# When AA says I should turn my life over to a higher power I don't think they meant you. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 13, 2012, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639 "2012-03-13T12:57:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2012, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/61 "2012-03-22T10:28:20Z")
Join AA, and youll find yourself talking like Kirk Cameron in a month. AA should be abolished. It is a religious recruitment organization and there are plenty of secular alcoholic programs to choose from. [I recommend SOS.](http://www.cfiwest.org/sos/index.htm) Quitting drinking begins and ends with yourself. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to throw a vile god into the mess. One day at a time, man. One day at a time. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2012, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/62 "2012-03-22T11:35:09Z")
> [@Locrian](#): > > Join AA, and youll find yourself talking like Kirk Cameron in a month. > > AA should be abolished. It is a religious recruitment organization and there are plenty of secular alcoholic programs to choose from. [I recommend SOS.](http://www.cfiwest.org/sos/index.htm) > > Quitting drinking begins and ends with yourself. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to throw a vile god into the mess. > > One day at a time, man. One day at a time. I’ve been a member of multiple 12-step groups over the years. Any issues I’ve had with any of them have been strictly my own. In fact, precious few people have ever told me that I wasn’t recovering because I don’t believe in God, and they’re easily avoided because they’re assholes. I just don’t address that in meetings, omit the word “God” from the Serenity Prayer and maintain a respectful silence during other prayers. No one has tapped me on the shoulder and told me to say those prayers or else. It really is what you make it. That being said, SOS and other alternatives may not be available. The SOS website you linked to does show a reasonably local group but gives no contact information or a meeting place, thereby making it utterly useless. So in a lot of places, it’s AA or nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2012, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/63 "2012-03-22T12:01:12Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > The SOS website you linked to does show a reasonably local group but gives no contact information or a meeting place, thereby making it utterly useless. That’s the secret of their success rate. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2012, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/64 "2012-03-22T12:58:03Z")
> [@Locrian](#): > > Join AA, and youll find yourself talking like Kirk Cameron in a month. > > AA should be abolished. It is a religious recruitment organization and there are plenty of secular alcoholic programs to choose from. [I recommend SOS.](http://www.cfiwest.org/sos/index.htm) > > Quitting drinking begins and ends with yourself. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to throw a vile god into the mess. Yes, **dropzone** should change what he’s doing, risking his sobriety, because AA offends you. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2012, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/65 "2012-03-22T18:49:32Z")
Sounds like experiences in any other religion. Sometimes you get a good Pastor and sometimes you get a jerk and you’re not doing it right. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/66 "2012-03-23T17:51:45Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Besides, if you love everyone you meet in the program, you aren’t going to enough meetings. Lines like this make you one of my favorites, man. Cheers to the wisdom of the OP, as well. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2012, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/67 "2012-03-24T05:45:48Z")
Garrison Keillor described one of his characters thusly: He used to be a terrible alcoholic. Now he’s a terrible recovering alcoholic. Twelve-step programs are full of people with serious problems. That’s why they’re there. At the very least, the percentage of assholes will be about the same as anywhere in life, which is pretty damn high. Take the good and leave the rest. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2012, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/68 "2012-03-24T08:46:08Z")
> [@Locrian](#): > > Join AA, and youll find yourself talking like Kirk Cameron in a month. > > AA should be abolished. It is a religious recruitment organization and there are plenty of secular alcoholic programs to choose from. [I recommend SOS.](http://www.cfiwest.org/sos/index.htm) > > Quitting drinking begins and ends with yourself. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to throw a vile god into the mess. > > One day at a time, man. One day at a time. Strange, in the 20 years I’ve been a member I’ve never even heard of this vile god, let alone had it thrown at me, maybe that’s your own thing. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/69 "2012-04-04T05:49:50Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I asked my sponsor one day: “Why is it that I always run into so many assholes?” > > My sponsor simply said: “Because you collect them…” > > The assholes are still out there, but I no longer collect them. > > Besides, if you love everyone you meet in the program, you aren’t going to enough meetings. > > YMMV, etc. At a meeting yesterday the moderator complained that, at a recent open meeting after a spaghetti dinner, the speaker threw F bombs constantly, ignoring the Normals and children in the audience. Sure, they probably weren’t hearing anything new, but he felt we should have more class than that. One person in my discussion group was up in arms that anybody should try to censor us, as that wasn’t done in The Old Days. I bit my lip and didn’t get into a fistfight–he was that mad. A lot of people, not just drunks, are assholes, but AA seems to attract more than its share. We have a weekly Bikers in Recovery meeting and I dropped in tonight, hoping they had turned the place into Valhalla with coffee. Nope. No Vikings on Harleys and I’m pretty sure only a couple of those attending had done hard time. Such a disappointment! However, one woman accosted me like I didn’t belong there, not because I don’t ride but because I had a new face. It took three guys assuring her that I’ve been to meetings before to placate her. Strange. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/70 "2012-04-04T08:21:49Z")
