# When going to the movies, always bring a school teacher **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 18, 2003, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852 "2003-12-18T21:25:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/41 "2003-12-21T00:20:06Z")
Surprise and a dangerously fanatical devotion to silence at movies… Our TWO chief weapons are surprise, a dangerously fanatical devotion to silence at movies, and 1920s-style death ra… I’ll come in again… ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/42 "2003-12-21T11:19:47Z")
Oh **jayjay** , you’ve OH so done it now!! Now the very easily annoyed and fun challenged are going to overrun this thread. With 1920’s style “We are NOT Amused” Rays. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Long\_Road](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5a626/32.png) [@The\_Long\_Road](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Long_Road)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/43 "2003-12-21T12:43:34Z")
A group of us went to see Saving Private Ryan and during the part where they keep mentioning FUBAR but not telling the guy what it means, someone in the row behind us had to keep explaining what it meant every time it was mentioned(ok, long sentence, sorry). Finally one of our group turned and said, “Listen, if I wanted to hear you instead of this movie, I’d have paid you, now STFU”. It worked, but since there were six of us, the guy probably figured there was no reason to push the issue. The worst nerdyness in a movie ever was during Independence Day. When the president was done giving his speach, a group stoop up in the theatre and started applauding. I felt pity for them since they had obviously seen the movie more than once to time their stupid act so perfectly. I can’t imagine paying to see that movie multiple times. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/44 "2003-12-21T14:54:26Z")
One time a group of friends and I were watching some movie, I think it was X-men II anyway the movie starts and for fifteen minutes this guy was sitting next to us and talking very loudly on his cell phone. Everyone was getting pissed but noone said anything, but finally my friend just turned to him point blank and said: "Dude Shut The Fuck Up, We Are Trying To Watch A Fucking Movie!..Anyways the guy got up and moved…muhahahah ---
**Author:** ![whistlepig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/73ab20/32.png) [@whistlepig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whistlepig)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/45 "2003-12-21T16:34:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DaToad \* > \*\*I don’t tolerate rude very well, and I’m not too shy to speak up. > > I’m not as big as **Miller’s** or **Spoof’s** friends, or as big as **Jeff O** , but big enough (6’-0" 250) that I don’t get any shit. > > If there are talkers close to me, or a chair kicker behind me I ask them once, nicely, to please stop, because after all one must be civil. > > If they persist I revert to my base self and they get, “Hey, STFU or I’m going rip your lips off and shove them up your ass”, or, “If you kick my chair one more time I going to tear off one of your legs and beat you to death with it.” Hasn’t failed yet, but I can’t figure out why my ex didn’t like to go to the movies with me. \*\* Do we have the same ex? Mine would always caution me when we went to big cities, “Now you can’t tell someone they are being rude, they might have a gun or beat you up or something.” Feh, I grew up in an oilfield boom town, not much scares me. I was always amazed how nice people in big cities were when I gently pointed out rudeness. The few times I had to ask twice, they always apoligized. Maybe it has something to do with having a very deep voice and either looking like a cop (short hair) or a dangerous person (long hair). Whistlepig ---
**Author:** ![pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b9e5f3/32.png) [@pretend\_my\_name\_is\_witty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pretend_my_name_is_witty)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/46 "2003-12-21T23:20:02Z")
It’s great, I’m a poor student who has a part-time job at the local cinema, and have to deal with lots of people like the aforementioned fucktards. Every sunday, we get a big load of ‘pikeys’ coming to the cinema to try and screw us over. (They call themselves pikeys, but they’re really just another bunch of non-irish gypsies). Often, they’re too noisy, and have to be removed. I’m always the one that has to do it though because apparently I have ‘an authoritative voice’ and no-one else really wants to do it because they’re actually quite threatening (albeit most of them being smaller than me)! After removing ‘our special friends’ from the screen, and when the film has finished, I get loads of congratulations from the other customers, and have recieved tips and offers of drinks before! I seriously dont understand why some people think they can get away with being such nobbers in the cinema. Do they honestly think that no-one will mind? No-one will stand up to them? Cocks. ---
**Author:** ![Nanoda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Nanoda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanoda)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/47 "2003-12-22T00:48:04Z")
Back when laser pointers were still a “cool” thing to have, a friend of mine one had to be quite graphic about the consequences of continuing to underline the names on the opening credits. 😃 I don’t see why it’s such a big deal to stop people yapping. I’m not a small individual myself, but anyone can easily preemptivly co-opt half the theatre into an ass-kicking threat. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/48 "2003-12-22T07:05:03Z")
I just got back from a movie. The count: 3 cell phones and 1 pager went off. The girl whose pager went off had bright purple hair and laughed through the entire movie. This would have been okay if it was, say, The Cat in the Hat or whatever, but it was Return of the King. If you’ve seen it, you know there are many touching and serious moments. AND SHE LAUGHED THROUGH ALL OF THEM. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2003, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/49 "2003-12-22T07:48:11Z")
During **Return of the King** , I sneezed during an otherwise silent moment. And I didn’t even feel it coming on, so I couldn’t suppress it. Mr. Rilch: Bless you. Me: You’re supposed to say “Fool of a Took!” ---
**Author:** ![shy\_guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@shy\_guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shy_guy)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2003, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/50 "2003-12-23T05:48:33Z")
Some lovely couple decided to bring their baby to the 9:50 pm showing of Return of the King the second time I saw it. I was preparing for the worst, and I even made sure I knew where they were sitting in case I had to ask them to take it outside or tell an usher on them. Mercifully for all, I think the poor baby fell asleep soon after the movie started (how it could do so with all the noise and Gollum’s face filling the screen, I have no idea). ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2004, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/51 "2004-06-06T17:19:26Z")
> [@Angel of the Lord](#): > > Once, my fiance and I went to see “Bringing Down The House” (we both think Queen Latifah is really hot). During the movie, there were a few people in the front row who were being really, really loud. The theater was packed, and everyone was getting really annoyed. > > Then, out of the blue, the voice of God came from on high (or at least from a couple of rows behind us) and asked them to shut up, using very forceful language. As God was currently speaking in a very deep, menacing sounding voice, the very LOUD blasphemers got _really_ quiet. > > We thanked him after the movie. I think that, had I been of age, I’d’ve offered to buy him a drink. Oh, that brings back memories. We still talk about the “Voice Of God From On High” day in the theater. When my stepson had his 12th birthday, we took him and a couple of his friends to a movie. Naturally, they were too cool to be seen with parents, so they sat down in the front row and we were sitting in the good seats, about 2/3 up dead center. SWMBO had cautioned them to behave and we were keeping an eye on them while we were waiting for the movie to start. It wasn’t a very full showing at all, probably not more than 30 people or so in the seats, and when the grabass got a little too rowdy with the kids, SWMBO says, “We ought to calm them down a little.” I think she was thinking that I should get up and go down there and shush them. Instead, I just raised my voice and said, “QUIET DOWN THERE!” Now - I teach Taekwondo. I know how to project my voice in command pitch. I did it without even thinking about it. And the whole damn theater went deathly quiet for about 5 seconds. Then someone seated a couple of rows behind us said, “God has spoken; tremble and obey.” And the whole place just cracked up laughing, and then the movie started. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2004, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852/52 "2004-06-06T18:32:11Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > Oh, that brings back memories. Indeed…memories of a six-month old thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-going-to-the-movies-always-bring-a-school-teacher/219852.md?page=2)