# When guy mentions his girlfriend or wife in the conversation ..............? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 3, 2015, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668 "2015-04-03T00:27:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophistry_and_Illusion)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2015, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/21 "2015-04-04T08:46:02Z")
When I’m talking with women (especially women I’ve just met), I mention my wife as a way of signalling, “I’m not hitting on you.” ---
**Author:** ![FluffyBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@FluffyBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FluffyBob)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/22 "2015-04-05T13:39:45Z")
I mention my wife in conversation when it is relevant. She is important and instrumental in my life so she gets mentioned a lot. So do my sons. ---
**Author:** ![Lilian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5a626/32.png) [@Lilian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lilian)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/23 "2015-04-05T13:56:50Z")
If a married man flirts with me he **never** talks about his wife. If a man out of the blue mentions his wife /girlfriend I take it as a hint that he’s not available for a flirt. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/24 "2015-04-05T15:16:05Z")
Here’s the recent thread about the same issue from the other gender POV: [Women feeling the need to reference their boyfriends (to reassure themselves?) - In My Humble Opinion - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=748023) ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/25 "2015-04-05T15:34:36Z")
Sometimes. mentioning a wife/girlfriend may be a way of putting a female stranger at ease. The implication is, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to hit on you. I’m happily taken, so I’m safe.” ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/26 "2015-04-05T22:05:54Z")
I wear a wedding ring, should take care of any misunderstanding. And I’m quite a catch, according to my wife. Edit: I guess she has to say that, otherwise she looks like she settled. ---
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/27 "2015-04-05T22:59:02Z")
> [@Barnes66](#): > > I noticed that some guys will mention their girlfriend or wife when you start talking to them and some guys wont unless directly asked. > One time at work this older approached me in the parking lot man asked me if my hood of my car is open and i said yes it won’t close, it might needs to greased or I might need a new cable.Then he told me that he will try to put some greese on it sometime during his shift to see if it will close.I said sure and thanked him.Then i asked if he knows how to open it and he says he does.Then he mentioned that his wife`s brother works with cars > Another time was when i took my car to the shop to get something fixed not too long ago.Then when it was time to pay at the front ,i dropped my debit card on the floor by accident and the guy at the cash said sorry, thinking it was him that caused it but i said oh no its okay i drop things all the time. > > I then added “my friends told me that i have butter hands”.Then he said he is the same way and he mentioned the fact that his wife only lets him keep the old stuff because he is so clumsy. I thought it was odd that he mentioned his wife out of the blue because I don’t think bringing up his wife relevant to the conversation at all. In my mind I was just making a small talk as a customer and not flirting . I wasn’t even attracted to the dude > On the other hand,my crush never mentioned his live girlfriend in front of me. One time I came to work wearing make up for the first time and he complimented and told me I looked good Then we made a small talk and I asked him if he ever goes out in his spare time and he just said he does to a pub sometime but he used to go out allot when he was in school. I also asked him where he lives and he just said the south part of the city.He never slipped the girlfriend in the conversation.I found out when he recently told another older lady at work that he hasn’t came to work regularly because his girlfriend is sick and he is staying home taking care of her. The lady told us what he said when he left the room. That’s how I found out.He doesn’t know that i know. > > So do guys who bring up their SO immidetely in the conversation think you are flirting with them? Also how about guys who don’t mention their SO ? Guys in general at not that aware of what is going on, or pick up on subtle things. If a woman is flirting with a guy, she has to practically hit him over the head with it for him to fully understand she either has an interest in him. Guys are not used to women flirting with them so they don’t expect it unless they have this massive ego like the character Fraser in the TV series by the same name. So if they mention a wife or girl friend, it’s because it just came up in conversation the vast majority of the time. If a guy is really not interested in a women, he’s not going to give her any attention or look to end the conversation. Not to be rude, but he isn’t interested, available or distracted at the time. ---
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/28 "2015-04-05T23:00:45Z")
> [@River\_Hippie](#): > > It’s the man’s way of saying “Hey, I’ve managed to attract one regular sex partner so maybe you would like having sex with me as well!” > > 🙂 If that’s the case, he would drop that his ex-wife was an underwear model for Victory Secret, but he didn’t like her being on the road all the time because they couldn’t spend time on the yacht that he bought just for her, her favorite color too. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2015, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/29 "2015-04-05T23:04:01Z")
