# When does helping become enabling/dependent?

**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-does-helping-become-enabling-dependent/834692
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [May 29, 2019, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-does-helping-become-enabling-dependent/834692 "2019-05-29T03:20:27Z")
**Posts on this page:** 1
**Showing post:** 13

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### Author: ![Machinaforce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@Machinaforce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machinaforce)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2019, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-does-helping-become-enabling-dependent/834692/13 "2019-05-29T21:53:01Z")

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> [@Velocity](#):
>
> **Machinaforce** , just politely “take leave” from your family’s plans a few times to wean them off of you. The next time they make a plan in which you are the linchpin without which it would all fall apart, just say that you already have other plans or are not interested and maybe they should try some other plan.

Well I grew up in a Hispanic family so there is a certain domineering element at play.

I know that they place a great importance on family, but sometimes it makes me feel like my life has to revolve around theirs. It’s nice a times to have such a value, but others times it is like a disregard for your wants.

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