I can remember an incident that defined my realization youth had passed me by.
I was 31 at the time.
I was driving to work and a Mustang or some muscle car sped in front of me, cut me off and proceeded to cut off a couple of other cars in front of me.
And I thought - god damned kid weaving in and out of traffic. He’s going to kill someone.
And then I thought that’s something my dad would say.
It hit me all at once - I’m not young anymore.
I also got my first grey hair when I was 31.
I’m 47. As the late great Warren Zevon wrote, I’m too old to die young, and too young to die now.
When I was growing up, my grandfather used to complain about how old he was. This was starting about the time he was fifty. My mother started doing it as well. As a result I developed this habit where I always felt much older than I was. I can remember being 21 years old, and thinking I was an old man compared to the younger kids in college with me, who were children as much as three years younger than I was! I started thinking about being ‘old’ by the time I was 30, and was always very conscious of each year that passed by, putting me that much closer to old age.
But you know what? It doesn’t bother me any more. I’m happy to be where I am. I’m in reasonably good health, and mentally I feel like I’m still 20. I play Rock Band and other video games, watch the latest comedies and enjoy them, I play tennis and swim and ride my bike with the family. I have a couple of good friends at work who I lunch with regularly, and I simply forget that I’m 16 years older than one of them and 8 years older than the other. We treat each other like peers, and that’s fine.
I think the internet is changing our perception of age. I wouldn’t have had any idea of the ages of any of you if you hadn’t posted them. I had no idea that Panache45 was 65 years old. You simply can’t tell by the way people talk online most of the time.
When my grandmother was about 75, she confided in me that whenever she looked in a mirror she felt a little shock, because in her own mind she was still a young girl, and seeing the old woman looking back at her always felt strange. If she were still around today, she could have an account here, and no one would know her age within a range of probably 40 years.
It used to be that being old meant you were too weak or sore or disabled to take part in the normal joys of life. Younger people treated you with deference and respect, but they wouldn’t really engage with you. So you slowly disconnect from society and become crotchety and ever-more feeble until you die.
Now, I think you’re ‘old’ when senescence causes you to lose the ability to interact with people in a normal way online. For some people, that never happens. Charles Simmons seemed sharp as a tack on here until he died, and he was in his late 70’s or early 80’s as I recall.
Time to stop thinking about being young or old. Your body’s just the container for you. You’re ‘old’ when you decide to act old or your brain stops working well enough for you to keep up with everyone else. Everyone else may think you’re old, because all they see is the shell. You know better. And if you don’t like the way people see you in the real world, hang out here more. On the internet, you’re as old as you want to be.
Last thing - just because the average lifespan is 82 or 84 doesn’t mean you’re ‘middle aged’ when you hit 41 or 42 The average life expectancy is measured from birth, and includes accidents, infant death, etc. If you’re 45 today, there’s a very good chance you’ll be around until you’re 90 or older. Average life expectancy for someone 45 today is around 85, I believe.
When try as you might, you just don’t get carded that much any more.
If gray hair makes one old, I’ll always be young. Redheads (really red, auburn doesn’t count because it’s too like brown) don’t gray, we eventually go blondish then white.
I, apparently, am still young according to coworkers in their 50s+. When I protest that I’m older than I look and say I’m 33, they pat me on the head and say that’s very young.
You are no longer young when you begin to figure out that people older than you are often smarter as well.
78ish in the U.S. ;).
A very good chance? I hope you’re right for my sake ( I’m ~42.5 ), but I’ll admit to skepticism on that claim, Sam. If you ever dig up anything concrete on that I’d honestly be interested ( and thrilled if my skepticism in unwarranted ).
That said, I sure don’t feel old or even middle-aged mentally ( sadly, as with some others I do feel it physically ). Me and my 47 year old co-worker were just discussing a month or so ago just how non-old we feel. I still read comic books, watch cartoons, play computer games and very occasionally joke around with said co-worker like a barely mature twelve-year old. I have a hard time thinking of myself as a sober, working adult, even though I’ve been holding the same general job for nearly 20 years now.
The thing is, I know that I am, more or less. But it is curious just how much a sense of playfullness adults can carry from childhood into adulthood. My pre-teenage self would have been shocked at that realization.
