# When a Man Loves a Chicken (Yes, there's a serious debate here) **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [January 5, 2001, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644 "2001-01-05T22:53:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mekhazzio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b38774/32.png) [@Mekhazzio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mekhazzio)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/21 "2001-01-06T02:37:36Z")
Say what? An animal cannot clearly communicate consent? I’m guessing none of you saying this have ever had a pet 🙂 It’s pretty obvious what any animal is thinking after you become familiar with their body language…and animals are MUCH more clear about making it known that they’re getting pissed off than humans are. You simply do not play with a dog, horse, etc, without its consent, or it will HURT you. Likewise, if they’re interested, they’ll make it known by rubbing up against you, teasing, that sort of thing. With male animals, it’ll be particularly obvious that they’re willing participants. You just can’t fake an erection or ejaculation 😉 I don’t see a problem with it. In fact, it’d be nice if more people would screw their pets (or vice-versa) – it isn’t very humane to keep these animals cooped up in an artificial environment and never let them have sex at all throughout their life just because their human keepers think the idea is “icky”. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/22 "2001-01-06T02:51:22Z")
And I thought _American Pie_ was gross. You need to adjust your medication. At once. If you don’t not actually have any medication, get some. If you, for any reason, cannot get any professional advise on which medication is most appropriate, take whatever medication you can find. First, of course, drop that keyboard, step AWAY from the computer… ---
**Author:** ![snuffafluffagus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@snuffafluffagus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snuffafluffagus)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/23 "2001-01-06T02:53:16Z")
I agree that male dogs express their interest in humping. But, do you really think that women are typical participants in acts of beastiality. I have a mental picture of teenage hillbillies taking turns sticking it to their sheep. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/24 "2001-01-06T02:54:43Z")
You know, I’ve tried to keep an open mind but animals, stuffed or otherwise is simply sick and twisted. ---
**Author:** ![Mekhazzio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b38774/32.png) [@Mekhazzio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mekhazzio)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/25 "2001-01-06T03:26:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by snuffafluffagus \* > **But, do you really think that women are typical participants in acts of beastiality.** I couldn’t even begin to say (hard data on such a thing is hard to come by, for obvious reasons) but my first impulse would be to say that there’s just as many women interested in it as men. I remember reading some girls commiserating about how their dogs gave better sex for less maintenance to make happy (good boy, here’s a cookie!) than any human guy ever would 😉 And if you want really different, I know of some guys that are only interested in female humans, but are wild about male animals. Go figure 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Erroneous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71c47a/32.png) [@Erroneous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erroneous)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/26 "2001-01-06T04:09:46Z")
I think I originally found this article from a link someone posted on this message board, but here it is again: [Plushophiles](http://www.salonmag.com/sex/feature/2000/06/19/plushies/) I think describing the is particular group of people as “sick and twisted” is a little harsh. Twisted, yes. Sick…well, they’re not harming anyone, and if someone wants to boink their stuffed animals in the privacy of their own home, I don’t have any problems with that. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/27 "2001-01-06T04:18:39Z")
Too Much Information. Oh my gosh. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Tzel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Tzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tzel)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/28 "2001-01-06T04:25:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andros \* > \*\*Fucking animals != eating them, and sexual gratification != eating to live. You can’t honestly tell me you think it’s necessary to eat animals to live. If so, I and thousands of other people are in for a Bruce Willis-esque surprise one of these days. Killing something is at least as damaging as fucking something. The only difference is that lots of people eat animals, so it’s not in vogue to suggest that it’s anything but a morally upright, saintly thing to do. Fucking animals is not so prevalent and there’s a negative connotation to it. Basically, what you’re saying is that the arguments that apply to bestiality don’t apply to eating animals because, well, because they _just don’t, damnit!