# When is it okay for a minister to tell their assistant to buy sex toys? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 29, 2017, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134 "2017-10-29T12:25:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2017, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/1 "2017-10-29T12:25:14Z")
Unless you’re researching them, pretty much never, right? So, resign already! Telegraph article [here](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/10/29/brexit-minister-sent-assistant-buy-sex-toys-will-investigated/); Guardian article [here](https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/oct/29/minister-mark-garnier-conservative-admits-asking-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys). > [@Guardian](#): > > The Cabinet Office is to investigate whether Mark Garnier broke the ministerial code after he admitted asking his former assistant to buy sex toys. > > Garnier, who is a minister in the Department for International Trade under Liam Fox, was the most senior of several politicians named in reports on Sunday, as allegations of sexual harassment swirl around Westminster amid the Harvey Weinstein scandal, which has encouraged women in other professions to come forward. > > The Conservative MP did not deny the accusations about events in 2010, made by his former assistant Caroline Edmondson in the Mail on Sunday. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2017, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/2 "2017-10-29T12:50:32Z")
“They never pay attention during my sermons. Well, the little heretics will pay attention during _this_ one!” ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2017, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/3 "2017-10-29T13:57:54Z")
You are married to them. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2017, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/4 "2017-10-29T15:19:22Z")
If the minister is unitarian I can see it happening. Especially if the unitarian sex ed program for the youth needs supplies. Our kids got a very sensible, matter of fact education about sex in the unitarian sex ed program. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2017, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/5 "2017-10-29T15:52:27Z")
Guys, the minister in question is a politician, not a member of the clergy. This is a British scandal, for which I thank the OP. It’s a pleasant diversion. In answer to the question posed, unless the two are in a consensual (emphasis on consensual) sexual relationship, or the Minister is prepping for a particularly rousing speech on his new Bill on restrictions on sex toys, now before the committee/Parliament, the answer is never. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2017, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/6 "2017-10-29T15:59:15Z")
I’m trying to work out some sort of Conservative whip/BDSM joke here… ---
**Author:** ![up\_the\_junction](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f1d935/32.png) [@up\_the\_junction](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/up_the_junction)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2017, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/7 "2017-10-29T18:16:16Z")
> [@](#): > > Edmondson said: “He suggested to me in a Commons bar one evening that we went shopping for sex toys in Soho. The next day, he said: ‘Come on, let’s do it.’ He took me to Soho and gave me the money to buy two vibrators. He stood outside the shop while I did.” Help me out; what are we being hysterical about - he asked, she agreed, they went to Soho, he waited outside Yes it’s a bit odd but I’m going out on a limb here by suggesting she could have said “No thanks”, at several points. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2017, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/8 "2017-10-29T19:37:00Z")
Why didn’t the guy just go in and buy them himself? It is lame for a teenage guy to make his girlfriend buy condoms instead of doing it himself, it is worse for an adult. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2017, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/9 "2017-10-29T20:07:56Z")
He could have ordered them. I guess it was an emergency need. Did she think they were for her benefit or something? I would’ve asked and answered!! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2017, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/10 "2017-10-29T20:49:36Z")
Oh, not a church minister. Well, that’s very different, then. NEVER MIND! ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2017, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/11 "2017-10-29T21:16:52Z")
The article refers to Edmondson (aka “sugar tits”) as a “former assistant”. Does that mean she is former now but active at the time of the purchase, or former at the time of the purchase? And what’s a Commons bar? Does this mean it was after hours? ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2017, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/12 "2017-10-29T21:29:21Z")
Garnier: You’re not going to believe this, but we have to test D-sized batteries. Apparently there is public concern over fire hazards. Edmondson: Oh dear. How are we to proceed with this? Garnier: There’s a dainty little adult shop around the corner. Run and pick up a few dozen personal massage units, won’t you? There’s a love. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2017, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/13 "2017-10-29T21:35:18Z")
> [@up\_the\_junction](#): > > Help me out; what are we being hysterical about - he asked, she agreed, they went to Soho, he waited outside > > Yes it’s a bit odd but I’m going out on a limb here by suggesting she could have said “No thanks”, at several points. The point is that he was a government minister, and he really shouldn’t be asking his assistant to buy sex toys at all, unless it was somehow genuinely work related. Yeah, she could have refused, but how would he have taken that? Would saying no be risking her job? These aren’t two friends, he’s her boss. It’s on him to act in a non-skeevy manner, and not put his staff in uncomfortably sexual situations for his own entertainment. If he wanted a vibrator for his wife (and one for a woman working at his constituency office, which is also a bit of a wtf) and he had the time and ability to go to the shop, why on earth would he need to involve another person? Crime of the century? No. Pretty skeevy and not the sort of thing a government minister should be doing? Well, yeah. I’m not seeing anyone getting hysterical, just people saying that’s pretty damn inappropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2017, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/14 "2017-10-29T22:19:12Z")
There is too many ways for him to get what he needed or wanted without involving his assistant. Was he doing it to intimidate her or to scare her. It is all gonna be contingent on how she felt he meant it. At most it seems crude and inappropriate. Imho. ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2017, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/15 "2017-10-30T04:18:54Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > The article refers to Edmondson (aka “sugar tits”) as a “former assistant”. Does that mean she is former now but active at the time of the purchase, or former at the time of the purchase? And what’s a Commons bar? Does this mean it was after hours? Presumably it’s the same as the bar in the Canadian House of Commons. > [@House of Commons Procedure and Practice](#): > > The Bar is a brass rod extending across the floor of the Chamber inside its south entrance. It is a barrier past which uninvited representatives of the Crown (as well as other non‑Members) are not welcome. The Sergeant‑at‑Arms, or an assistant, sits at a desk on the opposition side of the Chamber and inside the Bar. > > Individuals may be summoned to appear before the Bar of the House in order to answer to the authority of the House. If someone is judged to be in contempt of the House—that is, guilty of an offence against the dignity or authority of Parliament—the House may summon the person to appear and order that he or she be reprimanded by the Speaker in the name of and with the full authority of the House. On a number of occasions in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, individuals were summoned to appear before the Bar of the House. Since 1913, there have been only two instances of the House requiring someone to appear at the Bar to be reprimanded. > > On occasion, individuals may be summoned to the Bar for reasons other than to be admonished by the Speaker. Witnesses to be examined by the House may stand at the Bar and reply to questions posed by Members. As well, the House may call individuals to the Bar in order to pay tribute to them. I doubt that the House wishes to pay tribute to the Honourable Minister. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2017, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/16 "2017-10-30T05:41:18Z")
From the Telegraph article. > [@](#): > > The Mail said Mr Garnier had admitted the claims, saying: “I’m not going to deny it, because I’m not going to be dishonest. I’m going to have to take it on the chin.” Hmmmm. Someone needs to provide a diagram of how and where to use vibrators because chins aren’t it. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Feldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lord_feldon/32/341_2.png) [@Lord\_Feldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Feldon)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2017, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/17 "2017-10-30T05:46:21Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > And what’s a Commons bar? Both houses of Parliament maintain several such establishments on their premises, for both members and staff. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2017, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/18 "2017-10-30T07:02:56Z")
You made that up, right? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2017, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/19 "2017-10-30T08:08:59Z")
It was all just a big misunderstanding. He needed to pick up a loaf of pickled bread for his wife and so asked his assistant to go get a dill dough. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2017, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/20 "2017-10-30T10:00:50Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > And what’s a Commons bar? A pub. There’s quite a few watering-holes in the Palace of Westminster for politicians, staff, journalists etc [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134.md?page=2)