# When Hollywood gets the message all wrong – worst lessons from TV/film.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [May 12, 2009, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198 "2009-05-12T18:32:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 11

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**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\
**Post date:** [May 15, 2009, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/201 "2009-05-15T16:21:34Z")

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Amusing one :  
**The Green Mile** : If you meet Christ, kill him. Beeing perfectly good makes him unhappy.

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**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\
**Post date:** [May 15, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/202 "2009-05-15T16:24:33Z")

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> [@Chanteuse](#):
>
> He was risking more than that. Remember, what he was doing was considered a capital crime. Don’t forget how he was imprisoned and debased when it all came to light. He was risking everything he had, not simply for notoriety, or to impress a girl, but to change his very destiny. All life was offering him was perpetual poverty, and the laws of the land were set up to keep him and others like him confined to that. He wanted to “change his stars” and he laid it all on the line to do just that.

Which in itself is a broken message : “if you can’t escape poverty, get your crime on ! You’ll turn into a respected member of high society in the end !” 😛

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [May 15, 2009, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/203 "2009-05-15T17:00:49Z")

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> [@Argent\_Towers](#):
>
> That’s still more honorable than doing nothing but jousting in tournaments to earn all of your money. At least the other guy risked his life on the battlefield - the only thing Heath Ledger risked was death by accident if a splinter of a shattered lance were to go through the ridiculously wide slit in his helmet’s visor and pierce his brain. A real jousting helmet from Medieval times would have had a very, very narrow slit in the visor that could really only be seen through while the wearer had his head tilted forward. It would have looked something like [this](http://www.museum-joanneum.at/cms/dokumente/10956041_29013204/50933f72/Stechhelm.jpg) - and [“great helms”](http://www.by-the-sword.com/acatalog/images/300404.jpg) of the “Crusader” variety were also used in tournaments, but nothing like what Heath Ledger wore in that movie would have been used in any context, because the type of helmet he wears in that film seems to have been completely made-up for the movie. I have seen hundreds of different pictures of Medieval and Renaissance-era helmets and I have never seen any tournament helmet with as large of an eye slit as the helmet from A Knight’s Tale.

Next you’ll be telling me they didn’t really do “the wave” at the tournaments.

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**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\
**Post date:** [May 15, 2009, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/204 "2009-05-15T17:04:30Z")

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> [@Freudian\_Slit](#):
>
> That sounds like a real improvement on the original. They got an entire season of episodes out of this?

That, and Vincent would rescue her from the various criminals and murderers she crossed while working as an ADA.

Then after Linda Hamilton left, they thought they could dispense with the romantic part. Nuh-uh.

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**Author:** ![starryspice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@starryspice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/starryspice)\
**Post date:** [May 15, 2009, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/205 "2009-05-15T22:16:12Z")

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[QUOTE=Push You Down]  
Shrek- If you are ugly the only other person who will love you is another ugly person.  
[/QUOTE]

> [@PeacePlease](#):
>
> Seriously! THIS!!! I HATE this movie because this is ultimately the message and I don’t understand why it’s so acclaimed. Sure it’s kinda cute and funny but C’MON!

I’m not done reading the thread, but I have to defend my favorite movie.

The point of this movie is that the guy loves the girl even though she’s not the beautiful princess. In EVERY other movie, it’s only the beautiful princess that gets the prince, even though the prince gets to be ugly as often as not. This is the ONE movie where the princess gets to be ugly, too. The point being, of course, that beauty is on the inside. Seriously, who can’t get behind that.

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**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\
**Post date:** [May 15, 2009, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/206 "2009-05-15T22:24:04Z")

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> [@Lumpy](#):
>
> That, and Vincent would rescue her from the various criminals and murderers she crossed while working as an ADA.
> 
> Then after Linda Hamilton left, they thought they could dispense with the romantic part. Nuh-uh.

I don’t think it was so much that they intended to forever abandon the romance as that it was simply too soon for Victor to get another honey. After all, his beauty was but briefly dead, and he was looking for his kidnapped son for all the remaining year of the show. Not a lot of time for macking.

And actually I was glad, though I thought Jo Anderson was quite a cutie.

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**Author:** ![Roadfood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc348/32.png) [@Roadfood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roadfood)\
**Post date:** [May 15, 2009, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/207 "2009-05-15T23:41:31Z")

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> [@Hello\_Again](#):
>
> **Forrest Gump** – if you ever try to change the system, your life will be shit and you will die of AIDS. But if you never question anything, do what you’re told and keep your head down, you will be successful.
> 
> That movie infuriates me.

I didn’t like that movie either. But the only message I got from it is that everyone Forrest ever cared about (except one) is dead by the end of the movie. So if you want to live, avoid anyone who says that live is like a box of chocolates.

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**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\
**Post date:** [May 16, 2009, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/208 "2009-05-16T01:51:50Z")

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In the commercials category: if you dye your gray hair, you’ll get that dream job and your children will make inspiring speeches about you and worship you like a god.

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**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\
**Post date:** [May 16, 2009, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/209 "2009-05-16T01:59:10Z")

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> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#):
>
> I thought it was the Disney Version in which Belle is a hostage in the Beast’s castle.
> 
> Vincent (from the TV series) never kept Katherine prisoner, he just nursed her back to health after she was attacked and then she went home. Then they hung out and read a lot of poetry together.
> 
> ETA: Holy crap! This is a four-page thread??? :smack:

Ahhh. The reason why I thought it was the TV show the OP was referring was the “ugly guy” comment. In the TV show the Beast _was_ an ugly guy, whereas in the movie he’s just a beast… and not a particularly “ugly” one, definitely nowhere near as ugly as he could’ve been.

