# When atheists hear a sneeze **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 21, 2001, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282 "2001-02-21T00:44:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2001, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282/21 "2001-02-21T11:42:52Z")
I don’t say anything. I don’t see the point of calling attention to a bodily function. You sneezed, an irritant was expelled from your respiratory system, now please get on with your life without the need for my approval. ---
**Author:** ![Jalapeno\_On\_A\_Stick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Jalapeno\_On\_A\_Stick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jalapeno_On_A_Stick)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2001, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282/22 "2001-02-21T12:53:25Z")
1. Pay us protection money or we’ll burn your store. 2. Pay us a donation or you’ll burn in hell. Can’t the same thing be said of the insurance industry? p.s. "god bless you or Gesundheit (my understanding it’s German for god bless you) originated because people thought if you sneezed you were about to die. Do i have to find a cite? It’s late and I’m tired (on a stick). ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2001, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282/23 "2001-02-21T13:20:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jalapeno\_On\_A\_Stick \* > \*\*p.s. "god bless you or Gesundheit _(my understanding it’s German for god bless you)_ originated because people thought if you sneezed you were about to die. Do i have to find a cite? It’s late and I’m tired (on a stick). \*\* Nope. “Gesund” meands “healthy”, “-heit” means “-ness” or “state of”. So, your basically wishing “healthyness” to whoever sneezed. Question: why don’t people say similar platitudes when someone coughs. They’re either unhealthy or being attacked by the Devil, right? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2001, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282/24 "2001-02-21T13:50:29Z")
**Shiva** and **AWB** already beat me to _Gesundheit_. When someone sneezes at work one of my co-workers says, “Hail, Sneezer!” I thought it was funny the first time she said it. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2001, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282/25 "2001-02-21T14:46:35Z")
I’m a follower of the **Winkelried** school; I say “Gesundheit”. God knows why we only respond to a sneeze and not a cough; maybe because we know from experience that a cough means you’re already sick but a sneeze is more sudden and unexpected. _shrug_ > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bob Scene \* > \*\*We are under strict orders from Moscow to say, “Bless you, comrade!” \*\* Nyet, tam v Moskve i Pitere my skazhem “Bud’ zdorov”, t.e. russkii ekvivalent nemetskomu “Gesundheit”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2001, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282/26 "2001-02-21T15:07:08Z")
What would I say? It’s my evil plot against all that is Holy that got him sick in the first place. Off to IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2001, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282/27 "2001-02-21T15:35:24Z")
Well you have to say _something_, that much is clear. I used to say nothing until one time when a coworker sneezed & I remained silent. The evil look I got from him made me think that a demon _had_ actually entered his body. He said “where’s my ‘bless you’?” I responded with some witty remark such as “I’m sorry do I looke like the Pope?” Ever since then I say “bless you” any time _any_ kind of noise comes out of his body no matter how insignificant. Sometimes I ever say “bless you!” for sounds I suspect may have come from his general direction. Better safe than sorry! “cough”… “Bless you!” “sniffle”… “Bless you!” “Sigh”… “Bless you!” (Fart)… “Bless you!” (He really appreciates my calling everybody’s attention to his flatulence!) ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2001, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282/28 "2001-02-21T15:47:00Z")
**Attrayant** - I’ll have to use that line if I get the evil eye. I like that. Although, depending on the person, a decent belch or fart\*\* should be countered with “Good one!” and an offer of a doggy biscuit. \*\*[sub]For the record and AFACIR, this is probably the first time I have ever typed the word ‘fart’ into one of my posts.[sub] ---
**Author:** ![jeyen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a4c791/32.png) [@jeyen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeyen)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2001, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282/29 "2001-02-21T18:14:37Z")
I don’t say anything when someone sneezes, just like I don’t say anything for coughs or other awkward bodily noises. Well, not always: If a friend lets out a really huge sneeze or a series of sneezes, I’ll usually jokingly comment on the magnitude or ask if the friend is okay. But that’s friends only, not strangers. If someone has to say something to me when I sneeze, I prefer “gesundheit” or “salud”, German and Spanish, respectively, for “health”. No religious overtones there. Jeyen ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2001, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282/30 "2001-02-21T22:13:11Z")
