# When is it okay for a minister to tell their assistant to buy sex toys? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 29, 2017, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134 "2017-10-29T12:25:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2017, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/21 "2017-10-30T12:36:09Z")
Only on the show “Yes, yes, YES, minister!” ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2017, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/22 "2017-10-31T17:45:45Z")
> [@up\_the\_junction](#): > > Help me out; what are we being hysterical about - he asked, she agreed, they went to Soho, he waited outside > > Yes it’s a bit odd but I’m going out on a limb here by suggesting she could have said “No thanks”, at several points. Seriously? :rolleyes: She shouldn’t have to say no thanks. That’s pretty much the whole reason why sexual harassment is generally disfavored; it often results in people doing things they don’t want to do because they are afraid of negative employment consequences. She could also have said, “no thanks” if he asked her for a blowjob. The fact that she didn’t doesn’t mean it’s appropriate behavior in the context of an employment relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2017, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/23 "2017-10-31T18:10:59Z")
Well, it seems there’s a juicy scandal emerging: the Tories have a [list of 36](https://order-order.com/2017/10/29/tory-aides-spreadsheet-names-36-sex-pest-mps/) of their number engaged in inappropriate behaviour. And then there’s Labour. Jared O’Mara is apparently just the tip of the iceberg. ---
**Author:** ![up\_the\_junction](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f1d935/32.png) [@up\_the\_junction](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/up_the_junction)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2017, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/24 "2017-10-31T18:44:29Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Seriously? :rolleyes: > > She shouldn’t have to say no thanks. That’s pretty much the whole reason why sexual harassment is generally disfavored; it often results in people doing things they don’t want to do because they are afraid of negative employment consequences. > > She could also have said, “no thanks” if he asked her for a blowjob. The fact that she didn’t doesn’t mean it’s appropriate behavior in the context of an employment relationship. The discussion is about shopping for sex toys alone for a wife, not propositioning an employee for oral sex. Again, less of the hysteria, please. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2017, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/25 "2017-10-31T19:00:35Z")
> [@up\_the\_junction](#): > > The discussion is about shopping for sex toys alone for a wife, not propositioning an employee for oral sex. > > Again, less of the hysteria, please. Post 13 covers this ---
**Author:** ![up\_the\_junction](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f1d935/32.png) [@up\_the\_junction](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/up_the_junction)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2017, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/26 "2017-10-31T19:24:31Z")
No it doesn’t. The post here tries to introduce an equivalence with requesting oral sex. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2017, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/27 "2017-10-31T19:47:35Z")
No, it uses oral sex as an example. There is appropriate workplace behavior and inappropriate workplace behavior. Is asking someone to go dildo shopping the same as asking for oral sex? Of course not. But it’s on the same continuum. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2017, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/28 "2017-10-31T22:05:24Z")
And both are unacceptable. ---
**Author:** ![up\_the\_junction](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f1d935/32.png) [@up\_the\_junction](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/up_the_junction)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2017, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/29 "2017-10-31T22:34:45Z")
On behalf of all concerned we appreciate your judgment on behalf of the internet. It’s been a very worthwhile exercise. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2017, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/30 "2017-11-01T19:58:36Z")
The Defence Secretary is down, the Defence Secretary is down Michael Fallon resigns, citing his past behaviour. > **[Sir Michael Fallon resigns, saying his conduct 'fell short'](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-41838682)** > > Defence Secretary Sir Michael Fallon resigns, saying past personal behaviour is "not acceptable now". ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2017, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/31 "2017-11-01T20:01:06Z")
Good. How many will follow his example? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2017, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/32 "2017-11-01T22:32:18Z")
> [@up\_the\_junction](#): > > On behalf of all concerned we appreciate your judgment on behalf of the internet. It’s been a very worthwhile exercise. He’s just voicing what all of us were saying. You on the other hand were deliberately trying not to get it. You were downplaying the sexual part of being required to get sex toys, ignoring how consent works with your boss, and then jumping on a specific phrase rather than understanding the point. Making someone under you go buy you sex toys is inappropriate. Hence why the guy is having to resign. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2017, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/33 "2017-11-01T23:30:57Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Hence why the guy is having to resign. Different guy who resigned today. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/34 "2017-11-02T02:29:00Z")
If the guy thought he might be recognized, I can see why he didn’t want to buy it himself. But it just goes to show what happens whey high officials are not computer literate. If he ordered it from Amazon UK or one of a large number of online sex stores, none of this would have happened. ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/35 "2017-11-02T09:08:46Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > If the guy thought he might be recognized, I can see why he didn’t want to buy it himself. But it just goes to show what happens whey high officials are not computer literate. If he ordered it from Amazon UK or one of a large number of online sex stores, none of this would have happened. He’s not some poor techno-naif just trying to get by as best he can in a confusing world. He wasn’t asking his young female subordinate to buy sex toys for his wife and mistress, then _accompanying her to the shop to oversee the purchase_, because he didn’t know how Amazon worked. He did it for the thrill. This shit is always about power. The power to “ask” his young researcher to go to a sex shop, when almost any other boss in the UK wouldn’t or couldn’t. The knowledge she didn’t have the power to say no. The masterful feeling of making her play a part in his sex life. The thrill of being untouchable… ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/36 "2017-11-02T15:26:22Z")
> [@up\_the\_junction](#): > > On behalf of all concerned we appreciate your judgment on behalf of the internet. On behalf of everyone else, your lack of judgment - whether real or feigned - is not appreciated. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/37 "2017-11-02T20:53:11Z")
Labour MP Kelvin Hopkins has been [suspended](http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-41853430) from the Labour Party. As a contemporary of Margaret Moran, I’m not surprised. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/38 "2017-11-02T21:50:47Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > As a contemporary of Margaret Moran, I’m not surprised. Eh? Please explain -are you lumping in together all the 1997 intake or something? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/39 "2017-11-02T21:55:26Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > I’m trying to work out some sort of Conservative whip/BDSM joke here… And I’m trying to think of a proper British safe word. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134/40 "2017-11-02T22:18:37Z")
Googling it appears “Houses” might be a candidate. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-for-a-minister-to-tell-their-assistant-to-buy-sex-toys/800134.md?page=3)