# When descreetly breaking wind... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 27, 2006, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-descreetly-breaking-wind/350033 "2006-03-27T03:26:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2006, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-descreetly-breaking-wind/350033/1 "2006-03-27T03:26:58Z")
I’ve discovered you cannot blame it on the African Grey sitting on the chair next to you. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2006, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-descreetly-breaking-wind/350033/2 "2006-03-27T03:34:45Z")
But you can blame it on the toy poodle next to you. Atleast I do. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lips\_Obsession](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bbce88/32.png) [@Lips\_Obsession](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lips_Obsession)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2006, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-descreetly-breaking-wind/350033/3 "2006-03-27T16:13:15Z")
You guys need the Fart Pad from American Inventor… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2006, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-descreetly-breaking-wind/350033/4 "2006-03-27T16:17:49Z")
Wow, how cool is it to see “Lips\_Obsession” in a thread about discretely cutting a fart. ---
**Author:** ![capybara](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/capybara/32/202_2.png) [@capybara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capybara)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-descreetly-breaking-wind/350033/5 "2006-03-28T01:52:56Z")
Of course you can, as long as it doesn’t smell. I think our Jardine’s has picked up a fart-like noise from us (either that or it’s supposed to be the coffee grinder). ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-descreetly-breaking-wind/350033/6 "2006-03-28T01:58:23Z")
Rex! Get out from under that there chair before he done takes a shit on you! ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-descreetly-breaking-wind/350033/7 "2006-03-28T02:24:18Z")
> [@capybara](#): > > Of course you can, as long as it doesn’t smell. I think our Jardine’s has picked up a fart-like noise from us (either that or it’s supposed to be the coffee grinder). Oh, we don’t have to worry about blameing him for the AUDIBLE ones. If you catch my drift. He mimics them just fine. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-descreetly-breaking-wind/350033/8 "2006-03-28T02:33:36Z")
“Discreet” I understand. “Fart” I understand. Together…not so much. **Fart proudly, man!** ---
**Author:** ![Lionne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Lionne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lionne)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-descreetly-breaking-wind/350033/9 "2006-03-28T02:46:23Z")
Did you lean to the left when you did it? ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-descreetly-breaking-wind/350033/10 "2006-03-28T03:13:44Z")
Don’t tell anyone it’s an African Grey. Tell everyone it’s a rare Melanesian Flatukeet and it’s costing you an arm and a leg to have its food imported–Papuan legumes and denatured sulphur water.