# When Cats Eat a Person... **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 25, 2009, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515 "2009-12-25T03:03:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/1 "2009-12-25T03:03:16Z")
This is inspired by, but different than the “When Dogs Eat a Person…” thread. On a radio show, I once heard a claim from a dog person who offered as proof of dogs’ superior virtues, that a study showed that when single pet owners die at home, they are likely to be devoured by cats quicker than dogs. Supposedly, dogs will hold off until they are starving before feasting on their beloved owner’s corpse. Cats, however, will start chowing down with the first pangs of hunger because their deceased owner is nothing but a pile of meat to them. I call bullshit, but who knows. Does such a study exist? What are your thoughts? ---
**Author:** ![Ponderoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponderoid/32/19221_2.png) [@Ponderoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponderoid)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/2 "2009-12-25T03:33:04Z")
SDSAB Report: “[Will Cats Eat Their Owners](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1922/will-cats-eat-their-owners)” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/3 "2009-12-25T03:58:20Z")
Best screen name/thread title ever. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/4 "2009-12-25T04:56:37Z")
All this proves is that cats are smarter. We _are_ just kibble, after all. ---
**Author:** ![qazwart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/5fc32e/32.png) [@qazwart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/qazwart)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/5 "2009-12-25T14:44:59Z")
My proof is that cats are smarter than dogs is quite simple: An owner has a 90 pound dog and starts to yell at the dog “Bad dog!”, the dog will slink off in the corner. There’s a reason why we never bred 90 pound cats for pets: Bad cat! Scratching the couch up like that. Get off the couch right now! Don’t look at me like that. Stop stalking me. Don’t you dare pounce. Aaaahhh! The cats have a deal with us: If we keeping opening cat food cans, they won’t devour us in our sleep. We keep our side of the bargain. They’ll keep their side of the bargain. Dogs like the concept of the Pet/Owner relationship. Cats are much more comfortable with the Predator/Pray relationship. ---
**Author:** ![qazwart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/5fc32e/32.png) [@qazwart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/qazwart)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/6 "2009-12-25T14:53:31Z")
From the [Straight Dope Staff Report](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1922/will-cats-eat-their-owners): > [@](#): > > I was attending the 1992 American Academy of Forensic Sciences conference in New Orleans and a forensic pathologist related the following story (paraphrased as best as memory will serve): "Sometimes, when an individual living alone dies unexpectedly, several days may pass before anyone takes notice. Some of these individuals may own a dog or a cat, which will go unfed. In my experience, a dog may go for several days before finally resorting to eating the owner’s body. A cat, on the other hand, will only wait a day or two. Just goes to show you which is more loyal. So, the next time you’re falling asleep on the couch with the football game on, take a look at your cat. He’s not watching you because he’s enamored of you; he’s checking to see if your chest is still moving. To be fair. Cats are a lot smaller than dogs and have faster metabolisms. A dog might be more able to go without food for longer periods of time than a cat. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/7 "2009-12-25T15:27:27Z")
And where exactly is the difference between “several days” and “a day or two”? Two is several! So basically they both start chowing down after two! This is why I free-feed…as long as I don’t die when the feeder bowl is almost empty, I figure I’ve got five days for people to find me! ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/8 "2009-12-25T16:56:06Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > And where exactly is the difference between “several days” and “a day or two”? Two is several! No, two is a couple. A few is 3-5. Several is, at a minimum, 6. This is all highly scientific, mind you. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/9 "2009-12-25T22:25:24Z")
Did anybody else try to put the words of the Thread Title to the music of _When A Man Loves A Woman_? ---
**Author:** ![yabob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yabob/32/2821_2.png) [@yabob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yabob)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2009, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/10 "2009-12-25T22:55:34Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Did anybody else try to put the words of the Thread Title to the music of _When A Man Loves A Woman_? Funny you should mention it: When a cat eats a person Don’t want to dine on nothing else He’ll trade all the tuna For the good thing he’s found If they’re spoiled he can’t taste it Can’t be nothing wrong Turn his back on his Friskies Just to scarf 'em down ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/11 "2009-12-26T00:43:06Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Did anybody else try to put the words of the Thread Title to the music of _When A Man Loves A Woman_? So I’m _not_ the only one. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![andy1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@andy1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andy1)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/12 "2009-12-26T19:19:22Z")
I love cats, and have one. She bites a lot, in affection or in a primal desire. They are affectionate kind animals, very spontaneous. But I have heard of them eating babies, left unattended or untrained not to. They do not know the rules we do, no one taught them. They just go on gut instinct, and do not mean by it, and are not thinking as if it is a moral issue. Maybe they do eat dead people who knows? But if you die outside, most things would eat you. We live in an animal world and we are blessed by them. They are good, in every way. In a primal world, when we didn’t have appartments, animals cleaned up. If it would not be them it would be the bugs, or maybe a killer. We bury people. They did not. The world did not start out our way. We should try to save the polar bears. They bless us and influence fate in good ways, like singing whales. But they would eat us if we were dead, and we kill plenty of animals. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/13 "2009-12-26T19:43:44Z")