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**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\
**Post date:** [May 16, 2009, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/210 "2009-05-16T02:36:37Z")

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Disney’s Beast was basically a cross between a lion and a buffalo, and he was exquisitely dressed and behaved like a real gentleman. Obviously they’re not going to traumatize a child audience by presenting them with a truly hideous monster. Nothing like the transformed teenage boy in the Are You Afraid of the Dark episode _The Tale of the Dark Dragon_ - [here,](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZxeMl_Pq5s&feature=related) monster is at 6:10 - a thinly veiled anti-drugs morality tale that scared the everliving fuck out of me for several years as a kid.

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**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\
**Post date:** [May 16, 2009, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/211 "2009-05-16T02:47:28Z")

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> [@Sailboat](#):
>
> … Ain’t that a bitch? … Ain’t _that_ a bitch?

I believe the phrase your looking for is “Ain’t that FUBAR”.

😃  
CMC fnord!

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**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\
**Post date:** [May 16, 2009, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/212 "2009-05-16T03:20:23Z")

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> [@woodstockbirdybird](#):
>
> Anyone remember **The Last American Virgin**? The message of that seemed to be: don’t bother being a nice, caring boyfriend, because the girl will dump you to go back with the abusive asshole in the end.

Well, High School was different for everyone, I imagine, but in my experience that message was pretty much right. YMMV.

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**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\
**Post date:** [May 16, 2009, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/213 "2009-05-16T03:25:27Z")

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> [@BrainGlutton](#):
>
> _Forrest Gump_ sends a clear message – and a very, very pernicious message when you think about it – that virtue is more important than intelligence, not on any abstract scale of values but in terms of achieving material success. Forrest Gump gets rich just because he always does the right thing and does what he’s told and works hard and deserves it and has God on his side (which obviously is why his is the only shrimping boat spared by the hurricane), while all around him more intelligent persons destroy their own lives and others’ by running after kicks and causes. The latter part of that is plausible, but not the former. Real-life Forrest Gumps never get rich save through connections or inheritance.

I was going to make a GWB joke, but nevermind.

I never saw the appeal of the Forrest Gump Movie.

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**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\
**Post date:** [May 16, 2009, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/214 "2009-05-16T14:00:24Z")

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> [@msmith537](#):
>
> Actually, she was pretty dull to begin with. No personality. No grooming or hygeine. Dressed in shapeless, dark clothing.
> 
> Also, I think Emilio’s character was also supposed to have made an internal transformation from violent, sheep jock to someone who could make his own decisions and not just go along with other people’s expectations. For example, dating a weird unpopular girl.
> 
> So they kind of met in the middle.

Excellent point, msmith537. This is why I detested _My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding_ so much. The man changed his entire identity, changed his religion, and moved in next door to his in-laws. (If that’s not a prescription for homicide, I don’t know what is.) She didn’t do one thing to go over to his world. I foresee festering resentment for decades to come.

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**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\
**Post date:** [May 16, 2009, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/215 "2009-05-16T19:49:40Z")

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> [@Argent\_Towers](#):
>
> Disney’s Beast was basically a cross between a lion and a buffalo, and he was exquisitely dressed and behaved like a real gentleman. Obviously they’re not going to traumatize a child audience by presenting them with a truly hideous monster. Nothing like the transformed teenage boy in the Are You Afraid of the Dark episode _The Tale of the Dark Dragon_ - [here,](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZxeMl_Pq5s&feature=related) monster is at 6:10 - a thinly veiled anti-drugs morality tale that scared the everliving fuck out of me for several years as a kid.

Ooh, I LOVED the Dark Dragon! Very scary and my fave Are You Afraid of the Dark episode of all time. I didn’t really see it as anti-drug, more like…be yourself.

It sure was creepy. The Nosferatu Vampire in AYAOTD also scared me.

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**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\
**Post date:** [May 16, 2009, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/216 "2009-05-16T23:17:52Z")

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[Doctor Zhivago](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059113/): You know that beautiful, sweet and loyal wife you have at home? Well, the hell with _her_.

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**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\
**Post date:** [May 16, 2009, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/217 "2009-05-16T23:22:22Z")

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> [@Gyrate](#):
>
> **Thelma and Louise** : “All men are scum and it’s okay to shoot them if it makes you feel more empowered. You may have to kill yourself later, but that’s okay because it’s empowering too.” For some reason, feminists loved this message.

[Monster](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0340855/): All men are scum and it’s OK to shoot them if it makes you feel empowered (or hell, if you just need some money), and anyway, shooting a bunch of men doesn’t make you a despicable serial killer, it makes you a feminist heroine.

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**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\
**Post date:** [May 16, 2009, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/218 "2009-05-16T23:49:14Z")

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> [@BrotherCadfael](#):
>
> “I’m a leaf on the wind. Watch me soar!”

That one turned out a little differently… :smack:

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**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\
**Post date:** [May 17, 2009, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/219 "2009-05-17T04:26:14Z")

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> [@Freudian\_Slit](#):
>
> That sounds like a real improvement on the original. They got an entire season of episodes out of this?

And it was all written by George RR Martin!

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**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\
**Post date:** [May 17, 2009, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/220 "2009-05-17T04:27:15Z")

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> [@Miller](#):
>
> Next you’ll be telling me they didn’t really do “the wave” at the tournaments.

‘We will rock you!’ is a medieval folk anthem!

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