# When Hollywood gets the message all wrong – worst lessons from TV/film. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 12, 2009, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198 "2009-05-12T18:32:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/21 "2009-05-12T21:09:59Z")
_You’ve Got Mail_: When a man stalks you online while driving your business into the ground, it’s cute. _Sleepless In Seattle_: When a woman stalks a heart-broken widower and misleads her generous and caring fiance because he has allergies, it’s cute. _When Harry Met Sally_: When a demanding, obsessive woman and a hyper-critical man who compulsively engages in casual sex with random women enter into a passive-aggressive relationship, it’s cute. _Pretty Woman_: If you’re a whore, you should get offended when someone calls you a whore. Also, a rich businessman while drive up in a Lotus Esprit Turbo one day, if you know how to drive a manual shift and how to get back to his hotel, he’ll make you his princess. _Cocktail_: If you are a young, hot-headed punk with no education or skills, you should get a girl pregnant and open a bar. _Top Gun_: If you are a young, hot-headed pilot you should strip down to your underwear and play volleyball with a bunch of sweaty men. _Pretty In Pink_: You should cut up your friend’s vintage dress and make a sack out of it in order to attract the rich kid with no backbone and a bunch of snotty friends that don’t like you. _Sixteen Candles_: You should trade your passed-out girlfriend to another guy to do with as he will so you can get the previously mentioned girl. _Ferris Bueller’s Day Off_: The way to make friends and be held in high esteem is to schmooze people and help them cheat at their classes. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/22 "2009-05-12T21:15:19Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > [. > > _Pretty Woman_: If you’re a whore, you should get offended when someone calls you a whore. Also, a rich businessman while drive up in a Lotus Esprit Turbo one day, if you know how to drive a manual shift and how to get back to his hotel, he’ll make you his princess. I thought the message was “Prostitution is a glamrous life, where you stay at fancy hotels, go shopping on Rodeo Drive, and marry Donald Trump.” ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/23 "2009-05-12T21:16:38Z")
> [@Stranger on a Train](#): > > Top Gun: If you are a young, hot-headed pilot you should strip down to your underwear and play volleyball with a bunch of sweaty men. I vigorously dispute that this is a bad message. ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/24 "2009-05-12T21:16:44Z")
**Batman** - If tragedy strikes you in childhood, don’t attempt to heal or seek any kind of therapy. Hang onto the pain for the rest of your life and become an obsessed vigilante. **Maltese Falcon** - By slapping people around and lying to everyone you meet, you can get to the bottom of a ridiculously-convoluted mystery ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/25 "2009-05-12T21:17:39Z")
A Time to Kill: “Black people (but not white people) have a right to commit vigilante-style murder and get away scot-free, because The System is so hopelessly racist that a black man can’t get justice any other way… even though the town has a black sheriff… and the all-white jury acquits the black vigilante… which means that a black man CAN get justice, which means he ahd no business committing murder… man, this is confusing.” ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/26 "2009-05-12T21:21:25Z")
Tinkerbell: Don’t try to change who you are, always go with what you are labeled as. Honestly, Tinkerbell comes to this land as a regular fairy. She has to choose what her power will be. Actually, the choices are put in front of her, and they chose her. She is labeled a Tinker fairy. She doesn’t want to be a tinker, she strives for more throughout the whole movie, each time she fails she’s told not to try and change, she’s a tinker, it’s who she is. At the end, she accepts her role as a tinker. This, to me, is worse then not trying to change who you are. She was arbitrarily labeled as a tinker and was told not to try and change it. That’s a great way to teach kids to grow up as…snob, trailer trash, jock, geek, moron, ‘wigger’ and never try to break out of the mold. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/27 "2009-05-12T21:25:04Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > _Ferris Bueller’s Day Off_: The way to make friends and be held in high esteem is to schmooze people and help them cheat at their classes. It’s not the only way, but it’s an accurate portrayal of a truth. ---
**Author:** ![spifflog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@spifflog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spifflog)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/28 "2009-05-12T21:58:08Z")
I’ll take some heat for this, but . . . **The Bridges of Madison County** If you’re a man and have an affair, you’re a complete asshole. But if you’re a woman, and your husband is a good, yet boring man, who is off taking the rest of the family to a wholesome state fair, it’s acceptable, no, romantic and heartwarming, to screw the hell out of some out of town dude and contemplate running off on your kids and husband. ---
**Author:** ![Telcontar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Telcontar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telcontar)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/29 "2009-05-12T22:00:55Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Anyone remember **The Last American Virgin**? The message of that seemed to be: don’t bother being a nice, caring boyfriend, because the girl will dump you to go back with the abusive asshole in the end. I just read the wiki plot summary. yeesh, remind me never to watch it. I think the movie had a good message, though: If you’re not an abusive asshole you shouldn’t be friends with one :-P. > [@RealityChuck](#): > > **William Shakespeare’s Romeo + Juliet** : next time, use FedEx. I was going to say Love Actually, which is a collection of extreme romance stories. Perhaps the reason actors and actresses have such drama filled romances is the bad example set by their own movies. ---
**Author:** ![PeacePlease](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/71c47a/32.png) [@PeacePlease](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeacePlease)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/30 "2009-05-12T22:18:07Z")
> [@Push\_You\_Down](#): > > Shrek- If you are ugly the only other person who will love you is another ugly person. Seriously! THIS!!! I HATE this movie because this is ultimately the message and I don’t understand why it’s so acclaimed. Sure it’s kinda cute and funny but C’MON! ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/31 "2009-05-12T22:24:35Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > \*\*Beauty and the Beast \*\*– … Also, don’t worry if you’re an ugly guy. Beautiful women will love you for who you are. If you’re a woman, though, you’d better be hot. How about **Superman**? Be a decent guy, good at your job, and a woman won’t give you the time of day. You have to wear a cape and be able to fuckin’ fly. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/32 "2009-05-12T22:27:17Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > How about **Superman**? Be a decent guy, good at your job, and a woman won’t give you the time of day. You have to wear a cape and be able to fuckin’ fly. Dude, you’re totally watching the wrong Superman. In _Superman III_, Superman (as usual) can pretty much have his choice of babes. But Clark has a serious shot at [Annette O’Toole](http://members.tripod.com/~CARIART/Toole.jpg). Hot ziggity! ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/33 "2009-05-12T22:37:37Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > Went to go watch it again on Youtube - it’s been a while. > > I thought Carol kinda brow-beat Maude about it. It was her stance (which the show seemed to suport) that I was talking about in the OP. > > “There’s only one sensible way out of this.” > “You’re forty seven, Walter’s forty nine, this is no time to be having a baby.” > “Look, mother, you’re not going to go through with this.” > > Way to be suportive of your mother’s right to chose. Actually, if my daughter was that annoying, I’d probably avoid having another one too. The episode was good, and bold for it’s time, and I didn’t think Maude made the wrong choice, but Carol was completely in the wrong. I haven’t seen it but it doesn’t look like her daughter’s argument is that it’s about owing anything to feminism. More that having a baby at Maude’s stage of life probably isn’t a great idea. I’m sure she’d have said the same thing to a guy of that age who was considering having a child. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/34 "2009-05-12T22:45:31Z")
Given the ten thousand movies and television shows in which nobody even brings up the possibility of abortion in a bad situation - talk about worst lessons and wrong messages - Carol’s advice is some of the best stuff ever. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/35 "2009-05-12T22:49:40Z")
Tvtropes groups these sorts of messages/lessons under the heading of [Family Unfriendly Aesop.](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FamilyUnfriendlyAesop) See also [Clueless Aesop,](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CluelessAesop?from=Main.IneptAesop) [Broken Aesop,](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BrokenAesop) [Fantastic Aesop,](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FantasticAesop) [Space Whale Aesop,](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SpaceWhaleAesop) and [Values Dissonance.](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ValuesDissonance) ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/36 "2009-05-12T22:50:10Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > Given the ten thousand movies and television shows in which nobody even brings up the possibility of abortion in a bad situation - talk about worst lessons and wrong messages - Carol’s advice is some of the best stuff ever. Or the situations where the person clearly wants to not be pregnant, but instead of abortion, a miscarriage is conveniently written in. Because women who miscarry are unfortunate paragons of virtue but women who choose to abort are evil harpies. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/37 "2009-05-12T22:51:49Z")
_Forrest Gump_ sends a clear message – and a very, very pernicious message when you think about it – that virtue is more important than intelligence, not on any abstract scale of values but in terms of achieving material success. Forrest Gump gets rich just because he always does the right thing and does what he’s told and works hard and deserves it and has God on his side (which obviously is why his is the only shrimping boat spared by the hurricane), while all around him more intelligent persons destroy their own lives and others’ by running after kicks and causes. The latter part of that is plausible, but not the former. Real-life Forrest Gumps never get rich save through connections or inheritance. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_the\_Turtle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_the_turtle/32/2926_2.png) [@Fear\_the\_Turtle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_the_Turtle)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/38 "2009-05-12T22:55:30Z")
**Meet Joe Black:** Girl meets boy in coffee shop, and despite being engaged, is attracted to the man because he is witty, charming, intelligent, charasmatic, whatever. Later she meets him again, but now he is a functional retard, a man-child who doesn’t know what peanut butter is. She still falls for him. **Moral:** It doesn’t matter what kind of personality you have as long as you look like Brad Pitt. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/39 "2009-05-12T23:01:30Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > \*\*Beauty and the Beast \*\*– stay with your abuser! There’s a good man in there! Also, don’t worry if you’re an ugly guy. Beautiful women will love you for who you are. If you’re a woman, though, you’d better be hot. Um…what version of Beauty & the Beast has that moral? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198/40 "2009-05-12T23:03:19Z")
> [@Push\_You\_Down](#): > > Shrek- If you are ugly the only other person who will love you is another ugly person. Shrek seems more like “Even persons who are not conventionally beautiful can find love, and they needn’t pretend to be other than what they are to do so.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-hollywood-gets-the-message-all-wrong-worst-lessons-from-tv-film/496198.md?page=3)