# When did "You're not the boss of me!" begin? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 14, 2013, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916 "2013-03-14T14:12:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2013, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/1 "2013-03-14T14:12:09Z")
Thread title says it all. I do not remember this phrase from my childhood at all. Seems to me I started hearing it in the 80’s when my kids were little. Heard it in a comedy routine the other day and started wondering (again) if this phrase had a specific origin, from a movie or a book, or if it’s always been around but just wasn’t common in NE Ohio during the 60’s and 70’s. Did you say it as a kid when someone tried to tell you what to do? ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2013, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/2 "2013-03-14T14:21:10Z")
[Ngram](http://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=not+the+boss+of+me&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=)shows the phrase “not the boss of me” was used from time to time starting around 1900, but took off around 1980. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2013, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/3 "2013-03-14T15:26:25Z")
I seem to recall hearing it from my sibs - especially when I was babysitting them - and we were all born in the mid-50s to mid-60s. That phrase was right up there with “I’m telling!!!” Yeah, we were a loving brood… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2013, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/4 "2013-03-14T15:29:59Z")
I didn’t hear it until Malcolm In The Middle’s theme tune and if I heard it now it here it would only be said ironically. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2013, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/5 "2013-03-14T15:32:42Z")
I’m guessing from about 5 minutes after Cain and/or Abel could talk. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2013, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/6 "2013-03-14T15:39:47Z")
I recall it from my childhood in the '70s. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2013, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/7 "2013-03-14T15:59:31Z")
I remember my younger brother saying it to me (quite angrily) in the early to mid-80’s. Came up with it spontaneously, as far as I know. Maybe there’s some inherent linguistic thing that leads younger kids to construct that in lieu of “you’re not my boss.” ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2013, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/8 "2013-03-14T16:04:58Z")
Get with the times: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/YEwlW5sHQ4Q/maxresdefault.jpg "YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEwlW5sHQ4Q) Safe for work (although loud). ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2013, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/9 "2013-03-15T05:12:49Z")
When I used to complain to my mother that my brother wouldn’t “obey me” when I was babysitting, (early 1980’s–I was about 4 1/2 years older) she told me “You are NOT the boss of him. You are responsible, but not his boss.” ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/10 "2013-03-16T06:32:09Z")
> [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](#): > > When I used to complain to my mother that my brother wouldn’t “obey me” when I was babysitting, (early 1980’s–I was about 4 1/2 years older) she told me “You are NOT the boss of him. You are responsible, but not his boss.” Responsibility with no authority. Yeah, like that works. When it’s your turn, tell your daughter: “You’re not very good at giving orders.” ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/11 "2013-03-16T06:58:58Z")
First time I recall hearing it was from [Monica Lewinsky.](http://partners.nytimes.com/library/politics/030499barbara-monica.html) > [@](#): > > BW: Did you ever say to yourself, “I’m doing something wrong. This is bad for the president. This is bad for the country.” Did you ever think about that? > > ML: Now with everything that’s happened, … I feel bad that I didn’t. But, I didn’t at that time. I was enamored with him. And I was excited. And I was enjoying it. > > ML: I think that one of the things that people have not been able to look at in this past year is that they looked at this and said ‘this is about a man and a woman, and not the president and an intern.’ He was very tender with me. He was very affectionate. > > BW: Did your mother ever try to break off this relationship? > > ML: Yes! Yes she did. But anyone who knows me knows that I’m stubborn, and from the time I was 2 years old, one of my first phrases was, with my hands on my hips, “You’re not the boss of me!” And I’ve been that way ever since. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/12 "2013-03-16T07:03:13Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > I’m guessing from about 5 minutes after Cain and/or Abel could talk. 😛 Cain, Abel was younger… ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/13 "2013-03-17T16:43:26Z")
> [@Melbourne](#): > > Responsibility with no authority. Yeah, like that works. > > When it’s your turn, tell your daughter: “You’re not very good at giving orders.” I avoided that problem by having one child. 😛 A very conscientious boy, who somehow has become gregarious and outgoing with adults, but also very respectful, mainly because he seldom gets “because I said so” answers. 75% (at least) of the time he does what he is told, or if he doesn’t understand, he asks why and gets an explanation. He also knows my “Just do what I say and I will explain later” voice. He has, in the last few months, started lashing out a bit when his step dad (co parented with me since my son was 3) asks him to do something when I have already told him to do something else. “I can’t bring the recycling downstairs, Mom told me to pick up my Lego!”, but that is about the extent of things. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/14 "2013-03-17T17:00:32Z")
I don’t think I heard it until the late 80’s. It’s such a whiny thing to say. Saying that is proof they probably need another person to make decisions for them. It appears normal grammar isn’t the boss of them either. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/15 "2013-03-17T17:05:30Z")
Well, it IS something usually proclaimed by seven year old girls who have just been told to do something they don’t want to do, or to stop doing something they do want to do… ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/16 "2013-03-17T17:14:35Z")
I can’t remember whether I heard “You’re not the boss of me” in those exact words before Malcolm in the Middle, but the sentiment behind the phrase is certainly a familiar one. It’s the same in spirit as “You can’t tell me what to do!” or “[What are you, the fucking hall monitors?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=2744558&postcount=26)” or “[Who told you that you were … the big Jello Sheriff of the house?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=JPn3c_BMg_8#t=95s)” ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/17 "2013-03-17T20:13:12Z")
Definitely remember it from when I was a kid - early '60s, southern Michigan. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/18 "2013-03-17T23:21:16Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > I recall it from my childhood in the '70s. Likewise. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/19 "2013-03-19T16:52:43Z")
I never heard it (another NE Ohio kid here) or used it in my late '70’s/early '80’s childhood. My sister, who is a decade younger, said it a lot, and I assumed she developed it spontaneously. I first heard someone other than her say it (or something close to it) on an episode of Friends which Google tells me was in the second season. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2013, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916/20 "2013-03-19T17:24:17Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > I recall it from my childhood in the '70s. Same here. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-did-youre-not-the-boss-of-me-begin/652916.md?page=2)