_ > [@](#): > > Secondly, unless you can measure an animal’s pleasure in human terms, you cannot derive any scale to determine when it’s ok to screw Sparky. And you cannot do that. Unless you can measure an animal’s capacity for suffering in human terms, you cannot derive any scale to determine when it’s ok to eat Bessy. And you cannot do that. Perhaps the strongest argument in favor of eating animals is that we should only care about our own species. Well, then, why do you think it is wrong to fuck animals? As long as a human is getting pleasure out of it, isn’t that all that matters? > [@](#): > > Further, if the animal is physically harmed in the process of your getting your rocks off, you are engaged in nothing more than torture. Animals are physically harmed in the process of being raised for food. Frequently. Not to mention the harm that comes from _killing them._ But again, you will likely argue that the two aren’t comparable because _they just aren’t!_ Now, I really don’t want to bring the old vegetarianism argument in here, but the fact is, the two are quite comparable. The only difference is that people have an “ICK factor” for bestiality, but since they eat animals, they block out the “ICK factor” involved in that activity. The arguments that apply to one apply equally to the other. “Just because _you_ don’t fuck animals doesn’t mean you can tell other people they can’t. You don’t want to be a _rude_ non-animal-fucker do you?” _ahem_ Sorry for the tangent. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/29 "2001-01-06T04:43:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mekhazzio \* > \*\*It’s pretty obvious what any animal is thinking after you become familiar with their body language…and animals are MUCH more clear about making it known that they’re getting pissed off than humans are. You simply do not play with a dog, horse, etc, without its consent, or it will HURT you. \*\* Substitute “beat” for “play with”. Do you think that it is impossible for a human to beat a dog or horse without being hurt in the process? It happens all the time. Animals cannot always defend themselves against humans. Even when they physically _can_ they often _don’t_, either because they have been trained not to harm humans or because they are afraid to. A lawyer friend of mine once had to prosecute a case involving a man who molested a horse so badly that it died of internal injuries. I think it is safe to assume that the poor animal did not consent to that. Yet the horse apparently did not fight back (or fought back unsuccessfully), as the man escaped uninjured. ---
**Author:** ![Monocracy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monocracy/32/4493_2.png) [@Monocracy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monocracy)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/30 "2001-01-06T05:20:38Z")
> [@](#): > > … a man who molested a horse … Neigh means Nay! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/31 "2001-01-06T05:29:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RoboDude \* > \*\*Seriously, what should our policy be regarding bestiality? We have laws against cruelty to animals, but does having sex with an animal automatically constitute cruelty? Does it make a difference if the animal appears to enjoy the experience?(No, seriously?) > \*\* Oh Please, do you think anyone really cares about these farm animals or their sex life. Oh some of us get all hot and bothered about killing farm animals, but does that affect their quality of life.I don’t think so. But I tell you what does. Young bulls having their scrotums clamped to eliminated blood flow for several minutes! followed by no sex for the rest of their life. Cows never ever enjoying the full benefit of a bull’s appendage and having to settle for a lousy human arm and needle with only one thrust. Stallions of low breeding being used to calm dawn a skittish mare kicking him all over and just when (she’s finally hot) he’s at the point of where all this abuse is going to be worth it, he is withdrawn in favour of the precious highbred stallion. Talk about a lousy life. I would rather have a short good life than a lousy life. So I wouldn’t worry to much about if you want to poke Porky, but leave the chicken alone.Just wear a condom.😉 ---
**Author:** ![quixotic78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3ab097/32.png) [@quixotic78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quixotic78)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/32 "2001-01-06T05:29:27Z")
Well, as Freud said (and probably ripped off from someone else), something’s not taboo unless people want to do it. To wit, bestiality is taboo, but there is no cultural taboo about shoving red hot pokers up the ass. Quix P.S. Insert lame sex joke here ---
**Author:** ![rngadam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/97f17d/32.png) [@rngadam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rngadam)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/33 "2001-01-06T10:20:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aynrandlover \* > \*\*I have had what some may call the good fortune to read a detailed submission to a webpage (so take validity at your own risk) outlining sex with…dolphins. > \*\* Do you mean… this… [http://whiteshadow.pornopartners.com/guides/dolphin.html](http://whiteshadow.pornopartners.com/guides/dolphin.html) ---
**Author:** ![zen101](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c68b51/32.png) [@zen101](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zen101)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/34 "2001-01-06T11:21:44Z")
uh… ewww. Still, having worked my grandparents farm off and on when I was a kid I don’t think the average itsy bitsy weenie is going to even be noticed by most of your larger animals. I don’t think they are enjoying it, but then I don’t think it’s any worse for them than being out in a cold pasture or getting shots or pills blown down their throat. I do think that if some fella was humping a small dog it would hurt the dog and based on it being painful I think it would