# When is it okay to call a woman a slut?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [July 23, 2014, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883 "2014-07-23T22:32:22Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 4
### Author:  [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2014, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/61 "2014-07-24T22:51:17Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#):
>
> An enlightened, sex-positive man is one who returns home from work yet again to find his preschool-age children unattended and unfed in a filthy house, and when his wife arrives late that night, intoxicated and without her underwear, says to her “you negligent mother!”
Who the fuck lets that happen “yet again”?!
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### Author:  [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2014, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/62 "2014-07-24T23:20:34Z")
> [@Emiliana](#):
>
> Why would you feel the need to call any woman a slut? It’s not polite, it’s not helpful, it’s not meaningful, it’s not particularly insightful or interesting. Ditto for whatever terms are used for men.
Sometimes being polite isn’t an issue. As an insult slut is rather decent one, not intensely profane, and a comment on someone’s actions rather than their state of being.
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### Author:  [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)
#### Post date: [July 24, 2014, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/63 "2014-07-24T23:26:59Z")
> [@marshmallow](#):
>
> Because it’s really satisfying to heap social opprobrium on those you dislike. And to enforce shared community standards. Pretty much the point of half the internet, including this very message board. You should go around to pit threads and copy-paste this post, just changing “slut” to whatever the insult is. I guess not everyone has ascended to your level of sainthood yet.
Did I inadvertently pee on your cornflakes?
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### Author:  [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2014, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/64 "2014-07-25T04:43:11Z")
I understand people who say it’s never okay, but it’s clear that it bothers people more in some situations than others. While I see some defenses of Hilton in the thread in question, no one seems to be freaking out about the “slut” label itself. The closest is one person who alleges it is due to jealousy.
So I think the OP’s question is, at what point does society stop caring that someone is being called a slut?
If Hilton is any example, it’s when they are famous and a “slutty” image is what made them famous. And it’s also when the person in question owns it as a label.
As for my own opinion, I don’t think you will convince people that there is nothing wrong with being overly focused on sex to the exclusion of even “fucky buddy” level relationships (or however people are defining the term nowadays). If you want equality, it’s more practical to start using the term for (straight) men as well.
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### Author:  [@Rala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rala)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2014, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/65 "2014-07-25T09:42:40Z")
In bed, if she’s told you she’s into that, or in jest, with a friend you don’t think will be offended (unless she indicates that she’s uncomfortable, then it’s not OK anymore).
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### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2014, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/66 "2014-07-25T10:51:33Z")
> [@BigT](#):
>
> I understand people who say it’s never okay, but it’s clear that it bothers people more in some situations than others.
One should never call one’s mother, daughter, or sister a slut. All fair game other than that.
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### Author:  [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2014, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/67 "2014-07-25T11:07:18Z")
What’s the deal with all the people who think the term can be applied to a man? I’ve only ever seen Jim Theis do that before this thread.
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### Author:  [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2014, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/68 "2014-07-25T11:16:34Z")
> [@E-DUB](#):
>
> When you get up to wash your face, and you come back to bed and someone’s taken your place.
No, that’s when you call her “Cecilia.”
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### Author:  [@MostlyClueless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MostlyClueless)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2014, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/69 "2014-07-25T11:20:02Z")
When you need absolutely _everyone_ to know how unsatisfying your own sex life is, and that you believe taking it out on other people will somehow improve this situation.
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### Author:  [@Stringbean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringbean)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2014, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/70 "2014-07-25T15:59:34Z")
I knew a girl in college that got busted having sex in the public, male-only shower room of some guy’s dorm. She also made her boyfriend’s roommate move out of their house because she was so loud during sex.
That girl’s a slut. No shame. No class. Slut. And it’s okay for me to call her a slut, because I don’t impose my lack of sexual grace on others and force them to alter their behavior.
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### Author:  [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2014, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/71 "2014-07-25T17:48:54Z")
If [the woman in this story](http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/magaluf-girl-video-spanish-mayor-3805665) isn’t a slut then the word is meaningless and should be retired immediately.
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### Author:  [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2014, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/72 "2014-07-25T18:05:34Z")
> [@sciurophobic](#):
>
> If [the woman in this story](http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/magaluf-girl-video-spanish-mayor-3805665) isn’t a slut then the word is meaningless and should be retired immediately.
The fact that acts of depravity occur somewhere in the world really has no bearing on the conversation going in in this thread
But, thanks for sharing, I guess.
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### Author:  [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2014, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/73 "2014-07-25T18:23:41Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#):
>
> if she asks you to
NO! Only when she emphatically demands and begs that you do. 😃
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### Author:  [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2014, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/74 "2014-07-25T19:48:22Z")
> [@leftfield6](#):
>
> The fact that acts of depravity occur somewhere in the world really has no bearing on the conversation going in in this thread
>
> But, thanks for sharing, I guess.
We are discussing the meaning of the word “slut”. I gave an example of a woman whose behavior would most likely qualify under even the most stringent definition of the word. How does it have no bearing?
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### Author:  [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2014, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/75 "2014-07-25T20:02:03Z")
> [@sciurophobic](#):
>
> We are discussing the meaning of the word “slut”. I gave an example of a woman whose behavior would most likely qualify under even the most stringent definition of the word. How does it have no bearing?
For the same reason it’s never okay to call a black person “uppity” even if that individual is exhibiting behavior that is entitled and presumptive well beyond normal social bounds.
“Slut” is a word that originates in the still widely held belief that sexual behavior that is unremarkable, or even laudable, in a man, suggests a deep character flaw in any woman. To use the word, even with a different personal definition, is to continue and extend an attitude that is pretty offensive. It’s not about whether or not the “bad” woman deserves to be called a slut… It’s whether or not the rest of us deserve to live in a world where the idea that having any sex at all makes a woman dirty still has currency.
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### Author:  [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2014, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/76 "2014-07-25T21:24:11Z")
To answer the OP:
When your medical insurance is paid up.
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### Author:  [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2014, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/77 "2014-07-25T21:58:13Z")
> [@sciurophobic](#):
>
> We are discussing the meaning of the word “slut”. I gave an example of a woman whose behavior would most likely qualify under even the most stringent definition of the word. How does it have no bearing?
What MandaJO says above.
And I’ll add: when the same sensationalistic article refers to the men involved as something male equivalent. No wait, actually not even then. Your article does not help define or move the conversation forward, it just provides a little titillation.
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### Author:  [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2014, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/78 "2014-07-25T22:17:32Z")
When the woman weighs over 300lbs but is trying way, way too hard to look sexy?
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### Author:  [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2014, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/79 "2014-07-25T23:07:18Z")
> [@leftfield6](#):
>
> What MandaJO says above.
>
> And I’ll add: when the same sensationalistic article refers to the men involved as something male equivalent. No wait, actually not even then. Your article does not help define or move the conversation forward, it just provides a little titillation.
If you’re going to argue that it is wrong to value a woman based on her choice of sexual behavior then it is hypocritical for you to pass moral judgment on the event in question by calling it an “act of depravity.” Unless you consider the depravity to exist solely with the men, in which case we’ll end up with an unnecessary digression in sexual power and gender politics, which I don’t want to do.
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### Author:  [@Subterraneanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subterraneanus)
#### Post date: [July 25, 2014, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-it-okay-to-call-a-woman-a-slut/693883/80 "2014-07-25T23:32:58Z")
When she’s really, really good at it.
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