# When dining with one other person, where do you sit?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [June 21, 2015, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080 "2015-06-21T15:58:28Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/1 "2015-06-21T15:58:28Z")
When my husband and I go out to eat, we pretty much always sit across the table from each other. I think it’s been that way since we started dating. In fact, with anyone, I prefer to be across the table - it’s much easier to converse.
But when we were at breakfast this morning, I noticed another couple in a nearby table seated side-by-side, and I knew I had to do a poll.
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### Author:  [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/2 "2015-06-21T16:11:21Z")
Side-by-side seems like something you’d only see on television. Of course it’s across from one another.
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### Author:  [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/3 "2015-06-21T16:18:32Z")
Usually across from each other. But there are a few places where the cushioned bench seating on one side of the table is so much nicer than the chairs on the other that the wife and I will do side by side then. But that doesn’t happen often.
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### Author:  [@Chauve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chauve)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/4 "2015-06-21T16:19:29Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#):
>
> When my husband and I go out to eat, we pretty much always sit across the table from each other. I think it’s been that way since we started dating. In fact, with anyone, I prefer to be across the table - it’s much easier to converse.
>
> But when we were at breakfast this morning, I noticed another couple in a nearby table seated side-by-side, and I knew I had to do a poll.
I once saw this asked a long time ago as an etiquette question. The answer was that “across” makes it easier to converse and is more respectful of personal distance, whereas “side-by-side” is more intimate: Rubbing elbows and that sort of thing.
So friends and acquaintances should sit across, and lovers should sit side-by-side. Old married couples could fall in either category depending on whether they’re more interested in communicating or snuggling.
Again, that’s the “etiquette” version. But, really, I doubt there’s an etiquette book on this subject. Still, the advice stuck with me.
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### Author:  [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/5 "2015-06-21T16:23:39Z")
Once when I was a little kid (seven y.o. or so), I was dejected because I didn’t get to sit next to my Grandma at a family meal. She pointed out that with us sitting opposite one another we’d be able to see each other better.
Although the event was at a table with eight or more people, that was how I was introduced to the idea that “across” was the way to go.
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/6 "2015-06-21T17:54:51Z")
The early results are interesting. I don’t see a whole lot of people who sit beside each other in restaurants, but it happens often enough that I’d have expected at least one or two of “those kinds” to weigh in.
I have to say that when we have supper at home, we’re side by side, but we sit on the couch and eat off the coffee table while watching the news. On the rare occasions that we use the dining room table, we’re at 90° from each other with me closest to the kitchen door.
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### Author:  [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/7 "2015-06-21T17:56:11Z")
Can’t answer, because it totally depends on the seating configuration of where we’re placed. We do it both ways, either way, depending.
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### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/8 "2015-06-21T18:04:23Z")
Depends. Who is the other? What are the seats and table like? Are we sharing a giant meal or eating separate dishes? What is my mood (and that of other)?
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### Author:  [@resentfulviper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/resentfulviper)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/9 "2015-06-21T18:12:24Z")
My husband and I always sit side by side. It would feel odd for us to sit across from each other since that’s what we always do. Guess it just started because we lived far apart when we met and wanted to be as closes as we could during the times we were together.
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### Author:  [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/10 "2015-06-21T18:13:50Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#):
>
> […] I have to say that when we have supper at home, we’re side by side, but we sit on the couch and eat off the coffee table while watching the news. On the rare occasions that we use the dining room table, we’re at 90° from each other **with me closest to the kitchen door**.
[Emphasis added]
Well, of course you are. Do you expect him to get up and refill his plate? :eek:
**Sorry!** _Sorry!_ Meant to post that in the **Men Going Their Own Way** thread.
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### Author:  [@Sinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinder)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/11 "2015-06-21T18:18:34Z")
I prefer to sit “Across from each other”. But a few years ago, I was dating a girl that only liked to sit side by side. It didn’t matter where we were or who we were with.
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/12 "2015-06-21T18:36:00Z")
> [@jimbuff314](#):
>
> [Emphasis added]
>
> Well, of course you are. Do you expect him to get up and refill his plate? :eek:
😃
He can reach across the table to get the bowl or pot of whatever he wants to refill his plate. No need for me to run. The reason I sit nearest the door is based on the rare occasions when we have others over to dinner. It’s easier and faster for me to retrieve items from the kitchen since I’m the one who arranged the cabinets. Plus it’s tacky to send a guest to fetch his/her own hot sauce or mustard.
Anyway, it’s my spot. That’s why I sit there. It’s also where I sit when I set up my sewing machine or my stenciling supplies.
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### Author:  [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/13 "2015-06-21T18:42:59Z")
I always sit where I can see the door. I don’t want to be taken by surprise.
It doesn’t matter whether I’m with one person or multiple people–and especially when I’m alone.
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### Author:  [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/14 "2015-06-21T18:54:17Z")
When it’s just me, or just me and one other person, I usually try to sit at the bar, which puts us side by side. I would never do that a table, though.
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### Author:  [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/15 "2015-06-21T19:16:31Z")
A couple weeks ago I sat next to my friend when we went out to dinner. It was a 4-top table and the restaurant was super loud and I’ve got awful hearing so instead of trying to read her lips, I sat in the seat 90 degrees to her seat. She probably thought it was weird (we’re both hetero ladies) but whatever. It’s what worked best!
I always sit across, otherwise.
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### Author:  [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/16 "2015-06-21T19:20:37Z")
Booth, always across. However, at a 4-top table qirh only two people, I really prefer 90°. This is with my spouse, or really any close friend. Four-tops can be pretty wide, and if the music is loud I feel like the other person is way over there and I have to shout. But 90° doesn’t feel turtle dovey like side by side.
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### Author:  [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/17 "2015-06-21T19:50:54Z")
Also, 90° at a four-top if it keeps me out of traffic better.
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### Author:  [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/18 "2015-06-21T20:16:47Z")
I voted for across but really I always sit with my back to the wall whenever possible and the other person can do as they please.
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### Author:  [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/19 "2015-06-21T21:22:49Z")
I would say with a romantic interest or with a friend, I sit across the table from the person UNLESS the get-together involves looking at paperwork or photos or something like that. I don’t have any objection at all to sitting next to my companion; it just isn’t the default.
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### Author:  [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)
#### Post date: [June 21, 2015, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-dining-with-one-other-person-where-do-you-sit/723080/20 "2015-06-21T22:02:46Z")
> [@Johanna](#):
>
> Can’t answer, because it totally depends on the seating configuration of where we’re placed. We do it both ways, either way, depending.
Right
> [@MandaJo](#):
>
> Booth, always across. However, at a 4-top table qirh only two people, I really prefer 90°. This is with my spouse, or really any close friend. Four-tops can be pretty wide, and if the music is loud I feel like the other person is way over there and I have to shout. But 90° doesn’t feel turtle dovey like side by side.
Bingo
So, how should I vote? Footsie, I guess.
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