> [@boytyperanma](#): > > Not saying this applies to anyone here but this thread is kind of an example of how things work for different people. > > Straight people are very casual about rubbing their sexuality in your face. Gay people are expected to avoid mentioning their partners because it might make someone have to explain gay sex to their kids or something… Come on, you know very well, if they have to explain gay sex to their kids their heads would explode! It’s a safety issue. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/30 "2015-04-06T00:56:05Z")
I don’t think it means anything specific. Sometimes it’s just conversation, sometimes it’s the guy making sure you know he’s not available. And sometimes–well, I have known a guy who mentioned his wife, mentioned he should spend more time with his wife, mentioned how highly he regarded his wife. In between all these mentions of his wife he was definitely hitting on me. Maybe it was some approach-avoidance thing. ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/31 "2015-04-06T04:00:09Z")
> [@48Willys](#): > > I do not know about other folks, but when I mention my wife, it is because she is a large part of my life, she just comes up in conversations. Much of my live revolves around her. That’s my excuse, I mean reason. Most of my anecdotes from adulthood involve either my girlfriend or her predecessor. No more significance to it than that. > [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > I don’t think it means anything specific. Sometimes it’s just conversation, sometimes it’s the guy making sure you know he’s not available. And sometimes–well, I have known a guy who mentioned his wife, mentioned he should spend more time with his wife, mentioned how highly he regarded his wife. In between all these mentions of his wife he was definitely hitting on me. Maybe it was some approach-avoidance thing. Plausible deniability? ---
**Author:** ![Syne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Syne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syne)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/32 "2015-04-06T06:31:06Z")
Funny, I recently witnessed a buddy drop what I call the ‘gf bomb’ on a girl flirting with him. In fact we were celebrating his girlfriend’s “Target is closing in Canada” party where it was her last day as a manager. I can’t say I have ever used this tactic, but I am pretty sure women have unnecessarily and gratuitously done it to me a few times. Usually I ignore it because it doesn’t mean anything. They could be reassuring themselves because they are attracted, or being skittish. Either way, it doesn’t help anything to overanalyze. Just keep moving the conversation forward and let it evolve organically. Someone having a s/o doesn’t necessarily imply monogamy or fidelity. In fact, if they mention their s/o I just assume a standard topic change and run with it. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/33 "2015-04-06T10:00:16Z")
They boyfriend-bomb me from orbit. Because it’s the only way to be sure. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2015, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/34 "2015-04-06T13:21:54Z")
Ok, so guys are jerks for casually talking about their wives or girlfriends in casual conversation. And guys are jerks if they don’t. And if they talk about the Marvel Cinematic Universe it doesn’t matter. ---
**Author:** ![kathysw6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/278dde/32.png) [@kathysw6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kathysw6)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2016, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/35 "2016-07-26T21:40:30Z")
I’m wondering why older men manage to mention their wives in an initial casual conversation. It makes me feel like they think I’m flirting with them (I’m not). Are they so not used to a female talking to them that they don’t know what to say? I’m older myself and this has happened even in a hardware store when I’ve asked the employee about a metal window lock. I don’t understand why they feel this is necessary. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2016, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/36 "2016-07-26T23:38:35Z")
> [@kathysw6](#): > > Are they so not used to a female talking to them that they don’t know what to say? This is exactly the reason. Good job, you figured it out. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2016, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/37 "2016-07-26T23:57:15Z")
> [@kathysw6](#): > > I’m wondering why older men manage to mention their wives in an initial casual conversation. It makes me feel like they think I’m flirting with them (I’m not). Are they so not used to a female talking to them that they don’t know what to say? I’m older myself and this has happened even in a hardware store when I’ve asked the employee about a metal window lock. I don’t understand why they feel this is necessary. Then read this thread. Bam. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/38 "2016-07-27T00:07:51Z")
> [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](#): > > When I’m talking with women (especially women I’ve just met), I mention my wife as a way of signaling, “I’m not hitting on you.” Exactly. ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/39 "2016-07-27T00:16:29Z")
Guys who aren’t on the prowl aren’t thinking that hard. Mentioning their wife could be a result of their wife taking up a large portion of their day to day thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emtar_KronJonDerSohn)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2016, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668/40 "2016-07-27T01:09:31Z")
I could absolutely ruin you for other men. I’ve done it before, but I won’t. So tell me more about this window lock? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-guy-mentions-his-girlfriend-or-wife-in-the-conversation/716668.md?page=3)