# When Deer Take A Stand **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 17, 2002, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351 "2002-12-17T16:17:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![GKW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@GKW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GKW)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/21 "2002-12-17T20:30:45Z")
**lieu** you tell great poo stories like **Scylla** tells great sex stories. Maybe **Euty** should put out a poo and sex version of Teemings instead of a beastiality one. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/22 "2002-12-17T20:43:23Z")
I tell you what, I’d be sure to read _that_ issue of Teemings. ---
**Author:** ![Kalashnikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/2bfe46/32.png) [@Kalashnikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalashnikov)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/23 "2002-12-17T20:59:23Z")
Now you know how to get a deer next time. Just do it closer to the stand so you won’t miss. Have you considered bottling the stuff and selling it as deer lure? I mean they already sell deer pee at Walmart so… ---
**Author:** ![Kalashnikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/2bfe46/32.png) [@Kalashnikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalashnikov)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/24 "2002-12-17T21:02:46Z")
Never mind the “closer” bit. I didn’t notice the “40 yards” mentioned in the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Jurhael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@Jurhael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurhael)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/25 "2002-12-17T21:25:09Z")
AHAHAHHAH!! Great as always! Poor deer…ehehehehe! ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/26 "2002-12-17T22:32:10Z")
IANAH (I am not a hunter), but I was taught that when you have to shit in the woods, you’re supposed to dig a hole, do your business, and cover it up afterwards. Perhaps the deer were trying to do Step #3 for you? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/27 "2002-12-17T22:39:52Z")
> [@](#): > > Perhaps the deer were trying to do Step #3 for you? Well, he **did** take care of #2 already! 🙂 ::: I don’t believe I’m posting that! ::: 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/28 "2002-12-17T22:43:27Z")
My… word. \ Yes. Quite. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/29 "2002-12-17T23:01:03Z")
You know, I don’t know whether I should be glad I live alone, so no one can hear me laughing like a maniac, or sad I live alone because I can’t say, “Honey, come here! You’ve got to read this!” 😃 😃 😃 CJ ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/30 "2002-12-18T00:03:53Z")
> [@](#): > > So I flick the safety off and draw a bead on the instigator doe and into the morass of flying grass I squeeze off a shot. Well that hardly seems like a fair payback for not liking the smell of your shit. It’s not like she could light a match or spray some Ozium. Talk about overkill. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/31 "2002-12-18T00:07:15Z")
Sounds more like underkill to me! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5ac83/32.png) [@BF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BF)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/32 "2002-12-18T00:18:00Z")
> [@](#): > > You know, I don’t know whether I should be glad I live alone, so no one can hear me laughing like a maniac, or sad I live alone because I can’t say, “Honey, come here! You’ve got to read this!” I feel for ya **cjhoworth** , 'cuz I laughed out loud at work, then came home and did the honey come here thing, and she’s still busting a gut!! Priceless **lieu** , definitely in the **Scylla** echelon of scatological art. And as someone else posted, Author! Author!! ---
**Author:** ![Lucki\_Chaarms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lucki\_Chaarms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucki_Chaarms)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/33 "2002-12-18T01:19:47Z")
> [@](#): > > When deer take a stand Surely I’m not the only one who read this and pictured a small army of deer triumphantly swarming a deer stand, shouting to one another “We’ve taken the stand! We’ve taken the stand!”. I sincerely hope not. LC ---
**Author:** ![ScoobyTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@ScoobyTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ScoobyTX)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/34 "2002-12-18T01:32:56Z")
Good start, good follow-through- I give this one a 9.9. BTW-It’s not the chili that makes the poop attractive to deer- it’s the Shiner Bock. Why else do you think it sells so well in Texas? [taking notes on proper placement of bait “pile” for possible use next week] ---
**Author:** ![Mechanical\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a587f6/32.png) [@Mechanical\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mechanical_Man)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/35 "2002-12-18T02:11:24Z")
Mmm Hmm, O-K, (Also taking notes)… So ditch the chilli and load up on the brewskees? I gotta figgure this formula out. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/36 "2002-12-18T03:00:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lucki Chaarms \* > \*\*Surely I’m not the only one who read this and pictured a small army of deer triumphantly swarming a deer stand, shouting to one another “We’ve taken the stand! We’ve taken the stand!”. I sincerely hope not. > > LC \*\* I thought it was going to be another FOX special. Instead of sensationalism, they were going after the social responsibility angle. After reading it, I’m convinced it should be! Good one, **lieu**. That’ll teach those deer to keep their noses outta your shit. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/37 "2002-12-18T03:05:30Z")
Holy crap. You are fucked up man, definitely. Nothing that weird can actually happen, and very few people can retell it with such humor. I give it a 10. -foxy ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/38 "2002-12-18T04:39:12Z")
I find that I no longer give a shit about the veracity of **lieu** ’s craptacular posts. They’re too damned funny, generally leaving me heaving for breath, hanging onto the chair for balance, and testing the strength of my bladder, wondering if I’m finally gonna piss myself this time. **lieu** , I hereby proclaim you to be the **One True Patron Saint of Potty Humor**. You’re killing us, man. [sub]For the record, I tend to b’lieve you’re not making this stuff up, but it was the only way I could work “shit” into my response, without plagarizing a fellow Doper’s gag.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/39 "2002-12-18T07:03:08Z")
Best **lieu** -post ever. Usually I just wrinkle my nose and grin wryly, but this one elicited belly-laughs. The only way to improve on it would be to have Bill Plymton animate it. (With the narration intact, of course.) Beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351/40 "2002-12-18T15:09:10Z")
This thread was like a gift of the Magi. My holiday season has been made complete. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-deer-take-a-stand/143351.md?page=3)