# When did you lose it? (Or have you?) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 18, 2000, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794 "2000-06-18T20:19:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![lolagranola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ea5d25/32.png) [@lolagranola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lolagranola)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/41 "2000-06-19T14:24:40Z")
I was 15. It was only the second time I’d ever been drunk. I was not just drunk, I was totally blasted!!! Had sex with a guy who I’d just met at the party that night. He was also a virgin, so imagine two drunk virgins trying to do it. It was a fiasco. When I sobored up, I realized that he was an idiot and no one I’d ever really want to talk to if I was sobor, so I spent the rest of the summer trying to avoid him. A few years later, I ran into him with my (then) fiancee. He said “That’s the guy? OMG”. I said, “Yup. I told you he was an ignorant jerk”. How embarrassing… Moral of the story? Perhaps one should make a concious decision to lose their virginity, preferably sobor. ---
**Author:** ![JimmyNipples](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@JimmyNipples](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyNipples)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/42 "2000-06-19T15:03:18Z")
Hmmm…Kind of a grey area here. I was 15, she, 13. I popped when my member rubbed against her thigh. Everything else happened, but sadly, no inny-outty. If you go by what Matt says…“it ain’t sex unless there’s penetration”…then I guess I was 18. My skanky GF…in her bed. It was good enough to do it again, but I didn’t have any more condoms. So…I made one out of Saran Wrap and an elastic band. What an idiot. ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/43 "2000-06-19T15:31:05Z")
So, basically, Sue, you’re saying I should change my job in [Dopeville](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28008) to Virgin Deflower-er? As I once loudly proclaimed in my high school lobby: “Hey, I’m not the one to build a mini-mart on consecrated ground, dude.” As for the OP, I ain’t tellin’. God only knows how that could be used against you at a Doperfest. ---
**Author:** ![Michi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@Michi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michi)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/44 "2000-06-19T15:41:40Z")
I know this topic has come up in the past. I remember telling my sad little story: I was 15. All my friends were very sexually active. One night I was hanging out with a male friend’s older brother (he was 18), and he put the moves on me. I was curious about sex, since all my friends were doing it, so I figured, why not, and went along with things. It was more of an experiment than anything else. I didn’t find it all that thrilling. Unfortunately, the guy’s parents found out about it afterwards and labeled me a slut. Since I lived in a small housing development, all the parents knew one another, and it wasn’t long before I was no longer welcome inside any of my friend’s homes. All my friends were fucking like bunnies and their parents never found out. I did it once and got a bad reputation. ::sigh:: Anyway, I guess it doesn’t matter that my first first time wasn’t very good. My sex life has been non-exsistant for quite some time now, and I think my virginity has come back. Maybe I’ll have better luck next time round…(if there IS a next time…) ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/45 "2000-06-19T16:25:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > So, basically, Sue, you’re saying I should change my job in [Dopeville](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28008) to Virgin Deflower-er? > \*\* Nah, aristocratic beauties don’t do that sort of thing. 😃 I think you’re better suited to fight the big corporate jerks of Barnes & Noble and Starbucks. Anyway, Falcon offered to deflower him. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/46 "2000-06-19T17:42:03Z")
January of 1987. I was 17, she was married and 25. My father was seeing her mother and we started seeing each other shortly after that. Fooled around in my car once or twice, where I technically lost my virginity, but spent the night with her in January where we really got down to business. Not that I knew what the hell I was doing! 🙂 Didn’t last much longer than that; my father drove her mother back to drink and things got messy. (Big surprise.) But overall it was a pretty good experience and I remember it fondling. FONDLY!! :o ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/47 "2000-06-19T18:56:44Z")
I was 19. So was my GF. We’d been dating about 4 months. It was our first night back at school after spring break and we were in her dorm room. She lost her virginity to a one-night stand just a couple of weeks before we started dating so neither of us had a clue – but it didn’t matter. I wish I could remember exactly what time we got down to business. We started the fooling around process sometime during the evening of March 31. I was sometime around midnight when we finally got to “doing it”. I’ve always wanted to know if my first time was “April Fools”. SouthernStyle ---
**Author:** ![Shaky\_Jake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90db22/32.png) [@Shaky\_Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shaky_Jake)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/48 "2000-06-19T18:59:15Z")
We were both 13, back in the mid '70s. Almost got caught by her Grandfather (had to hide behind a couch, buck naked, but that’s a whole 'nother story, as is hiding naked in a closet another time while her and her mom passed pleasantries - _that_ causes at least temporary erectile dysfunction). Word got out - _she_ spilled the beans, at least initially…and I couldn’t get another dated until I went away to high school. Too young? Probably. Regret it? No. Did it have any lasting impact? whose to say, but I don’t think so. Jake ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/49 "2000-06-19T19:05:22Z")
