# When going to the movies, always bring a school teacher **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 18, 2003, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852 "2003-12-18T21:25:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/21 "2003-12-19T03:48:59Z")
Once, my fiance and I went to see “Bringing Down The House” (we both think Queen Latifah is really hot). During the movie, there were a few people in the front row who were being really, really loud. The theater was packed, and everyone was getting really annoyed. Then, out of the blue, the voice of God came from on high (or at least from a couple of rows behind us) and asked them to shut up, using very forceful language. As God was currently speaking in a very deep, menacing sounding voice, the very LOUD blasphemers got _really_ quiet. We thanked him after the movie. I think that, had I been of age, I’d’ve offered to buy him a drink. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/22 "2003-12-19T13:39:25Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Ms Macphisto \* > \*\* I wound up sitting right in front of a bunch of 12-year-old girls who were only there because of Orlando Bloom and felt no need to pay any attention to scenes he wasn’t in._\* Then they must have been talking almost non-stop! 😉 **Fox Trot** ’s storyline this week has been about siblings Jason (10 y/o ubergeek) and Paige (14 y/o muffinhead) seeing ROTK in tandem. Paige is all aswoon over Bloom, much to Jason’s frustration and disgust. In light of this, when seeing the film last night, I braced myself for Legolas’ first appearance, then mimed orgasmic bliss for Mr. Rilch’s benefit. Afterwards, however, I concluded that Bill Amend either must have turned in this week’s strips too early to have seen an advance screening, or didn’t see an advance screening at all, because Legolas was hardly in it at all, and IRL, Paige would have been the one tearing her hair out! Note: I am not an Orlando Bloom worshipper (nothing against him, just that he ain’t no Hugh Jackman). _And_, though I could have done a very convincing squeal along with my mock faint, I made my performance **silently**. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![The13thUnicorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/85e7bf/32.png) [@The13thUnicorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The13thUnicorn)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/23 "2003-12-19T14:19:44Z")
I went to one of the first screeenings of rotk with my brother. Theatre is packed. We ended up sitting close to the front, only to watch a mother bring in her small baby. What kind of idiot brings a very young baby to a movie??!! There is no way with all the battles and loudness that a baby would sleep through it. So we had to listen to a crying baby, thankfully most of it ws drowned out by the movie itself. I just wish I had had the guts to yell or something! ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/24 "2003-12-19T14:34:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eternal \* > \*\*Yeah, nothing beats a death squad. \*\* No one expects a thousands-strong international secret society of vigilantes who follow inconsiderate movie-goers home from the theatre and murder them in their beds. ---
**Author:** ![DaToad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@DaToad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaToad)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/25 "2003-12-19T15:46:29Z")
I don’t tolerate rude very well, and I’m not too shy to speak up. I’m not as big as **Miller’s** or **Spoof’s** friends, or as big as **Jeff O** , but big enough (6’-0" 250) that I don’t get any shit. If there are talkers close to me, or a chair kicker behind me I ask them once, nicely, to please stop, because after all one must be civil. If they persist I revert to my base self and they get, “Hey, STFU or I’m going rip your lips off and shove them up your ass”, or, “If you kick my chair one more time I going to tear off one of your legs and beat you to death with it.” Hasn’t failed yet, but I can’t figure out why my ex didn’t like to go to the movies with me. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@Scarlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlet)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/26 "2003-12-19T15:51:16Z")
