# When a question is answered "I don't know," why do people ask it again? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 8, 2008, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325 "2008-08-08T19:53:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/1 "2008-08-08T19:53:24Z")
This has happened to me twice in 24 hours: Someone asks me a question, I answer truthfully “I don’t know.” The person then asks me the question again! For example: Where is the Big Boss. She’s not at her desk. I really don’t know where she is. Well, where is she? Do they thnk I will know the answer the second time? That I magically can pull the answer out of my ass? Why do people do that? ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/2 "2008-08-08T19:58:38Z")
I don’t know either, but my husband does that sort of thing all the time. Where’s the remote? (or whatever he’s looking for) I don’t know. Do you have it in there with you? No, I already told you I don’t know where it is. Did you take it into the other room with you? Where did you put it? I already told you, I DON’T KNOW! ---
**Author:** ![BrandonR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@BrandonR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrandonR)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/3 "2008-08-08T19:59:23Z")
WAG: They may think you’re kidding/lying when you say you don’t know, or they may have mistook it for a “what?” as if you weren’t paying attention… Other than that, I haven’t a clue. ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/4 "2008-08-08T19:59:53Z")
It’s cultural. We have a bad tendency to use “I don’t know” as a space filler for “I need to think about it for a moment”. People ask again assuming you either needed to consider, or were simply trying to get out of answering the first time. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/5 "2008-08-08T20:21:40Z")
Because continued interrogation could break down your resistance to our inquiries. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/6 "2008-08-08T20:27:25Z")
The second time could become a hypothetical question. In the example in the OP, the second question could mean “Where could she be?” It’d be hard to tell without hearing inflection. FTR, I don’t recall having been victim of this. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/7 "2008-08-08T20:40:07Z")
My immediate response is usually “I don’t know,” because it’s literally true _at the moment I’m responding to the question_. If someone then asks me if I might be sitting on it or if I might have put it somewhere earlier, that might jog my memory. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/8 "2008-08-08T20:48:57Z")
I don’t know. Moved from General Questions to In My Humble Opinion. **Gfactor** General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/9 "2008-08-08T21:00:53Z")
My sister does that. She continues to rephrase and ask related questions until I yell at her. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/10 "2008-08-08T21:40:22Z")
And on a related note Have you seen Independce (or any other) movie? No. Oh c’mon, with Will Smith (or whomever). Doesn’t matter who’s in it, I still haven’t seen it. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/11 "2008-08-08T22:08:23Z")
This is one of my pet peeves. When I’m feeling snarky I’ll say: I \*still \*don’t know, but keep asking, lets see how long it takes for you to figure out what I mean by that. ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_Mann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@Rich\_Mann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Mann)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/12 "2008-08-08T23:33:26Z")
I think it’s related to the way some people won’t take ‘yes’ or ‘I know’ for an answer. “Do we have any soy sauce?” “Yes. A whole liter. I checked.” “Because I need to marinate the chicken.” “Okay.” “And the recipe calls for soy sauce.” “I know.” “Two cups.” “Right” “So do we have two cups of soy sauce?” “We’ve got a liter.” “Are you sure?” “Yes.” “Aren’t you going to check to check?” “Aaaaaaauuuuuuuggggghhhhhhh!!!” * * * “You need to lose a little weight.” “I know. I’ve been dieting.” “It’s bad for your health.” “I know. You already told me that.” “It can lead to heart disease.” “Yes, so the Surgeon General told me before you even knew me.” “And other health problems.” “You’ve told me this every day for a month. I know!” “I’m telling you this because I care about your health.” “And telling me, and telling me…” “The sooner you lose weight the better it will be for you.” “I’ve heard every word you’ve said–again–and I agree–again!” “Just a few pounds overweight can shorten your life.” “Just a few more words on the subject could shorten yours.” “What was that, dear?” “Nothing, honey.” ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2008, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/13 "2008-08-08T23:33:33Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] This has happened to me twice in 24 hours: Someone asks me a question, I answer truthfully “I don’t know.” The person then asks me the question again! For example: Where is the Big Boss. She’s not at her desk. I really don’t know where she is. Well, where is she? Do they thnk I will know the answer the second time? That I magically can pull the answer out of my ass? Why do people do that? [/QUOTE] To put it bluntly, when someone says “I don’t know” it often translates as “I can’t be bothered to find out for you” You, personally, might not know where the boss is at this precise moment. But I’ll bet that there is someone who has a list of his appointments for the day. You could direct the questioner to that person. Or perhaps you have a phone on your desk, and could find out the information with a quick call. If I ask someone for information, it is generally because I’m expecting them to actually have the information I require. Or they are in a position where they could find out with very little effort. Thus “I don’t know” is very often simply not an acceptable answer. ---