My first time sucked!! I was 17 and he was 21 almost 22. We started dating in September 1992 and had sex sometime in late December 1992. He lasted about 2 minutes and I bled on the bed and it hurt to walk for the next 2 days! He wasn’t a virgin either he was just really bad in bed! We dated for about 5 more months and I slept with him after that but he never got any better. Then I met Jim!! Oh baby! That’s when I found out what I was missing and I dumped Kevin’s ass! I’m much older and wiser now and think that sex is the best thing in the world and I’m glad that I _finally_ have a boyfriend who is just as horny as I am and who’s incredible in bed!! One should **never** settle for mediocre sex!! ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/50 "2000-06-19T19:43:59Z")
Ladies and gentlemen: 1. I am not looking for a F&R. 2. I am not right now actually looking. 3. If I were it wouldn’t be anyone over 20. 4. It would be a female (sorry to esprix, matt\_mcl, and others). 5. It would not be b/c of appearance. 6. I am looking for (in a MOS) much the same as whoever it was who keeps getting dates who dump him. I feel your pain. So those of you who are looking to deflower me are in for bit of a wait, if you ever get a chance. Sorry to dissapoint, but I don’t usually put out on the first date. Not that I’ve ever been on one. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/51 "2000-06-19T19:47:11Z")
I’m with Lee, except I was 12. I had promised my dad that I would remain a virgin until I was married. When I had to tell him I was no longer technically a virgin, I was ashamed for breaking that promise. He assured me that, in his eyes, I would be a virgin until I CHOSE to have sex. I’m not yet married and I’m still, in my father’s eyes, a virgin. ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/52 "2000-06-19T19:48:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Ladies and gentlemen: > > 1. I am not looking for a F&R. > > 2. I am not right now actually looking. > > 3. If I were it wouldn’t be anyone over 20. > > 4. It would be a female (sorry to esprix, matt\_mcl, and others). > > 5. It would not be b/c of appearance. > > 6. I am looking for (in a MOS) much the same as whoever it was who keeps getting dates who dump him. I feel your pain. > > So those of you who are looking to deflower me are in for bit of a wait, if you ever get a chance. Sorry to dissapoint, but I don’t usually put out on the first date. > > Not that I’ve ever been on one. > \*\* I was just messing with you on the deflowering (I’m assuming Falcon was too). It was my way of telling you I think you’re a cutie. Anyway, I **really am** happily married, so don’t get too full of yourself. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TN\_hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TN\_hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TN_hippie)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/53 "2000-06-19T19:52:59Z")
But went through a 7-year dry spell. In my _prime_. Damn. Help me make up for lost time, gals. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/54 "2000-06-19T20:00:38Z")
Sue Duynhm (sp?) said: “I was just messing with you on the deflowering (I’m assuming Falcon was too). It was my way of telling you I think you’re a cutie.” Damnit, why can’t everyone be straightforward like that? Would make choosing so much easier! “Anyway, I really am happily married, so don’t get too full of yourself.” Oh sure, you say that now, but what about when your husband isn’t looking over your shoulder? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2000, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/55 "2000-06-19T20:13:51Z")
I’m with Sue…I was teasing, hon. My way of saying I think you’re a cutie, and wishing you luck on finding someone. Sorry if it was taken the wrong way. ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2000, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/56 "2000-06-20T01:13:47Z")
I was 14, really drunk, with my best friend’s cousin. She was 18, a robo-hottie, and also drunk. Afterwards she denied it ever happened, and I kicked myself for forgetting my Polaroid camera. Oddly, it never occured to me to be offended by her behavior. ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2000, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/57 "2000-06-20T02:10:32Z")
November 14, 1986, around 11 P.M. Seventeen, in my college dorm room, with [name deleted], a friend from high school’s friend from college. While I wasn’t particularly nervous, the entire episode was not ideal. My friend set us up explicitly because she was easy. very strange, as he remained a virgin until he was 22. I lied to her and told her I wasn’t a virgin, as she made it pretty clear she wouldn’t sleep with a virgin (thought a virgin would get too attached.) When you get right down to it, she wasn’t a very nice person, nor very attractive. We dated for about two months, although we were in different towns, so we didn’t see each other all that often. The breakup was pretty nasty. Haven’t seen her since. BTW, it was FANTASTIC! 😃 V. ---
**Author:** ![PRISM02](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@PRISM02](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PRISM02)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2000, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/58 "2000-06-20T02:30:30Z")
First time: 21 (Late bloomer). Person involved: A wonderful, caring, gentle woman who was outgoing and not exactly shy. Once she found out I was a virgin, she set about correcting that. _She was magnificent!_ She did not laugh, giggle nor snicker at my awkwardness. She had the most beautiful and soft body that I had ever seen, with long delicately scented hair, and subtle perfume applied. We did it on the carpet in her living room to soft candlelight, mood music and it was absolutely wonderful. ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2000, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/59 "2000-06-20T03:44:42Z")
First, I feel the need to pass out some hugs: {{{{Lee}}}} {{{{Silver\_Fire}}}} {{{{GaWd}}}} As for me: I was 19, so was he. The only thing I want to share is that it was the best night of my life, and it’s been the benchmark ever since. Thank you, Beloved. ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2000, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794/60 "2000-06-20T04:30:24Z")
purplebear, you are kind.{{{{purplebear}}}} BTW, it is lee, all lower case on purpose. I am still miffed at Slythe’s response. I will assume e meant well, but saying mine doesn’t count just makes me feel invalidated an unwelcome. Some of us have no choice, it doesn’t change what happened. Question: What counts as losing virginity for lesbians? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-you-lose-it-or-have-you/22794.md?page=4)