be animal cruelty. On the gripping hand, I used to have an American Pitbull Terrier that had an anal gland problem and I had to expectorate it (or get the groomer to do it for 50$ a shot) and I know it hurt the poor guy. It wasn’t really a medical problem and I could have not done it and he would have been ok, but it made him smell horrible (if you know what I’m talking about then you know the smell). I can’t imagine it not hurting small animals pretty badly though. As for women doing it with dogs and stuff, well I don’t think you can force a male animal to have sex if it does not want to. No boner, no go. Also if the animal ejaculates thats’ kinda’ the proof that it had a good time right? I don’t know why a woman would do it, but then thats not the OP. I think you would need to define animal cruelty to exclude legal eating and sex acts not physically painful or unusually traumatic to the animals. I’m certain you can gauge trauma, like I said some animals don’t notice much anyhow. Hell, you think them milking machines they use at dairies feel good? I guess you could make a case for people mentally abusing animals in the same way as a non-impaired person using a willing but retarded person for sexual gratification. But then what about Dog Shows and how about dogs in commercials? Should they get to keep the money and decide when they are going to work and who they work for? They are animals, even if it is cruel we do all kinds of shit to them they would probably choose not to do if they were given a choice. As someone noted, they are loyal and loving, so maybe they would choose to let us hump on them too? I dunno’ I’m not a dog or sheep but it just seems kinda silly to get bent out of shape over some goofballs fuckin’ a goat when we let people put them behind electric fences with no fuss. One minut they are animals the next minute they need to be treated with the same respect as people. Maybe I’m off base here, but then I ate my pet cow when I was a kid and never thought anything weird about it. His name was “Friend” btw. He was really cool, let me ride him and stuff (not like the way the OP implies), but he was property too and food. I don’t think people should be humpin’ animals but then again theres a lot worse shit out there that people do all the time and the jails and courts are sure as hell crowded. Do we really need to worry about it? Anyhow, it’s not like sheepophiles are breeding? 😛 Oh, and I especially don’t think women should be having sex with animals when I’m not getting any. I’ll droll on your neck and bark if you like that. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/35 "2001-01-06T12:45:37Z")
And I thought people gambling on Christmas was a sign that the world is going to hell in a cheap handbasket. Why did I open this thread? ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/36 "2001-01-06T15:29:04Z")
I’m with **Thea.** Geez louise. 1. While reading this thread, for some reason I was reminded that there are people who cut holes in sun-warmed watermelons and then copulate with them. Is this evil, if the watermelon doesn’t consent? 2. I have to be deeply suspicious of any thread that cites the Stile Project. Sorry, **Andros.** ---
**Author:** ![JerseyDiamond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8491ac/32.png) [@JerseyDiamond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerseyDiamond)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/37 "2001-01-06T17:59:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jmullaney \* > \*\*If RoboDude ever invites me over for dinner, remind me not to go. :eek: \*\* LOL@JMULLANEY 😃 ---
**Author:** ![JerseyDiamond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8491ac/32.png) [@JerseyDiamond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerseyDiamond)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/38 "2001-01-06T18:08:08Z")
With male animals, it’ll be particularly obvious that they’re willing participants. You just can’t fake an erection or ejaculation 😉 I don’t see a problem with it. In fact, it’d be nice if more people would screw their pets (or vice-versa) – it isn’t very humane to keep these animals cooped up in an artificial environment and never let them have sex at all throughout their life just because their human keepers think the idea is “icky”. \*\* [/QUOTE] EWWWWWW :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/39 "2001-01-06T18:35:06Z")
The laws against bestiality have nothing to do with cruelty to animals and everything to do with society not wanting humans to fuck animals. There is no law against wringing a chicken’s neck just to watch it dance around with it’s head dragging on the ground and that’s pretty cruel, if you ask me. The laws are in place to regulate human behavior, not to save the chickens. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644/40 "2001-01-06T18:39:41Z")
To those who would wish to do more research on the subject without getting their hands (and other parts) dirty might wish to consult the tour de force known as _Fun on the Farm_. It is still (I am told) a fine seller among bestiality porn aficionados. In this film, you can see people having sex with: - Chickens (I am nearly certain that one chicken died in the making of the film) - Horses - Pigs - Dogs - Eels Yes, slimy, disgusting eels. This film has left an indelible imprint on my psyche. I would point out that in a few cases, the consent of the animal is not in question at all–I cite the smiling male German Shepherd who delivers what might be the only recorded animal facial. I need to go wash my hands. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-man-loves-a-chicken-yes-theres-a-serious-debate-here/48644.md?page=3)