I’m in agreement that something must be done about movie-goers. We rarely go to movies anymore. Last one we went to I wanted to kill someone. First of all it was an R movie (don’t remember what one) and it was 10PM at night. These MORONS 2 rows in front of us bring in their baby. Baby proceeds to scream non-stop. The parent’s don’t bother taking it out. The mom’s cell phone kept ringing and she was talking on it quite loudly. Then, the most god-awful smell started to permeate the theatre. Oh yes, the precious baby had a poopy diper. Did they take it out to change it? Hell no!! The fuckers changed the diper in the middle of the fucking theatre! At that point (about 1/2 way through the movie) we left. We pitched a royal fit, got our money back and haven’t been to the movies since. As much as I would absolutely love to go see ROTK at the theatre, after that experience, I think we’ll wait until its out on DVD. ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/27 "2003-12-19T17:02:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Larry Mudd \* > **I’m doing my best to start an urban legend that there’s a thousands-strong international secret society of vigilantes who follow inconsiderate movie-goers home from the theatre and murder them in their beds.** This is **true**. My brother’s friend’s sister was at some movie just last week where they didn’t even wait until they got home. They dragged this guy who just _whispered_ out in the middle of the movie and shot him 7 times in the street. She said it was a gang-initiation thing. You have to kill the first person who talks after the intro credits finish. There have been **618** confirmed cases of this already happening. I’ve checked, and no-where on the internet is this denied. The police are trying to keep it a secret because they are powerless to stop it! Sometimes they even have a gang member up in the projection room with a sniper’s gun. The movie theatres are afraid to complain, although they do try to warn those ‘in the known’ by putting unpopped kernels in the pop-corn. Check your pop corn next time you go to the movies! Email this warning to all your friends before they are the next victims! Tell them to pass it on! ---
**Author:** ![Sanscour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f475e1/32.png) [@Sanscour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sanscour)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/28 "2003-12-19T21:14:13Z")
**Rilchiam** , I’m not sure how you would take this…but I saw an ad of Hugh Jackman in People…he’s going to be in Oklahoma… Hugh Jackman, aka Wolverine, the man with an adamantium encased skeleton of _snicketing_ badassness is doing OKLAHOMA!! MY EYES!!! But as a man, I LOVE the whispy voice of Liv Tyler in the trilogy. No one was very bad in my viewing of RoTK, for which I am thankful. I will help spread the UL of people who gab in theatres die painfully myth. Sanscour ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/29 "2003-12-19T21:41:27Z")
> [@](#): > > If they persist I revert to my base self and they get, “Hey, STFU or I’m going rip your lips off and shove them up your ass”, or, “If you kick my chair one more time I going to tear off one of your legs and beat you to death with it.” Hasn’t failed yet, but I can’t figure out why my ex didn’t like to go to the movies with me. Heck, I’m married, and _I_ will go to the movies with you. Better to miss 10 seconds of the movie while my escort is intimidating idjits than to miss most of the movie, I always say. ---
**Author:** ![Ms\_Macphisto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Ms\_Macphisto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ms_Macphisto)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/30 "2003-12-19T22:09:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rilchiam \* > **Then they must have been talking almost non-stop! 😉** Actually, by the end of the movie, I was kind of regretting giving them the deathstare as those few minutes of not talking gave them a chance to breathe. Otherwise, I think they would have passed out due to lack of oxygen by the mid-way point of the movie. Oh, and one of my first clues that I was in for a long night was that one of them let out a genuine shriek the first time Legolas appeared. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2003, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/31 "2003-12-20T01:08:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DaToad \* > \*\* > If they persist I revert to my base self and they get, “Hey, STFU or I’m going rip your lips off and shove them up your ass”, or, “If you kick my chair one more time I going to tear off one of your legs and beat you to death with it.” Hasn’t failed yet, but I can’t figure out why my ex didn’t like to go to the movies with me. \*\* Funny, my ex didn’t like to go to the movies with me either, for the same reason. And I’m a 5’4" 130 lb chick. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2003, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/32 "2003-12-20T01:19:39Z")
**Sanscour** , worse than that? Jackman is playing **Peter Fucking Allen** (!!) in _The Boy from Oz_!! ---
**Author:** ![Thylacine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thylacine/32/1143_2.png) [@Thylacine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thylacine)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2003, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/33 "2003-12-20T01:38:46Z")
Hugh Jackman was filmed in the London cast of Oklahoma before either X-Men movie (cast recording released in 1998, filmed version 1999). I have seen the film of the production, he was excellent. My understanding is that is the same version that you will be seeing soon. Don’t worry too much about it. He has a wide range. ---
