# When Facing an Angry Mob Armed with Raspberries, What is Best to Do? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 7, 2018, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768 "2018-12-07T23:01:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2018, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/1 "2018-12-07T23:01:16Z")
Of course, conventional wisdom says that if you are pursued by an angry mob who are armed with raspberries, you should release the tiger. Because the tiger will eat your attackers, and also eat the raspberries. However, could a tiger, an animal that is classified as a true carnivore, be relied upon to eat the raspberries? Wouldn’t it make more sense to release the grizzly bear? Grizzlies are fond of berries and would no doubt devour the raspberries, mob, pointed sticks, and all. What do you think? ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2018, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/2 "2018-12-07T23:29:43Z")
Raspberries don’t kill people, raspberry allergies kill people who are extremely allergic to Raspberries. And I suppose if you get one logged in the Trachea , but then it’s really the asphyxiation that kills the person not the Raspberry per se. Or if maybe you slip on the goo of a raspberry on teh street, and break your head, but that is really more of a combination of gravity and rapid deceleration doing the killing. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2018, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/3 "2018-12-08T00:19:14Z")
> [@Two Many Cats](#): > > However, could a tiger, an animal that is classified as a true carnivore, be relied upon to eat the raspberries? That’s a feature not a bug! The tiger eats the mob and you eat the raspberries ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2018, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/4 "2018-12-08T00:57:01Z")
You lure the mob beneath the 16 ton weight. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2018, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/5 "2018-12-08T01:03:59Z")
Raspberries don’t kill people, people kill people. If the tiger eats the people, the raspberries will just… lie there. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2018, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/6 "2018-12-08T01:06:03Z")
Pull out your cellphone, call doordash, and order 500 Mrs. Fields cookies and 250 pints of Ben&Jerry’s plain vanilla ice cream. Then borrow a cuisinart from one of the people in the mob and whip up a raspberry coulis. Now you’re ready to distract the angry mob with dessert (as soon as you get plates, napkins, flatware, tables, chairs, and whipped cream). ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2018, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/7 "2018-12-08T01:12:22Z")
Blow raspberries back at them. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2018, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/8 "2018-12-08T01:24:26Z")
I would go for the pointed stick. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2018, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/9 "2018-12-08T01:30:09Z")
I have not been trained to face an angry mob armed with raspberries and only nominally instructed in how to defend myself against an attacker with a banana so I’m not sure what I would do . ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2018, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/10 "2018-12-08T01:30:18Z")
Take away their angry mob and the raspberries are powerless. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2018, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/11 "2018-12-08T01:33:26Z")
> [@Suburban\_Plankton](#): > > I would go for the pointed stick. Go with the pointed stick for the marry, fuck or kill? And which for the Tiger and raspberry? ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2018, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/12 "2018-12-08T01:47:53Z")
Hmmm…well, if the crowd was armed with _The_ Raspberries, I’d ask them to play [Go All The Way](https://youtu.be/ULL7apmAJTE) at full volume. I bet the tiger would dig it. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2018, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/13 "2018-12-08T01:53:42Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > Go with the pointed stick for the marry, fuck or kill? > And which for the Tiger and raspberry? Maybe you kill the tiger with the pointed stick after the tiger eats the mob? And when the PETA vegans come after you for killing the tiger, you distract them with the raspberries so you can make your getaway. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2018, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/14 "2018-12-08T02:11:17Z")
Break out the Bisquick, and offer to make everyone raspberry cobbler if they calm down. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2018, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/15 "2018-12-08T02:16:04Z")
I strongly recommend . . . I do mean strongly . . . have another drink laddie. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2018, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/16 "2018-12-08T05:01:44Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > I strongly recommend . . . I do mean strongly . . . have another drink laddie. Raspberry Spritzer? (Pause) Lemon Curry? ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2018, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/17 "2018-12-08T05:50:56Z")
Pointed stick, hell! Give me a loaded Webley .455! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2018, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/18 "2018-12-08T07:22:33Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > And which for the Tiger and raspberry? Princess Blueberry knows which is which. But you still have to guess if she’s telling you the truth. Would she rather you get killed by a tiger than see you with another berry? ---
**Author:** ![lingyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d2c977/32.png) [@lingyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lingyi)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2018, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/19 "2018-12-08T08:54:21Z")
Awww…the good answers are already taken, so I guess I’ll answer…42! ---
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2018, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768/20 "2018-12-08T12:17:53Z")
Step 1: Slice open your durian. ([People Try Durian (The Smelliest Fruit In The World) - YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=og5e6wLIU18)) Step 2: The angry mob disperses due to the noxious order. Step 3: Collect dropped raspberries. Step 4: Open a pop-up raspberry stand. Step 5: Profit! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-facing-an-angry-mob-armed-with-raspberries-what-is-best-to-do/825768.md?page=2)