ETA: By the way at 42, I am in fact in the bottom 10% age cohort in my job classification ( in the youngest 5 or 6 out of 60-odd ). I’m in a gentrifying field and I’ve worked with older co-workers virtually my entire life. I can’t even conceive of working with twenty-somethings - I don’t think I ever have. It was either teens at McDonalds when I was a teen or thirties to sixties at every other job I’ve ever held for more than a day.
The other day I was no longer among the lowest “non-teen” cohort in an online demographic survey. The one that makes me feel ill is seeing how young the kids are at my Alma Mater when I go back to see a football game.
I’m 42 now. I had some aches and pains in my 30’s but looking back it wasn’t bad at all. Turning 40 seems different: I now have a ton of aches and pains and I felt so old and crappy I took up exercising to improve how I feel. Luckily it worked. I feel pretty good but still lots of silly aches and pains and I’m starting to watching what I eat.
Also, at 39 I would’ve happily banged a 20 year old girl. I would’ve torn it up and felt that she wasn’t getting shortchnged by banging an older guy. Now at 42, my dick isn’t as hard as it was a few years ago. And erections seem to be harder to come by (heh). And knocking out 2 or 3 in an hour like I used to doesn’t seem possible anymore.
The men in my family don’t go gray or lose their hair so I’m good there.
My mind is making promises it can’t remember.
For suitably small values of ‘very good’. 
I don’t mean it’s likely - it’s not, because the average life expectancy of people in the U.S. who are age 45 is now about 84.5 for men, and 85.5 for women, I believe. So I was just extrapolating from that, assuming that the mortality curve isn’t all that steep between 85 and 90. I mean, it’s a lot steeper than it was between 70 and 80, but what I meant is that a reasonably significant number of those people will make it to 90.
Here’s the chart I used for the data. But note it’s based on Canadian statistics, which are a little better than the U.S’s: Life Expectancy from Age 45. I looked for data on life expectancy from 85, but everything I could find was way out of date. The values ranged from 2.1 to 5.1 years. So if half make to 85, and half of those make it to 90, then 25% of us will live to be 90. I consider that a good chance. Compared to our parent’s generation, when only a tiny fraction would make it to 90.
Being in my 30’s is weird. I’m sure I’m not thought of as being that young to people in their 20’s or younger, but people in their 40’s or older still sometimes refer to me as a young man or kid.
And add me to the list of people who thinks that being in your 30’s isn’t middle age. To me 40 is middle aged.
My big 3-0’s looming on the horizon, and I’m starting to worry… not about getting older, on the contrary it almost looks like I’m getting younger!:dubious: I always looked older than my years, but recently people have started asking for ID when I buy beer (which is something that’s literally never happened before - not even when I was 16) and giving me student discounts just like that…
I definitely wouldn’t put middle age any younger than 40, though I think there are significant individual variations both mentally and physically.
I would agree. I’m 37 and have a hard time considering 30s or 40s ‘middle aged’ these days. I think of middle aged as a greying balding paunchy guy who sits around on his couch all weekend. It has a negative connotation of someone past their prime.
30s and 40s are when most people are in their adult primes. They are typically well established in their careers and families.
That said, its not really ‘young’ any more. People in their 20s start feeling ‘old’ because they furthur from their college days of youthful lack of real responsibility. They may start to see physical signs that they won’t look 21 forever.
Want to know what makes me feel old? I’m nearly 34 - *nearly! *- and one guy I dated in high school just became a grandfather 
Way back when I was a young pup, during the Vietnam era, they used to say “never trust anybody over 30.” So, you’re not old just yet. Also, if this were Logan’s Run, well…but, hey, at least you don’t have to worry about that.
I’d have thought you’re no longer young when you can’t get into anywhere for half price and you no longer think about what lollies you’re gonna buy.
I’ll finally feel old when I don’t have any more older relatives to scoff when I say I’m old.
Crap, I’m ancient at 24!
According to an old thread of mine, the CDC/medical community thinks of “young” as anything below 65. So live it up, young folk!
I’m 24, but I feel like 40. I miss my youth. I’ve already acquired a mind-boggling amount of illnesses including but not limited to: guyon’s canal syndrome in my left hand, tendonitis in my right, near crippling IBS, constant heartburn, eye floaters, vitiligo, severe allergies, stretch marks while being normal weight, and last but not least a never-ending supply of hangnails.
Today when I was at Walmart I was checking out their canes & walker section. Unfortunately, the ones available didn’t have a designated slot for my phone nor any flashy racing stripes so I decided against purchasing for the time being.