**Author:** ![DeaganTheWolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/49beb7/32.png) [@DeaganTheWolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeaganTheWolf)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2003, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/34 "2003-12-20T02:46:15Z")
Ah yes, the annoying moviegoers. I’m a small man, 5’7, 150 ish but for some bizzare reason I was blessed with an exceptionally deep voice. Think a rough growly james earl jones and you’ll be close. I’ve found that once I’ve bellowed out a “SHUT THE FUCK UP, OR ELSE!” That the teens usually quiet down quickly. Obviously I wait until it’s dark. Hey I’m not superman; and I’ve no wish to have to fend off a pack of teens who probably outweigh me. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2003, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/35 "2003-12-20T03:00:10Z")
He has an _amazing_ singing voice, by the way. I’ve heard the cast recording… oddly enough, at the local comic store, the owner was very fond of musicals. In fact, that was the general reaction when he was cast as Wolverine. “What? He’s a musical actor… and he’s australian!” ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2003, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/36 "2003-12-20T03:04:38Z")
Well, **jayjay** and **Thylacine** already said what I was going to say about His Hughness, so I’ll just add that I have a video of him in the 1998 version of _Oklahoma!_! Never occured to me to be bothered! He’s also been in a stage version of _Beauty and the Beast_, playing Gaston; haven’t seen that, but I have a recording. Dude’s got some pipes! ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2003, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/37 "2003-12-20T03:06:37Z")
Oh, I don’t personally find it improbable. I just thought if **Sanscours** found him in Oklahoma! to be strange, imagine him as Liza’s first experiment in ex-gay therapy! ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2003, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/38 "2003-12-20T16:06:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by blessedwolf \* > \*\*I’ve given the “Blessedwolf Stare of Death™” to far too many people in movie theatres. Teenagers, young adults, people with crying babies (in R-rated horror movies) who won’t take them out to the lobby, etc. Th eonly thing that keeps me from going to the manager and having them thrown in a vat of pudding is that…_I don’t want to miss a minute of the movie._ I mean, god-damn! I paid waaay too much for tickets (often too much even at the dollar theatre, but that’s my own damn fault for going to movies like _The League of Extraordiary Gentlemen_.) I’ll be damned if I get up off my lazy, now-broke ass–well, not broke…-but there’s a crack in it! See?-- to miss what might, for all I know, be the best parts of a movie. > > Of course, that would make the rest of the flick watchable…so maybe I’ll stop bitching in hushed tones to my movie-going companrions, and start bitching to the manager. \*\* You know, generally, if you complain to a manager, and the kids (or whomever) won’t be quiet, and you continue to bitch, etc the movie theatre, will generally gift you with a coupon for another movie. At least that’s what has happened for me in these cases, once (the case of the drunk in the back row), I didn’t even have to ask, they OFFERED. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2003, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/39 "2003-12-20T23:47:32Z")
Went to see ROTK yesterday afternoon and thought of this thread because… 7 13 year olds sat right next to me and talked quite a bit, requiring me to say SHUT UP several times. The kid next to me took to sucking the water out of his empty cup with a straw every 10 minutes of the second hour of the movie, and I wanted to rip that cup out of his hand and shove it up his ass… After the movie, one of the kids upended a half-ful tub of popcorn onto another kid’s head. Hilarious for the poor schmuck who has to clean the theatre… ---
**Author:** ![Doc\_Nickel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@Doc\_Nickel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doc_Nickel)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/40 "2003-12-21T00:11:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homebrew \* > \*\*No one expects a thousands-strong international secret society of vigilantes who follow inconsiderate movie-goers home from the theatre and murder them in their beds. \*\* -Because, after all, our chief weapon is Surprise. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852.md?page=3)