Props to Toucanna. I know it’s a parody joke, and a good one, but a Perfect Tanqueray martini up with a twist shouldn’t be that hard to get, unless you’re ordering in a club. Never seen someone shake a martini – I’m guessing some club owner figured out in addition to screwing all musicians customers should get more water with their drinks. Hate that shit.
Ha! I was just gonna post that, as a huge fan of a dirty martini, I always order it thusly: Vodka martini, dirty, two olives, shaken. It’s never failed to produce exactly what I am looking for, taste wise, though granted, some bartenders are better than others at getting the right mix of vodka and vermouth.
Blue Sapphire straight up with an olive.
And hold the Vermouth. I want to piss off the people who don’t like Martini snobs.
Hawkeye: I’m pursuing my lifelong quest for the perfect, the absolutely dryest martini to be found in this or any other world. And I *think *I may have hit upon the perfect formula.
Trapper: Five-to-one?
Hawkeye: Not quite. You pour six jiggers of gin, and you drink it while staring at a picture of Lorenzo Schwartz, the inventor of vermouth.
Which is utter bullshit, because vermouth was invented by one Antonio Benedetto Carpano. Link to page with picture, in case you wish to try the recipe. Me, I’d rather drink rioja while looking at Penélope Cruz.
Very, very bad taste.
I find the optimal ratio of Gin to Vermouth about 3:1. Try it. At that ratio, the tang of the vermouth balances perfectly with the gin. Also, for martinis, I prefer a more aromatic gin. Citadelle is my gin of choice.
And that is why I only have them at home.
That’s not a martini. That’s a gin with an olive garnish.
An old fashioned.
I’m just going to point out that this school is the one that the short bus stops at.
Martini = gin + vermouth + olive
Vodka martini = vodka + vermouth
Gibson = martini - olive + cocktail onion
End. Of. Martini. Menu.
Fuck that.
To quote Jason Naismith: “Never give up. Never surrender.”
Dude, you ninja’d me! 
That’s good stuff right there. I also really like Hendrick’s.
“Hearts full of Youth!
Hearts full of Truth!
Six parts gin to one part vermouth!”
–T. Lehrer, “Bright College Days” (c. 1959)
What’s a good way to make a martini from that? An olive seems wrong for some reason.
On my way home from work, I picked up a handle of Tanqueray, a bottle of Dolin De Chambery Dry, and cocktail onions. Ah, Gibsons!
It was either that or head to the local martini bar. Tab and tip + cab fare and tip would likely cost more. Once again, I’m saving by drinking in bulk.
I feel compelled to defend myself here; if I ask for a Martini and get anything other than gin and vermouth, the bartender and I will be having words. Four-letter words.
My Martinis are made with gin and my Manhattans are made with rye.
Accept no substitutions.
No worries, Johnny Bravo; I presumed all along that you were reporting, and not advocating.
That was almost a century past it’s “invention” by all three accounts. (San Francisco, Martinez and Martini Rossi were all the 1860’s and 1:1)
Your recipe appears to be from the 1940’s
My recipe for the world’s driest martini:
Fill a martini glass 3/4 way with gin. Place two drops of dry vermouth in the room air humidifier. Wave martini glass under the air outlet.
Garnish with an olive and serve.
I joke about “let the shadow of the vermouth bottle fall over the ice” but I really don’t care for simply cold gin. I do mix a 10:1 for myself, usually 5:1 for guests.
Yeah, why drink a martini if all you want to do is have chilled gin. Order gin with an olive instead!
I used to do the extra dry martini technique of basically rinsing the glass or ice with vermouth, and then pouring it out (with the vermouth that sticks to the glass and ice being the right amount for an extra dry martini) but then I thought what’s the point? I do my martinis fairly wet now, anywhere from 2:1 to 4:1. But I’m not a big martini guy, overall.
I did a “martini tasting” on a cruise ship last year, and this is what we were served. 5 flavored vodkas.