My mother told me I could ‘read’ at 3 or 4; by ‘read’, I could sit on the floor with a book in my lap, reciting the story, and turning the pages. Astonished her friends and visitors. I did this by memorizing the stories my mother told me and memorizing when she turned the page. If she opened the book to a random page I had no idea what it said.
I think I learned to read sometime in kindergarten. I don’t remember any time that I was in school that I wasn’t sneaking books in with me and secretly reading instead of listening to the teacher.
That’s the thing - I know it’s not typical, which is why I asked. But I don’t have any sibs, and the other kids I hung out with were generally similar in skill level, so I don’t have anything to compare it to. I didn’t compare myself to the kids who didn’t know how to read yet, because my whole life was books and I wouldn’t have paid any attention to someone whose priorities were so different from mine. (I also felt a lot more comfortable socializing with adults in general than kids; my exposure to other children was pretty much only at school.) I tend to be slightly shocked when I meet a kid who’s 4 or 5 and can’t sit down and read even a beginning chapter book, then I have to remind myself that I am not typical. Given that we are actively attempting to reproduce, I was hoping to get a feel for what to expect in case my child is not an early reader. I don’t really know what “normal” is.
And I absolutely agree with the second paragraph quoted above. In many ways I’ve always wished that I hadn’t been declared to be So Smart!!! when I was young - I’ve shot myself in the foot an awful lot because of it, trying to throw off the burden of others’ high expectations.
For example (she continued, because she is feeling kinda defensive), it didn’t occur to me until someone mentioned it upthread that there’s not one point where one Knows How To Read. I always kinda pictured it as a binary thing - you either Know How To Read or you don’t, with perhaps some sort of warmup period where you’re learning the alphabet, analogous to the headache Zeus had before Athena leapt forth fully grown from his brow. :smack:
Upon reflection, that’s silly - of course it’s a gradual process with many half-steps along the way. Why would it be any different from anything else? :o
I’ve never felt like I was particularly smarter than anyone else, but I’ve always had adults tell me I was. Because of this disparity, I’m very aware that what is to me, “normal” in fact isn’t - but I don’t know what “normal” to other people is, only that I’m not/wasn’t it. I’m desperately afraid that, should Oni no Offspring actually manifest, and should s/he be fairly “normal” (100 IQ, learns letters at 3 or 4, enjoys the company of other children, straight C’s, or whatever else) I will be horribly disappointed. I’m trying to learn what “normal” is, to prepare myself for that and therefore be able to recognize if s/he is markedly different in one direction or the other.
It makes a lot of sense. I worried about this a lot when my daughter was a baby, and I didn’t really feel able to talk to anyone about it. I worry about it now that my son is a baby, perhaps more because he is a little behind where she was at the same age in communication skills (although maybe just slightly ahead in motor skills - typical boy vs. girl differences, from what I understand, but it doesn’t stop me from fretting).
This won’t really stop you from worrying, but I tell you that you will be fine. My daughter is indeed very bright, but was not a particularly early reader - certainly not as early as I was. Perhaps I could have pushed her to read earlier, but I didn’t want to risk making her think it was work. So I just go with the flow. The only thing you really need to do with a little kid is love them and clean up their poop. The rest will work itself out. But you may not be able to make yourself believe that until you’ve done it. But if you will take the advice of a random internet stranger who you have no reason to trust: just make the leap of faith and do it. In the immortal words of Dr. Spock, you already know more than you think you do.
Oni no Maggie, for “average” values, the immense majority of children rearing books have those. There’s been several threads recommending current ones. The biggest criticism of many of those books is that they provide only the average value, whereas every step is actually a margin which can go from several months to several years wide, depending on the step.
I was reading (as in, I didn’t understand everything because I didn’t know every word, didn’t know what the letters were called, but spoke the printed words without hesitation and understood as far as my vocabulary went) by age 3; my somewhat dyslexic brother will have problems with the bdpq group his whole life but was reading fine except for that by the end of 1st grade; the other one could read fine (and he even knew what were the letters called) by K-2 but refused to read anything not required by the school until age 15 - when he picked up The Lord of the Rings trilogy, immediately followed by Neverending Story. Light reading, you know. The 4yo Kidlet knows the letters since age 3, can’t read worth shit (he still hesitates with his own name), in spite of having had the alphabet force-fed since he was barely big enough to sit up on his own.
When I signed up for Catalan classes, another one of the courses being taught in the same Civic Center was Adult Literacy. Several of the people in that class were foreigners who could already read in their own native language, but over half were Spaniards over age 40 who had never learned to read, or to read properly, as several were dyslexic and had never known it. The oldest person in that group was a 67yo woman who’d left the village “to go serve” (work as a live-in cleaner and maid) in the Big City at age 10; her children, knowing that never having learned to read was one of her big frustrations, had convinced her to sign up when she retired. When I met her, she was at the stage of wanting to read everything now and her children were helping her navigate the maze of “only because it’s in a book doesn’t mean it’s true.” She read faster than average, too. I’m reasonably sure your kids will learn to read before they retire - but also, a year or two either way don’t make a difference at all.
This morning at least 70% of my sperm were reading the Wall Street Journal as they headed for splashdown. The other 30% were writing poems about the experience.
I’m sorry I put you on the defensive. These threads are almost impossible to participate in without sounding like an ass. I definitely felt smarter than everyone else as a kid, and it bit me in the ass later on when everyone caught up to me.
As for the offspring question… some of my best friends were straight C students (and worse); I figure if their grades don’t matter to me, neither would my kids’. People can be smart in so many different ways. And it’s not so much the intelligence you have, but how you put it to work. My goal is to teach my kids to put their gifts, whatever they are, to work. If they don’t test well but their greatest passion is tearing apart car engines, fine. I will look forward to years of free car maintenance.
ETA: MsWhatsit, I just got that. Well played, Madame.
That’s actually how I thought about reading even as I was learning to read. I was very impatient to get to the book-reading stage and considered anything less than that hardly worth mentioning. About a year after I did learn to read I became an “advanced reader” and continued to be one – I loved reading so much that I wound up becoming a librarian. Growing up people often asked me when I had learned to read, assuming it must have been earlier than usual (it wasn’t). For years I told people that I didn’t know how to read until halfway through the first grade. My mother eventually heard this and corrected me, saying I’d been able to read in kindergarten the same as most of my classmates.
I can remember doing things in kindergarten like reading aloud from a primer or carefully writing “SNOWFLAKE” on a winter art project, but I didn’t consider this kind of thing to be *real *reading. Reading to me was when you could silently read books with small print all by yourself. Not necessarily grown-up books, but at least children’s chapter books. I reached that stage right around the time I turned 7 (this was earlier than usual), and was happy that I’d finally “learned to read”. I’d have been even happier if I could have jumped straight from my alphabet blocks to chapter books, but there were a few intermediate steps I had to climb up first.
Growing up people often asked me when I had learned to read, assuming it must have been earlier than usual (it wasn’t). For years I told people that I didn’t know how to read until halfway through the first grade. My mother eventually heard this and corrected me, saying I’d been able to read in kindergarten the same as most of my classmates.