# When does it stop? :( **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 26, 2014, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-does-it-stop/702561 "2014-10-26T12:27:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Beelzebubba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Beelzebubba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beelzebubba)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2014, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-does-it-stop/702561/21 "2014-11-15T06:44:21Z")
> [@Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](#): > > THank you all for your responses - **EmilyG, Sir T-Cups, burpo the wonder mutt, Shakes, jimbuff314, GrumpyBunny, Rachellelogram, The Holdsworth Effec, ZipperJJ, Chefguy, Helena330** - it means more to me than I can put into words. I really needed to just get it out and it helps to know someone was willing to “listen” and respond. Thanks guys 🙂 > > It’s been 3 weeks today and still very difficult and I still cry, but slowly getting to a new normal here. My cat Anna had no problem at all adjusting after the first couple days, but my cat Rummy is having as hard a time as I am, I think. He hasn’t eaten much, sleeps alot, cries and howls at night. He was just at the vet for his yearly shots and checkup a month previous and all was fine. Doesn’t seem to be hurting anywhere or be sick, isn’t running a fever. I think he’s just depressed and grieving, yet I’m getting worried enough to call the vet to make sure. **sigh** Hate bothering the vet with a healthy cat - yet this isn’t healthy, and a visit would at least ease my mind if nothing else. Anyway, things are slowly getting better. Thanks again everyone! 🙂 I’m glad to hear that things are starting to get a little better. So many people don’t understand that for many of us, losing a furry companion is losing a family member! Going through the grieving process and feeling a sense of loss is completely normal. Nothing sucks more than having someone minimize or even criticize your pain and sadness because they lack the ability to bond with and love an animal. I don’t hesitate to let people like that know that I care more about most animals than I care about them! I lost my baby girl Anna, the most beautiful 13-year-old black/white (tuxedo) domestic longhair kitty on 12/03/12. I had her for 10.5 years and wasn’t expecting or prepared in any way to lose her. 11 weeks before she died, my vet did a full range of blood and urine tests and everything was perfect. She always had high quality food and treats and went to the vet at least every six months for teeth cleaning, nail trimming and a general health check. Suddenly one Saturday night, I noticed that she looked bloated and she was having a hard time climbing onto the bed. I took her to the Vet E/R at 1am on a Sunday morning and learned that she had a fatal disease called FIP (Feline Infectious Peritonitis). Her abdomen was filled with fluid which is why she appeared bloated and it was also making it more difficult for her breathe. The emergency vet told me she could live several more weeks but it would become increasingly more difficult to breathe. I knew the only loving thing I could do was to end her suffering before it became any worse. I brought her back home to say goodbye and planned to be at my regular vet the following morning at 8am when they opened. In approximately 30 hours, I went from everything being fine to holding my baby girl as my vet ended her life! I was in shock for the first week or so. The first few months were very difficult and even now, two years later, I still haven’t been able to get another cat. My Golden Retriever (Bailey) was Anna’s best friend (she slept on top of him at night) and he hasn’t ever been quite the same since she died either. Sorry to ramble on and I certainly don’t mean to hijack your thread. But we all grieve in different ways and feeling the pain and the loss is part of learning to live without the one we’ve lost. I’m glad that you have your other furry kids to help you through the process. =) ---
**Author:** ![Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/77aa72/32.png) [@Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fluffy_PickleSniffer)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2014, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-does-it-stop/702561/22 "2014-11-15T16:26:06Z")
Rummy’s had two doses of antibiotic now and is doing a bit better this morning. He’s eating again - not alot but better than before. Happier and coming for snuggles too so that’s good. I have the heat up today because it’s -2ºF and a bit chilly, and every time the heat kicks on Rummy rushes over to the heat vent and lies down on it for a nap. He even left my lap the last cycle! Since when is a lap not warm enough? 😃 Here he is on the heat vent this morning: [Rummy](https://www.flickr.com/photos/fluffy_jo/15796565732/) Anna is happier too now that Rummy isn’t ignoring her anymore. The two of them were curled up in bed last night next to me licking each other nonstop. I like hearing everyone’s stories - it helps the healing - feel free to keep sharing, guys, I really do appreciate it and like to hear about everyone’s pets. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/77aa72/32.png) [@Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fluffy_PickleSniffer)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2014, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-does-it-stop/702561/23 "2014-11-15T16:39:30Z")
