Kinky Friedman “You’re only as old as the woman you feel.”
Mmm… Number Six, I completely agree with you, except that the attitude which you name ‘middle-aged’, I name ‘mature’. Kinda disconnects it from referring to any actual age in years. As was mentioned in the How Young is Too Young for Marriage? thread, people of the same age vary widely in maturity level.
I’m moving towards that mature attitude too, but there’s more work to be done (less than a few years ago though 
). But they’ll have to pry my striving to become a better person from my cold dead fingers after I’m gone… I am not going to let myself fossilise while I’m still breathing.
BTW, Number Six, I just went back to that thread to get the URL… congratulations on your upcoming marriage!
Well, I declared myself middle-aged when I turned 40 (lo, those many years ago). I don’t equate middle-aged to a mental attitude; I know lots of mentally spry old folks. (Of course, my mom used to declare that I had the dour personality of a 40-year-old when I was 12. Having been 40, I realize that she seriously understated my mental age.)
Middle age is simply the middle part of life.
Or, as one of my co-workers put it. You know you’re not “young” any more when you drop your kid off at college for the first time and you find yourself checking out the hot babes–no, not the little college girls, but their mothers.
I’m 40, but I think I realized I was middle-aged in 1997, when I looked at the Billboard Top Twenty, and realized (to my horror) that I didn’t recognize a single artist or a single song on the list! Thank God for the occasional comeback by somebody like Carlos Santana, so I don’t feel TOTALLY out of it! But there’s no way around it: when it comes to current popular culture, I am as completely out to lunch. I know as little about hip hop as my poor Mom knew about heavy metal.
Anyway, now that I’m unquestionably middle-aged, the big question is, how long does middle age last?
Well, I’m reminded of a quote from Michigan’s old coach, Bo Schembechler, when he was 58. “I read the papers, and I always see myself decribed as middle-aged. But really, how many people live to be 116? Face it, I’m just OLD!”
I have been grappling with this “middle aged” thing for a while. Even when I was a kid, I always assumed (honestly) that “middle age” started at about 50 or above. It’s flexible, because it’s not just about age, it’s about how you look, and act. This is always how I saw it, even when I was in my 20s. And I don’t see any reason to change my viewpoint now.
I figure some of the “warning signs” of middle age afe when you start to wear all polyester. When the women cut their hair really short and have those tight “old lady” curls. (Of course, I never intend to get to “middle age”, because I never intend to cut my long hair!) I don’t know, “middle age” has become so difficult to quantify.
I guess I should get over the stigma I’ve put in my head about “middle age”. I always seem to think of it as boring and dull, but that’s not right. When I see some of these fabulous 40+ actors and singers (Madonna, Sharon Stone, etc.) I figure, what the hell does “middle age” mean anymore anyway, if you automatically become it at age 40? (Or 35, or 50, or whatever.) We all are so different. Some of us are cool forever, some of us get in a rut by age 25.
Like others have mentioned, it’s about a state of mind, an attitude. I guess “middle age” should really be a neutral word, but of course most of us dread approaching it. But if it does indeed mean what some of us think it means (settled, a little boring) then how many of us really reach it? My mom would be considered “elderly” in years, but in mind and spirit, she’s not “middle aged”. (And she has long hair, and NEVER wears polyester! Wears a lot of denim.)
I dunno. I want to end up like my mom. An old grey haired broad with long hair and jeans, taking pottery classes, having fun, and being weird. (Hey, wait. I’m already doing that. Except I don’t have grey hair. Hey…)
Can we see a picture?!
(This ties in with tomndebb’s observation about admiring the mothers)
I just retired at 62. My wife decided 3 years ago that she wanted to become a flight attendant. We are in process of selling our house so I can move to Memphis and be with her more. In a few years we plan to move to Mexico.
Maybe we are past middle-age, but I’m not old or elderly. How about upper middle-age?
Well jeez, that means I was middle aged when I was 18 years old.
As one lame comedian said, you are middle aged when you groan every time you get up from a chair. He’s right.
I’m 38 and I can defently not
see myself as middleage at 40,
no way.
I’m still young,
say something else
and you have a fight.
It depends on yourself,
what kind of person you are.
Keep the inner child alive
and you will be young a looooong time.
I cannot understand why being middle-aged is considered a bad thing, or for that matter, why being young is automatically considered to be better than being middle- aged or old. I will be turning forty in a few years, and I will consider myself middle-aged at that time. To me, it is a term that merely describes a person’s general numerical age. If you insist on thinking of it as a state of mind (which I don’t), as I said before, it isn’t necessarily bad, just different. And if it is a state of mind, I’ve been middle-aged since my early 20’s.
I would guess that those people who don’t want to be described as being middle-aged are the same ones who get upset when a birthday ending in 0 comes around, especially starting at 40 Why is 40 so much worse than 39? It’s just a number for christ’s sake! Likewise, middle-aged is just a convenient way of describing one’s numberical age. It says nothing about you as a person, any more than any other physical descriptor.
If you know that a person is red-headed, you know nothing about what kind of person they are other than the color of their hair. If you know that someone is dark complected, you know nothing about them other than the hue of their skin. If you know that someone is middle-aged, you know nothing about them other than a very general description of their numerical age.
I will soon be 40, and when I am, I’ll be middle-aged. My life will undergo no major changes as a result of this mundane occurrance. Middle-aged is not pejorative, it is descriptive.
I officially declared myself to be middle-aged when I hit 37, as it marked the 1/3 mark in my intended lifespan.
You’re middle-aged when you start having trouble with body parts (knees, back, hairline, etc.) that had been working fine.
You’re middle-aged when you not only look forward to taking a nap on a rainy Sunday afternoon, but also on a beautiful Saturday.
I’m 28 and consider myself middle-aged. My main financial concern is paying back taxes instead of having money for a cool new game or to go partying. Most of my doctors visits are scheduled now, as opposed to ER visits when I wake up with a concussion and I’m not sure who I am. Friends are sources of entertainment, not excitement. So many changes, most in the last year or two.
I had to revisit this thread since I’ve been out of state doing non-middle aged things like white water kayaking!
It is really a construct, and nothing more, as several have said…I know 40-50 year olds who are more physically fit and adventurous than many teenagers. I know twenty-somethings who are physically stodgy and conservative. I know older folks who are mentally adventurous, curious, and vital, despite failing body parts. I know younger folks who have stopped questioning & discovering & are settled into routines, yet are physically and societally able to explore all kinds of frontiers, but don’t choose to
I just spent several days with my SO (48), and my littlest brother (31) & his Norwegian girlfriend & two of their friends (in their twenties.) It was nice that we all had similar energy and vitality!
Anniz you are so right! kniz right on…and glee…if I ever get my scanner hooked up to the new computer, I’ll let you know.