# When a store clerk says "How are you today"... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 16, 2004, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685 "2004-09-16T13:50:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/1 "2004-09-16T13:50:28Z")
…I say, “I’m good, thanks, how are you?” And I look at the person and smile. My best friend mutters “okay” or “fine” and doesn’t even look up. What do you say? ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/2 "2004-09-16T13:59:33Z")
On a Happy Day: Good thanks, and yourself? Thats a nice blouse/shirt/dress etc…etc… Sad Day: Ok and you? Bad Day: Alive. You? Disgustingly happy day: Great! Thanks for Ask’in!! :):)🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bangiadore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@Bangiadore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bangiadore)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/3 "2004-09-16T14:36:54Z")
Mostly I have variants of **Phlosphr’s** replies. On days when I’m semi-comatose, I might respond “OhmyGodI’msosleepytoday!Ijustcan’twakeup!”, but I almost always try to smile and make eye contact, except if I’m having a downright _crappy_ day. I’m with **twickster** on the smile thing, and I usually get one back. If I don’t, no biggie, 'cause the cashier might be the one having a rough day. I’ve worked in retail once upon a time, and I know it isn’t easy standing in one place for hours dealing with people who often treat you as if you’re a robot. OTOH, when I run across a really beastly clerk like the one in the record store the other day…grrrrr. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/4 "2004-09-16T14:37:32Z")
Hey **Phlosphr** - you stole my chipper happy day reply. Great! Thanks for asking, and how are you today? ---
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/5 "2004-09-16T14:40:43Z")
Fair to middling most days. And how are you? ---
**Author:** ![Debaser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3da27b/32.png) [@Debaser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Debaser)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/6 "2004-09-16T14:46:51Z")
I get myself in the habit (usually) of answering such questions automatically with something like “I’m great.” or “Never been better.” Even if I’m in a foul mood, there’s no sense in broadcasting it to the world if I can’t help it. I don’t ask back, though. I’m not particularly interested in having a conversation with a store clerk. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/7 "2004-09-16T14:56:21Z")
I walk right up, let my face beam with a light that outshines the sun, smile and take the initiative to say “Good Morning! It is a good morning, _isn’t it!_” in an upbeat lilt that would make [Zig Ziglar](http://www.ziglartraining.com/index.php?d=zigziglar) puke his toenails out. Ok, I don’t lay it on that thick, but I am usually the first one to say something like “Morning, how are you doing?” and then playing it by ear based on how the clerk responds. I really like hearing what people outside my life have to say. On a few really crummy days where the clerk asked, I’ve answered with "ehh… I’m doin’ ", said as an honest acknowledgement, not as a dismissive or pitiful gesture. ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/8 "2004-09-16T15:57:56Z")
When asked by a salesdrone, I always ask them how they are doing, and they /always/ say they are doing well, and I tell them “good” in a very positive sincere, way. Then they move on, just as I wanted. At the register, I’m often asked if “I found everything I was looking for today”; I usually tell them I was unable to find that “Big Bag of Cash” that I was looking for in the store. Nobody seems to know where it is. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Clanger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@Small\_Clanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Clanger)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/9 "2004-09-16T16:15:16Z")
> [@](#): > > When a store clerk says “How are you today”… I’d go into (mute) shock. I’m _English_ for heavensake I don’t do personal conversations (no matter how bland) with strangers. If I’ve wandered into another country where they do this sort of thing I might manage an ‘OK thanks’ but I certainly wouldn’t ask back. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/10 "2004-09-16T17:09:03Z")
No matter my mood, I usually hear myself say “Not bad, and yourself?” before I know I’ve said it. ---
**Author:** ![foxymoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d26b3c/32.png) [@foxymoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foxymoron)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/11 "2004-09-16T17:10:13Z")
On a good/average day, I say, with moderate enthusiasm, “Good, thanks! How are you?” On a so-so day, “I’m alright,” but with a half-smile so I don’t sound like Eeyore. Usually I’ll add a “…thanks. How are you?” On a lousy day, the clerk gets an “Oh, y’know…could be better, could be worse. Thanks for asking, though. How are _you_?” ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/12 "2004-09-16T17:18:23Z")
“I’m well, thank you.” Rarely do I ask how they are doing. Never thought of it, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2004, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/13 "2004-09-17T01:33:28Z")
My automatic response is “Life is a cruel joke played on me by the universe.” I immediately follow this up, by saying in my most cheerful voice “So! How’s by you?” ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2004, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/14 "2004-09-17T01:40:32Z")
> [@interface2x](#): > > No matter my mood, I usually hear myself say “Not bad, and yourself?” before I know I’ve said it. As in “how is yourself?” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2004, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/15 "2004-09-17T02:02:03Z")
“Dressed and awake…”; but I may use the life is a cruel joke line next time. ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2004, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/16 "2004-09-17T02:19:06Z")
On a good day, usually something like “Pretty good. How are you?” On a less good day, “Not too bad,” and I might not ask back. A lot of the time I don’t look directly at the person, though. I’m not trying to be impolite, it’s just a habit, I suppose. It makes me kind of nervous to talk with strangers sometimes, even when we’re just exchanging salutations. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2004, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/17 "2004-09-17T02:29:15Z")
Depends on my mood and how cute the clerk is but even in my worst mood, I generally mumble some sort of reply. I’ve been on their side of the desk and know how big a pain in the ass having to talk to customers can be. ---
**Author:** ![Morelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Morelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morelin)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2004, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/18 "2004-09-17T03:10:15Z")
> [@Wonko The Sane](#): > > At the register, I’m often asked if “I found everything I was looking for today”; I usually tell them I was unable to find that “Big Bag of Cash” that I was looking for in the store. Nobody seems to know where it is. As a clerk, I always tell the customer I just gave it away 10 minutes ago. And I try very hard to smile, even though that joke was only funny once. In 1972. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2004, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/19 "2004-09-17T03:16:08Z")
> [@Patty O'Furniture](#): > > As in “how is yourself?” 🙂 Myself thinks it works okay. ---
**Author:** ![Vision\_of\_Love](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Vision\_of\_Love](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vision_of_Love)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685/20 "2004-09-18T07:11:25Z")
I usually just say “I’m good, thanks” and smile. I usually don’t ask them how _they’re_ doing because I’m sure half of the time they aren’t even expecting it. Their reply would likely be “Oh, _me_? Uh… well… _I’m_ good, I guess. Thanks, yeah.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-a-store-clerk-says-how-are-you-today/264685.md?page=2)