> [@andy1](#): > > I love cats, and have one. She bites a lot, in affection or in a primal desire. > > They are affectionate kind animals, very spontaneous. > > But I have heard of them eating babies, left unattended or untrained not to. I don’t for an instant believe domestic cats would eat a live human baby. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/14 "2009-12-26T19:50:33Z")
I shudder to think how one trains a cat not to eat the baby. Somehow, shaking a can full of pebbles when he starts munching just won’t do. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/15 "2009-12-26T20:16:56Z")
> [@andy1](#): > > I love cats, and have one. She bites a lot, in affection or in a primal desire. > > They are affectionate kind animals, very spontaneous. > > But I have heard of them eating babies, left unattended or untrained not to. > > They do not know the rules we do, no one taught them. They just go on gut instinct, and do not mean by it, and are not thinking as if it is a moral issue. > > Maybe they do eat dead people who knows? But if you die outside, most things would eat you. > > We live in an animal world and we are blessed by them. They are good, in every way. In a primal world, when we didn’t have appartments, animals cleaned up. > If it would not be them it would be the bugs, or maybe a killer. > > We bury people. They did not. The world did not start out our way. > > We should try to save the polar bears. They bless us and influence fate in good ways, like singing whales. But they would eat us if we were dead, and we kill plenty of animals. Ummm … What? A polar bear won’t wait until you’re dead to eat you, it will eat you the first chance it gets. You defintely shouldn’t keep polar bears as pets. And cats don’t eat babies, they just suck their breath.\* \*[sub]Actually, they don’t do that either.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Snite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Snite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snite)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/16 "2009-12-26T21:07:49Z")
If a cat smells milk on a baby’s lips/breath it will lick the baby’s mouth/nose area and sometimes this results in the baby being smothered. Doesn’t always happen, and it’s not garaunteed the cat will lick. ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/17 "2009-12-26T21:15:39Z")
So, how many cases of being licked to death by a cat occur annually in the United States? I’m guessing it’s round about zero, but I’m open to a cite that shows otherwise. > [@](#): > > My proof is that cats are smarter than dogs is quite simple: > > An owner has a 90 pound dog and starts to yell at the dog “Bad dog!”, the dog will slink off in the corner. There’s a reason why we never bred 90 pound cats for pets: > > Bad cat! Scratching the couch up like that. Get off the couch right now! Don’t look at me like that. Stop stalking me. Don’t you dare pounce. Aaaahhh! And which of these is more likely to be thrown out into the snow as a result? My scientific observation of cats and dogs has led me to the startling conclusion that dogs are generally better at doing dog things and cats are generally better at doing cat things. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me to call one smarter than the other. ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/18 "2009-12-26T22:13:09Z")
> [@Snite](#): > > If a cat smells milk on a baby’s lips/breath it will lick the baby’s mouth/nose area and sometimes this results in the baby being smothered. > > Doesn’t always happen, and it’s not garaunteed the cat will lick. Snopes says[that’s not true.](http://www.snopes.com/critters/wild/catsuck.asp) it won’t necessarily smother them. But there is a case of a [puppy eating a live baby’s toes](http://www.wbaltv.com/news/10514915/detail.html). I don’t believe dogs are some sort of super loyal creature. I do believe any carnivorous pet will eat its (dead) owner if it is hungry enough. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheField](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@LilyoftheField](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheField)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/19 "2009-12-26T22:23:12Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I shudder to think how one trains a cat not to eat the baby. Somehow, shaking a can full of pebbles when he starts munching just won’t do. > > Regards, > Shodan okay, okay…so a few babies have to be sacrificed to properly train the family cat! You can always make another baby, but properly trained cats are hard to come by… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2009, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515/20 "2009-12-26T23:53:33Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Did anybody else try to put the words of the Thread Title to the music of _When A Man Loves A Woman_? Thanks a heap.. I just had to explain to my mother-in-law why I was laughing hysterically ..:eek: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-cats-eat-a-person/522515.md?page=2)