**Author:** ![Qwakkeddup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/90ced4/32.png) [@Qwakkeddup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwakkeddup)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2008, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/14 "2008-08-09T16:03:50Z")
[QUOTE=Rich Mann] I think it’s related to the way some people won’t take ‘yes’ or ‘I know’ for an answer. “Do we have any soy sauce?” “Yes. A whole liter. I checked.” “Because I need to marinate the chicken.” “Okay.” “And the recipe calls for soy sauce.” “I know.” “Two cups.” “Right” “So do we have two cups of soy sauce?” “We’ve got a liter.” “Are you sure?” “Yes.” “Aren’t you going to check to check?” “Aaaaaaauuuuuuuggggghhhhhhh!!!” Me\> Sitting there with 25 pages of forms to fill out. Wife\> Standing 3 ft from the freezer. Wife\> Do we have any chicken in the freezer. Me\> I don’t know, why don’t you turn around and check? Wife\> Oh, stop being snarky! could you get some chicken out of the freezer. Me\> Gets up, goes to the freezer, pulls out a beef roast, goes back to work filling out forms. Wife\> So we don’t have any chicken in the freezer? Me\> Nope. Wife\> (Finally turning around and opening the freezer) There are 3 chickens in here!!! Me\> Are they laying eggs? Wife\> I don’t know ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2008, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/15 "2008-08-09T21:36:21Z")
[QUOTE=Rich Mann] I think it’s related to the way some people won’t take ‘yes’ or ‘I know’ for an answer. [/QUOTE] Exactly what I came to post, but adding “No”. _Do you want to do X?_ No. _Are you sure?_ Yes. _So you will?_ No, I said I’m sure I don’t want to. _Oh come on, it will be fun._ NO. I don’t like X. _Blah, blah, blah, do X?_ No. _Blah, blah, blah, do X_ I fucking said NO, and I fucking meant it. _Are you really sure you won’t do X?_ \ BOOM. I’d ask if you wanted to live, but if you had to ask me the same damned question eight times, you were obviously suicidal. It’s about a lack of respect for the other person’s feelings and opinions and/or control issues. ---
**Author:** ![Wakinyan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wakinyan/32/352_2.png) [@Wakinyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wakinyan)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2008, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/16 "2008-08-09T21:51:41Z")
\*\* When a question is answered “I don’t know,” why do people ask it again?\*\* [QUOTE=Qwakkeddup] Wife\> Oh, stop being snarky! could you get some chicken out of the freezer. Me\> _Gets up, goes to the freezer_, [/QUOTE] Because it works…? ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2008, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/17 "2008-08-09T21:57:09Z")
This is one of those situations where you can’t win. To the question “where is the boss?”, you have people that assume that means you want to know everything they know about the boss’s movements and will then tell you (set A), and you have people that will know the boss is in a meeting until 2 but not bother to mention it (set B). Set A gets annoyed if you ask follow up questions, because if they knew more, they’d have said so already, and Set B gets annoyed if you get upset later at them for not telling you, because you didn’t ask. What makes this worse is that you have people asking the question who assume that it’s understood that they want all connected information, and other people who wonder why they are getting the boss’s schedule when they asked a simple yes or no question. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2008, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/18 "2008-08-09T22:10:06Z")
[QUOTE=Wakinyan] Because it works…? [/QUOTE] Except in this example it didn’t work, because he did not pull out one of the three chickens but a beef roast. People who refuse to take _anything_ for an answer drive me buggy. Probably happens to me 100 times a day. I’ll be closing down someone’s missing debit card and I will say “I have shut down your missing card and requested a replacement, which you will receive in 5-7 business days. Anything else I can help you with?” and they will then ask, usually in the same order, “so my card is shut down?,” “are you sending me a new one?” and “how long before I get the card?” Or they’ll have forgotten their PIN and I’ll say “I can send you a PIN reminder in the mail. It is the _only_ access I have to your PIN.” and they will almost invariably ask “can’t you just tell it to me?” or sometimes “I think I know what it is, can I tell you and you tell me if it’s right?” What part of “only access” are they not getting? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2008, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/19 "2008-08-09T23:51:51Z")
What gets me is when someone says, ‘Do you know about [noun]?’ I say yes. And then she starts relating the story as if I’d never heard of it. Or when I tell someone something and s/he says, ‘Really?’ NO! I just said that to fool you! OK, sometimes I do say things to fool people. All right, more than sometimes. But it’s usually outrageous enough that I think it’s obvious. ---
**Author:** ![Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Full_Metal_Lotus)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2008, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325/20 "2008-08-10T01:52:46Z")
I have one staff member who I DO have to ask twice. The first time he will just shrug and say “I don’t know…”, especially if knowing the answer will mean work for him. Me: Stu- do you know where the mop is? Stu: I don’t know Me: Is it where we usually keep it? Stu: Yeah… Me: Well, could you go get it and mop up the blood? Stu: What blood? Me: (Stabbing Stu with closest pointy thing) THIS Blood… Stupid laws, making it hard for me to actually manage staff effectively! FML [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-question-is-answered-i-dont-know-why-do-people-ask-it-again/459325.md?page=2)