# When are you really married? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 17, 2013, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-are-you-really-married/676524 "2013-12-17T03:15:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![runningdude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@runningdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/runningdude)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-are-you-really-married/676524/21 "2013-12-18T21:11:54Z")
> [@UDS](#): > > It does occur to me that, if Illinois law makes registration an essential requirement for a valid marriage, then in the scenario described in the OP the couple are indeed not married - not just for spousal benefits, etc, but also for inheritance purposes. > > And I struggle to believe that that’s the case. That would be an extremely strict reading of the law, which I don’t believe is applicable. Generally, if a law merely codifies common law practice, then it is usually interpreted within the common law tradition. The law must explicitly contradict the common law interpretation, which the Illinois law does not necessarily do. For instance, the law would have to state that there is a presumption of nullity if the paperwork documenting the exchange of vows is not completed in a timely manner. This does not appear to be the case… ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-are-you-really-married/676524/22 "2013-12-18T21:32:47Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > When you start farting in front of each other. Wow, 16. I had the over-under at 12. ---
**Author:** ![Keeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@Keeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keeve)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-are-you-really-married/676524/23 "2013-12-18T21:34:32Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > The birth date of a child is obviously the date of the fact, not some amorphous date when officials get around to filing the information. Logically, a marriage would be subject to the same reasoning. > > The original certificate of my birth was filed with the state department of health on December 12, and it states that I was born on November 26. My date of birth is not in dispute – it is November 26. Pretty much exactly what I was going to say. Why isn’t this obvious? The paperwork is merely a certification that the event occurred. > [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > We legally registered our marriage at a district office in Bangkok late one April. This made us married in the eyes of both Thai and American law. But her family did not consider us married until the religious ceremony, which my mother-in-law determined in consultation with a fortune teller should be in mid-June. So we couldn’t live together until then despite my wife being in her 30s. This is NOT a contradiction to anything posted by anyone else. What you have here is varying definitions of “marriage”. In April they had met the American definition, and the definition of the Thai legal authorities, but the definition of whichever religion they followed was not met until June. Some friends of mine, Orthodox Jews, were in a similar position. One was American and the other Canadian, and they had a civil ceremony several months before their Jewish wedding, specifically in order to facilitate the immigration process. But they did not consider themselves to be married in the eyes of God until the religious ceremony. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-are-you-really-married/676524/24 "2013-12-18T21:38:50Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Wow, 16. I had the over-under at 12. Addendum: when you begin farting in front of one another during the dating period, you are really married when you quit _noticing_ that you are farting in front of each other. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2013, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-are-you-really-married/676524/25 "2013-12-18T23:42:24Z")
At least for the Catholic ceremony, you are married when you say your I do’s. Everything before and after are pagan. ---
**Author:** ![turtlescanfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@turtlescanfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/turtlescanfly)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2013, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-are-you-really-married/676524/26 "2013-12-19T00:19:37Z")
> [@samronald](#): > > Marriage is definitely not about being the most perfect and selfless person in the world. Marriage just might not be for you, and it’s time to accept that about yourself. > This isn’t something to be ashamed of. It’s more than OK if you don’t feel like getting married ever. > Maybe you leave your dirty socks all over the place and you don’t want to subject another human to that life forever. Maybe you just don’t want to be tied to one person for the rest of your life. Trying to figure out what **samronald** THOUGHT the thread was about:confused: ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2013, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-are-you-really-married/676524/27 "2013-12-19T01:00:32Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > We legally registered our marriage at a district office in Bangkok late one April. This made us married in the eyes of both Thai and American law. But her family did not consider us married until the religious ceremony, which my mother-in-law determined in consultation with a fortune teller should be in mid-June. So we couldn’t live together until then despite my wife being in her 30s. > [@Keeve](#): > > Pretty much exactly what I was going to say. Why isn’t this obvious? The paperwork is merely a certification that the event occurred.This is NOT a contradiction to anything posted by anyone else. What you have here is varying definitions of “marriage”. In April they had met the American definition, and the definition of the Thai legal authorities, but the definition of whichever religion they followed was not met until June. > > Some friends of mine, Orthodox Jews, were in a similar position. One was American and the other Canadian, and they had a civil ceremony several months before their Jewish wedding, specifically in order to facilitate the immigration process. But they did not consider themselves to be married in the eyes of God until the religious ceremony. No, I didn’t think it was a contradiction to anything. Just made me think of my own circumstances. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-are-you-really-married/676524.md?page=1)