etc. are all serious issues. Not denying that. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/46 "2018-06-07T23:19:01Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > As for pretending to be above our baser instincts, I’ll just make a big huge fat confession. I _do_ have baser instincts, and they’re a pain in the ass. When I’m sitting in a room with a lady with a nice figure, there’s this damned annoying part of my brain that is trying to drag my eyes and attention to bits of her that aren’t there for my viewing pleasure. This is a real thing that happens to me, and I’m not proud of it - and it’s _certainly_ not helpful in any way, shape, or form. > > The thing about these baser instincts, though, is they don’t compel me to _gossip_ about the ladies I work with, because that’s stupid. My biology doesn’t compel me to put words to voice; that’s not how biology works. So I’m free not to be a leery gossipy creep - the leering is something I have to actively resist, but the gossipy creep part comes for free. Thank you, you’re doing it right. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/47 "2018-06-07T23:27:30Z")
Quit the thinly-veiled sniping at other posters. As I said before: _Everyone_, be cool, don’t be jerks to each other. > [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > For the record, I’d take a respectful, professional coworker who occasionally mentioned how attractive someone was to a third coworker over a bunch of arrogant, rude, delusional, sanctimonious coworkers any day of the week. The mods have had to get involved several times in this thread to deal with that behavior. Which makes me wonder, how far would you guys take your behavior if you weren’t being policed? ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2018, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/48 "2018-06-07T23:34:34Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Have you ever worked at a place where one day a just stunning, attractive woman starts to work there? Yes. > [@](#): > > In your experience what behaviors do you see or how does it change the dynamic of the office? I see people acting like grown adults and professionals and not hormonal teenagers. ---
**Author:** ![Kimera757](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kimera757/32/3765_2.png) [@Kimera757](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimera757)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2018, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/49 "2018-06-08T02:36:59Z")
I don’t see [video for TV show] [this in real life](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvxfI0W_0FY). [Edited: Added spoiler box fro two-click rule- ITD] ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2018, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/50 "2018-06-08T04:26:02Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > What makes you think we follow them around drooling? > > However yes, if an extremely attractive person starts working it isn’t uncommon to mention that fact to coworkers in a private setting. Hmm, to be really private, it’s probably the men’s room. I hope you’re following standard urinal rules. You’ll just have to speak a little louder. BTW, if you wonder why you’re getting a lot of stick in this thread rather than what you might have expected, it’s because a number of posters appear to be trying out a strategy to change board culture by discouraging threads and discussions like this, so as to make the board more friendly to women. I don’t know how many of the men posting have always felt this way and have decided to make their attitude more clear, or who have recently had an epiphany, but it doesn’t matter, it’s all good. I hope it continues, and I hope it sticks. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2018, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/51 "2018-06-08T04:53:30Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > Hmm, to be really private, it’s probably the men’s room. I hope you’re following standard urinal rules. You’ll just have to speak a little louder. > > BTW, if you wonder why you’re getting a lot of stick in this thread rather than what you might have expected, it’s because a number of posters appear to be trying out a strategy to change board culture by discouraging threads and discussions like this, so as to make the board more friendly to women. I don’t know how many of the men posting have always felt this way and have decided to make their attitude more clear, or who have recently had an epiphany, but it doesn’t matter, it’s all good. I hope it continues, and I hope it sticks. I guess to me, the issue is that I’ve seen people of both genders make non-rude comments about a good looking person when talking in private, and never really thought it was evil. As someone who has been the subject of a few of those discussions in the distant past, I didn’t feel victimized. Attractive people know they’re attractive and that people will notice that. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2018, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/52 "2018-06-08T05:05:17Z")
Mods, this thread is a fantastic example of the male-centrism that we’ve been discussing in the Pit for 15 pages, and here is a real live test case for what we can do to make the Dope a better place for female posters. What would you like us to do about a thread like this? ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2018, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/53 "2018-06-08T08:58:37Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Mods, this thread is a fantastic example of the male-centrism that we’ve been discussing in the Pit for 15 pages, and here is a real live test case for what we can do to make the Dope a better place for female posters. What would you like us to do about a thread like this? We’ve already had advice on that: we make the board more attractive for female posters by sniping and being unfriendly: > [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > BTW, if you wonder why you’re getting a lot of stick in this thread rather than what you might have expected, it’s because a number of posters appear to be trying out a strategy to change board culture by discouraging threads and discussions like this ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2018, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/54 "2018-06-08T09:05:29Z")
erm although I do admit the way it was posted was a tad assholic the basic question is/was When someone really attractive gets hired at your office ect does it change how people act ….whats wrong with that Of course this IMHO and I could/may be wrong actually the only time ive seen someone be considered too attractive for an work environment was in a jr/high school setting ,the district worked around that by starting all new teachers in grade school and letting them move up every few years …… ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2018, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/55 "2018-06-08T10:03:43Z")
I’ll answer the OP: Sometimes, people act differently, by changing their behavior to accommodate/attract/flirt/whatever. Attractive is subjective, so the best thing I can imagine is what others who are offended by the OP immediately pictured in their heads for the new person in the office who was not described in specific detail. You either just trolled people brilliantly, or it happened organically. Either way, it’s no shock that people act different (some, at different times and ways) when they find someone else very attractive. Like my friend, who is attracted to very, very tall members of the opposite sex. Was incapable of functioning when someone was hired that just towered over him. Was quite funny. . ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2018, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/56 "2018-06-08T10:15:06Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Mods, this thread is a fantastic example of the male-centrism that we’ve been discussing in the Pit for 15 pages, Yes, a lot of the responses do go that way. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2018, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/57 "2018-06-08T10:17:30Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > I guess to me, the issue is that I’ve seen people of both genders make non-rude comments about a good looking person when talking in private, and never really thought it was evil. If it’s not appropriate to tell it to that person to their face, it’s not appropriate. I realize “appropriate” may have too many letters. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2018, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/58 "2018-06-08T12:15:19Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > I’m getting to the age where the moms are too young. “Hey, if you have any questions, feel free to ask. Oh, and by the way, is your grandmother still alive?” ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2018, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/59 "2018-06-08T12:19:10Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > I guess to me, the issue is that I’ve seen people of both genders make non-rude comments about a good looking person when talking in private, and never really thought it was evil. As someone who has been the subject of a few of those discussions in the distant past, I didn’t feel victimized. Attractive people know they’re attractive and that people will notice that. To be on the receiving end of such comments as a guy is flattering and non threatening. I imagine, and believe due to countless accounts, that it’s different for women and they generally don’t like it because it frequently crosses the line of compliment into creepiness. Anyway, they weren’t hired to be office eye candy and water cooler lechery. I really don’t understand the need to comment, even in a complimentary way among office mates, about how attractive some new hire is. As you say, everyone recognizes a new and attractive face. Why the compulsion to comment on it? Just be considerate and professional, and keep your stick on the ice. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2018, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624/60 "2018-06-08T12:31:48Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > I really don’t understand the need to comment, even in a complimentary way among office mates, about how attractive some new hire is. Do you understand the need to comment about anything non-work-related? > [@](#): > > As you say, everyone recognizes a new and attractive face. Why the compulsion to comment on it? Why the taboo? > [@](#): > > Just be considerate and professional, and keep your stick on the ice. Certainly. Also, avoid false dichotomies. Regards, Shodan [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-beautiful-woman-starts-at-work-what-have-you-seen/815624.md?page=4)