I usually scream: **"HA! LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE GETTING SICK, YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH! HAHAHA!"** This is followed by an optional kick to the groin. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2001, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282/31 "2001-02-21T22:31:32Z")
I had a friend who’d say, “Was it good for you?” because he had a children’s book about sex that described an orgasm as “a bit like a sneeze.” My sex life sucks now, because I think about sneezing whenever I come. I say “Gesundheit” when someone sneezes. I have a German cigarette tin (I keep my foutain pen cartridges in it) that has a sticker on it that says, “_Rauchen gefaehrdet Ihre Geshundheit._” (Smoking threatens your health.) I find that funny for some reason. The message is from “_Der Bundesgesundheitsminister_” I find that funny, too. If he sneezed, somebody would have to say, “_Gesundheit, Bundesgesundheitsminister!_” So there you go. Cigarettes, sex, and sneezing: One atheist’s painful story. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2001, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282/32 "2001-02-21T22:33:08Z")
Of course, the sticker says “Gesundheit,” not “Geshundheit,” because _Germans_ can _spell_. ---
**Author:** ![They\_Call\_Me\_Sneeze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@They\_Call\_Me\_Sneeze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/They_Call_Me_Sneeze)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2001, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282/33 "2001-02-22T00:38:07Z")
I’m not really an athiest (I’m more of an animist, if anything, but I’m not really sure what I am, but since my name IS sneeze, and since this post is about sneezes, here I am) but I say “blush you,” which is like “bless you” but slurred together. It was only about a month ago that I figured out I was the only one who was _really_ saying “blush you,” and meaning “blush you,” and that everyone else who was saying “blush you” was actually meaning “bless you.” I had never given the matter much thought, but I guess I assumed that “blush” was what you said to someone who sneezed. I mean, it _sounds_ like a sneeze word - much more than “bless” sounds like a sneeze word. Plus, I like to sneeze, so why would someone who was sneezing need extra blessings? In any case, even now that I know what everyone assumes I am saying, I am going to keep saying “blush you” while meaning “blush you.” Sneeze, who is knowledgable about these kinds of things ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2001, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282/34 "2001-02-22T03:50:02Z")
I only rarely lapse into atheism…generally I’m more of a Neopagan with extremely agnostic attitudes (there’s no good way to describe that, is there?) and I generally say nothing. If I know someone is going to be offended if I remain silent, I say “gesundheit” (although I think I’ll add “bud’ zdorov” to my repertoire if I understood that comment correctly). If I’m feeling inclined to reduce the sneezer and any bystanders to a state of complete bewilderment, I’ll cast a small healing spell. Nothing beats having someone mutter under his breath and throw saltwater at you to protect you from the dread aftereffects of a sneeze–or to encourage you to accept his failure to say “bless you” in the future. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2001, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282/35 "2001-02-22T15:50:49Z")
BOOD zduh-ROHV (or BOOD zduh-ROHV-uh if it’s a woman). ---
**Author:** ![Gazoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ce73a5/32.png) [@Gazoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazoo)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2001, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282/36 "2001-02-22T15:57:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Flymaster \* > \*\*If I’m in a witty mood, I’ll say “You’re sooooo good looking!” \*\* Oh, how I miss _Seinfeld_. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2001, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282/37 "2001-02-22T20:12:39Z")
Actually, Gospodin Olentzero, I had occasion to use it this morning, and pronounced it correctly (not that the sneezer in question had the slightest inkling of that). I have a pretty good knack for pronunciation. I might not have thought about the feminine suffix, though–thanks. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2001, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282/38 "2001-02-22T23:20:36Z")
Usually I don’t say anything, but that is just because I am an insensitive fuck. I’m an atheist but still use all the common god phrases found in English idiom. If I did say something after a sneeze it likely would be god bless you. But I don’t really mean anything by it because there is no god and I likely don’t care about you enough to honestly seek its intervention on your behalf. I figure that as an atheist it is less sacriligous for me to invoke that being for all the small things in our life than when a born-again does it. Just like being Jewish means I get to type “God” until my fingers fall off. Besides, what would my life be like if I couldn’t shout out “Yahweh fuck me!” every time something goes wrong. ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2001, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282/39 "2001-02-22T23:48:47Z")
I normally say “bless you” to strangers. To anyone I know, the phrase is “quit it.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-atheists-hear-a-sneeze/55282.md?page=1)