> [@Beelzebubba](#): > > I lost my baby girl Anna, the most beautiful 13-year-old black/white (tuxedo) domestic longhair kitty on 12/03/12. I had her for 10.5 years and wasn’t expecting or prepared in any way to lose her. 11 weeks before she died, my vet did a full range of blood and urine tests and everything was perfect. She always had high quality food and treats and went to the vet at least every six months for teeth cleaning, nail trimming and a general health check. > > Suddenly one Saturday night, I noticed that she looked bloated and she was having a hard time climbing onto the bed. I took her to the Vet E/R at 1am on a Sunday morning and learned that she had a fatal disease called FIP (Feline Infectious Peritonitis). Her abdomen was filled with fluid which is why she appeared bloated and it was also making it more difficult for her breathe. The emergency vet told me she could live several more weeks but it would become increasingly more difficult to breathe. I knew the only loving thing I could do was to end her suffering before it became any worse. I brought her back home to say goodbye and planned to be at my regular vet the following morning at 8am when they opened. In approximately 30 hours, I went from everything being fine to holding my baby girl as my vet ended her life! > > I was in shock for the first week or so. The first few months were very difficult and even now, two years later, I still haven’t been able to get another cat. My Golden Retriever (Bailey) was Anna’s best friend (she slept on top of him at night) and he hasn’t ever been quite the same since she died either. Your Anna sounds like a beautiful kitty! My girl is Anna too, except she isn’t a tuxedo. [Here’s Anna](https://www.flickr.com/photos/fluffy_jo/15610224080/) Anna used to sleep ontop of Baby - she doesn’t know what to do now because Rummy doesn’t like her piling ontop of him! [Anna sleeping on Baby](https://www.flickr.com/photos/fluffy_jo/15609946727/) I bet your Bailey misses his “fur blanket” at night. ☹ Anna’s a rescue cat and a CH cat - sat at the shelter for 1-1/2 years because no one wanted her. I got her at 2 years old and she’s 6 this year - hope to have her for many more years - best girl kitty I’ve ever had! ---
**Author:** ![Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/77aa72/32.png) [@Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fluffy_PickleSniffer)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2014, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-does-it-stop/702561/24 "2014-11-15T16:43:30Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > You’ve received good advice in this thread, but the real answer to that question is “Never. Not completely.” But you have a responsibility to Rummy before he pines away. Pets aren’t people, and they need the company of a creature that thinks like them; that likes the same things; that plays the same games; that they can boss around or will boss them around.\* It will be a while before they get used to each other, but the most important thing to tell yourself when you catch yourself petting the new cat or laughing at its antics is YOU ARE NOT “CHEATING” ON BABY! (Yes, I’ve had pangs of that.) She would want you to be happy. > > - > - When my collie died she left my lab cross forlorn. She had been the Alpha Bitch of the neighborhood, and he didn’t know what to do with himself, being a natural Omega. He wasn’t fit for command, didn’t want to command, and was a nervous wreck. But when he met the Little Girls at my daughter’s place Thisbe, a little, deformed Westie/Shih Tzu and the sweetest dog ever (if your human), took apiece out of daughter’s Bull Terrier Alpha Bitch for looking at her cross-eyed (which is the only way a Bull Terrier can look at anything), he fell in love. He needs her to tell him he’s subservient, and she does it by simply being cool. The big, ferocious Bull is just scared of her. That’s great that your dog found another “leader”! 