[**Stinkin’ Thinkin’**](http://stinkin-thinkin.com/2011/11/02/welcome-and-last-post/) Enjoy. And learn. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/71 "2012-04-04T10:38:24Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > At a meeting yesterday the moderator complained that, at a recent open meeting after a spaghetti dinner, the speaker threw F bombs constantly, ignoring the Normals and children in the audience. Sure, they probably weren’t hearing anything new, but he felt we should have more class than that. One person in my discussion group was up in arms that anybody should try to censor us, as that wasn’t done in The Old Days. I bit my lip and didn’t get into a fistfight–he was that mad. A lot of people, not just drunks, are assholes, but AA seems to attract more than its share. > > We have a weekly Bikers in Recovery meeting and I dropped in tonight, hoping they had turned the place into Valhalla with coffee. Nope. No Vikings on Harleys and I’m pretty sure only a couple of those attending had done hard time. Such a disappointment! However, one woman accosted me like I didn’t belong there, not because I don’t ride but because I had a new face. It took three guys assuring her that I’ve been to meetings before to placate her. Strange. Oh, yeah. I’ve noticed a definite spectrum of sorts that goes between the Young Turks who would change absolutely everything, sometimes just for the sake of changing it; all the way to the Old [del]Farts[/del] Timers, who would have everything be the same as it was during the 1930s and 40s, right on down to smoking and foul language and no women in meetings. That said, I’d give the woman at the biker meeting a little leeway. She’s probably been to a few meetings where a strange face might be a police officer or informant or someone else who can’t be trusted. Doesn’t happen often, but it happens. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/72 "2012-04-04T12:20:33Z")
> [@gamerunknown](#): > > Spotlight fallacy. Anyone got any cites that AA is better than just independently deciding to stop drinking? We stand on the shoulders of those who have been there before us. I chose AA over (because I have both problems) the people I met at NA scared the hell out of me. Picture seven feet tall, 400 pounds, multi tattooed outlaw bikers and you’ll have the idea. I’ve relapsed a few times but not lately: I hope I’ve had enough. OP, pay no attention to the jerk you’ve described. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/73 "2012-04-04T13:19:58Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > You are a guy, huh? So you can eat in front of girls?Women, especially teenagers, often find it difficult to eat in front of guys. Y’see, it makes them look fatter than they are, or so they think. A single cute guy could probably cause an entire room of girls to starve rather than eat where he could see them. [/cliche] But then that would make sure that _he_ would be able to get all the cake he wants … no need to share with the women 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Aries28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Aries28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aries28)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/74 "2012-04-04T16:43:38Z")
Nothing but good wishes and best of luck to you on your journey. I run a 12 step program and it truly takes all kinds to make the world go around. You learn a lot about people and what makes them tick. Congrats on the progress so far and here’s to many more sober days. ---
**Author:** ![sleestak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@sleestak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleestak)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2012, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/75 "2012-04-04T18:53:25Z")
> [@gamerunknown](#): > > Spotlight fallacy. Anyone got any cites that AA is better than just independently deciding to stop drinking? I don’t have the cites handy but I have posted links to studies on this board multiple times (from the NIH) that show the best success rates are a combination of recovery groups (A.A.) and therapy. The second best success rate is A.A. alone. Slee ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2012, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/76 "2012-04-05T19:14:41Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Maybe he thought he was at Assholes Anonymous. No that’s in Room 12A, across the hall. stupid git! ---
**Author:** ![Blkshp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blkshp/32/7135_2.png) [@Blkshp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blkshp)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2012, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/77 "2012-04-05T20:08:29Z")
> [@sleestak](#): > > I don’t have the cites handy but I have posted links to studies on this board multiple times (from the NIH) that show the best success rates are a combination of recovery groups (A.A.) and therapy. The second best success rate is A.A. alone. > > Slee All I know is that I had tried everything I could think of (and afford) and, for me, AA has worked for 17 years (and four days). Re the OP: I think discussion meetings are fine for beginners but I’d recommend listening when you aren’t talking. Early on I found myself so concerned with what I was going to say that I didn’t listen anybody else. Not that that trait was confined to AA meetings. Oh wait, maybe that was part of the problem! ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/78 "2012-04-06T04:05:46Z")
I’ve learned to say, “I’m just listening and learning. Pass.” ---
**Author:** ![Harvey\_Ferguson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/97f17d/32.png) [@Harvey\_Ferguson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harvey_Ferguson)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2012, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/79 "2012-04-07T17:23:17Z")
Good luck on your journey dropzone. Play this for him: [- YouTube](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPWHfrU3PSQ) ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2012, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639/80 "2012-04-07T23:04:39Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Maybe he thought he was at Assholes Anonymous. This made me laugh for a solid minute. Thank you. I wish all of you in recovery many sober years ahead of you. Especially if y’all keep making me laugh like that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-aa-says-i-should-turn-my-life-over-to-a-higher-power-i-dont-think-they-meant-you/615639.md?page=5)