🙂 Anna is the chief in my household, Rummy the clown and Baby was always the “big brother”. He was a big boy - 16 pounds in his prime - and the other two loved to cuddle into him like kittens. I will definitely be getting another to fill the hole. Trying to find one that fits the job description is a task though 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Beelzebubba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Beelzebubba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beelzebubba)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2014, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-does-it-stop/702561/25 "2014-11-15T19:57:34Z")
> [@Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](#): > > Your Anna sounds like a beautiful kitty! My girl is Anna too, except she isn’t a tuxedo. > [Here’s Anna](https://www.flickr.com/photos/fluffy_jo/15610224080/) > Anna used to sleep ontop of Baby - she doesn’t know what to do now because Rummy doesn’t like her piling ontop of him! [Anna sleeping on Baby](https://www.flickr.com/photos/fluffy_jo/15609946727/) > I bet your Bailey misses his “fur blanket” at night. ☹ > Anna’s a rescue cat and a CH cat - sat at the shelter for 1-1/2 years because no one wanted her. I got her at 2 years old and she’s 6 this year - hope to have her for many more years - best girl kitty I’ve ever had! Here’s a shot of my baby girl from about three years ago. She loved to lay directly in front of the heat vent on my laptop and put her head on the edge of the keyboard…never mind that it caused it to overheat! =) **[ANNA](http://postimg.org/image/8hovvnow1/)** ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2014, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-does-it-stop/702561/26 "2014-11-15T22:49:57Z")
I’m so glad Rummy’s doing better. Antibiotics can make cats feel bad, so don’t be alarmed if he’s not 100%-he’ll likely be better once he’s off them. Just make sure he continues to eat. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Whatever4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@Whatever4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whatever4)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2014, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-does-it-stop/702561/27 "2014-11-16T01:27:24Z")
When my Scotty was euthanized, I just stood there staring at her, until my vet asked if he should call a cab so I wouldn’t have to drive. I did drive home, and held it together until I opened the door to my now dogless house. I fell on the floor and cried, yelled, called her name over and over. The next day I took every bit of dog stuff to the shelter because I couldn’t bear to look at it. I combed the internet for a pet loss board and found a wonderful woman in Canada who talked me into a calmer state, and then called me a few days later just to see how I was doing. The next big obstacle was picking up her ashes, which was almost as bad. I made a display of Scotty things that reminded me of her; I decorated a basket for her ashes and added doggy poems to it; and I have a picture of her or of a Scotty in every room of the house. I started out for a walk in early Spring, a few months after her death and turned back almost immediately because her little pawprints were there in the still-frozen mud. She’s been dead for 8 years, and I still sleep with her favorite stuffed toy. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-does-it-stop/702561/28 "2014-11-18T00:11:19Z")
I still miss my winken the wonderful. What a good girl she was, she even spared me that final decision as she passed away at home before the vet opened. I have a whole new crew now, and I still miss my first crew. 2008 was an odd year as I had 2 cats pass, and 2 cats the universe decided I should have, arrived. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-does-it-stop/702561/29 "2014-11-19T14:59:05Z")
**Fluffy** , I didn’t see this one the first time, but it sure seems timely to read it today when I have just lost one of mine. His brother Bruno and I don’t know what to do. Yesterday I thought maybe if I just took a few hours to cry it out, I could get a handle on it, but today I’m tearing up as much as ever. It’s been thirteen years since the last time I had to deal with this and I’d forgotten how horrible it is. At least I know that I’m not overreacting. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-does-it-stop/702561/30 "2014-11-19T16:51:43Z")
I felt the same way **Dung Beetle** …“Am I overreacting?” Because I felt - and feel - just so fucking sad. And I can’t shake it (over 2 months now). It’s good to read others’ accounts and to share just to know we aren’t crazy. This hurt is very real. Hope you find your peace soon, **Dung Beetle**. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2014, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-does-it-stop/702561/31 "2014-11-19T16:58:02Z")
You too, **Zipper**. Thanks for the kind words. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-does-it-stop/702561.md?page=1)