# When is sexism okay? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 19, 2009, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037 "2009-03-19T16:27:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 29
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/561 "2009-03-27T15:19:47Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > I guess when I had a woman whistle at me way back in college, or girls try to chat me up, or flirt with me, or (gasp!) pick me up for sex, I was victimized. > Not knowing how to properly respond (with outrage), I just went on with my day if I chose not to take them up on their offers. Looking back, with what I’ve been taught here, I’m not sure how I found the strength to endure it. Speaking of vacuums… this has all the weight of a white American telling a black friend that she should get over racial slurs and is paranoid about being followed in stores because ‘Once someone called me a cracker and I just brushed it off.’ I don’t care what the nursery rhyme says words often do hurt, especially when they contain an implied threat. You just. Don’t. Get. It. Being yelled at on the street is only part of the problem (and the fact that it’s pretty common and barely raises a brow is pathetic – you really think [all the women](http://hollabacknyc.blogspot.com/) who feel like shit afterwards are just hypersensitive?), and those million steps in between aren’t what a good man takes to become a rapist or whatever, they’re what messages girls and woman internalize – what they consider the price of being a woman (and yes, sometimes that includes rape i.e. date rape, often, spousal rape before it was made illegal in the US in the '80s and '90s). ‘Laugh at his jokes, he’ll like you more. Sexist jokes? Those are okay. be a good sport. The boss is making them? Laugh harder. At your expense? Don’t be a prude. Now he’s touching you? Brush it off…’ (Sorry if I killed the love-in. It threw me for a loop after that page of hysterical 'shut the fuck up’s.) ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/562 "2009-03-27T15:53:12Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > ‘Laugh at his jokes, he’ll like you more. Sexist jokes? Those are okay. be a good sport. The boss is making them? Laugh harder. At your expense? Don’t be a prude. Now he’s touching you? Brush it off…’ I had no idea you worked on Madison Avenue, circa 1960! Love your show, by the way. That buxom redhead with the _mm-mmmph_! Wait… tell me that’s not _you_. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/563 "2009-03-27T20:24:06Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > Speaking of vacuums… this has all the weight of a white American telling a black friend that she should get over racial slurs and is paranoid about being followed in stores because ‘Once someone called me a cracker and I just brushed it off.’ Well, yes, speaking of vacuums if you ignore actual history and pretend that women are in any way fungible with a group who endured slavery and lynchings and that like the word “nigger”, being called a “bitch” might just be a prelude to mob violence against you, you’d have a point. Luckily enough, this isn’t taking place in a vacuum. And, luckily enough, I’ve already specifically delineated simple flirting from law breaking and/or threatening behavior directed towards women. Good job also attempting to conflate rude flirting with actual sexism and sexual harassment in the workplace. And I have no idea about how many of the women in your linked page o’ Victims were hypersensitive, but quite a few certainly were. Why don’t you point out that stories which you feel constituted an actual risk to a woman’s life/health/safety, like the word “nigger!”, or “faggot!” would indicate when directed at a black or a gay person? Nothing leaps out at me front the front page, although some were certainly rude. Bonus points, though, for using the word “hysterical” as an insult and to allege that my behavior was just, outa control! Ayieeeeeeee! You don’t know its etymology, do you? Are you ~sobs~, Victimizing me? [ > [@](#): > > 1615, from L. hystericus “of the womb,” from Gk. hysterikos “of the womb, suffering in the womb,” from hystera “womb” (see uterus). Originally defined as a neurotic condition peculiar to women and thought to be caused by a dysfunction of the uterus. Hysterics is 1727; hysteria, abstract noun from hysteric, first recorded 1801 as a medical term. ]([Hysterical - Etymology, Origin & Meaning](http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=hysterical)) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/564 "2009-03-27T20:32:18Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Bonus points, though, for using the word “hysterical” as an insult and to allege that my behavior was just, outa control! Ayieeeeeeee! You don’t know its etymology, do you? > Are you ~sobs~, Victimizing me? Really?? Thanks so much for sorting me out. But did you have to be so shrill? I don’t know how old you are or where you live, but unless you’re living under a rock (and even then it’d have to be in Sweden), you are delusional and will likely never change. Ho hum. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/565 "2009-03-27T20:51:35Z")
I love it. I pointed out that the term you used to senselessly insult me had amazingly strong sexists roots, and your response is to call me “shrill”. Come see the violence inherent in the system! And, simply for the record, my question was : > [@](#): > > Why don’t you point out that stories which you feel constituted an actual risk to a woman’s life/health/safety, like the word “nigger!”, or “faggot!” would indicate when directed at a black or a gay person? Nothing leaps out at me front the front page, although some were certainly rude. I take it that you’ve totally sidestepped that question in favor of gratuitous and non sequitor personal insults, that you’re admitting that you have absolutely no case and can’t even pretend to support your position by doing anything other than slinging ad hom fallacies. You cannot, in fact, point to any danger to life, health, or safety in the site you’ve linked to. And, of course, when asked for factual support for your claims, your response instead is to simply claim I just don’t get it, due to being so very delusional. Because, I’m sure, if I don’t agree that rude flirting is Victimization and a big ol’ deal, why, there must be something mentally wrong with me. Mental health is defined as agreeing with you, and agreeing with those who agree with you. We can get rid of the DSM IV, I suppose. We can replace all entries with “Does not agree with Cat Fight. Also: asks Cat Fight to support her claims.” Good show. Your willingness to voice extraneous personal insults has totally convinced me of the cogent, coherent and factually supported nature of your claims. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2009, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/566 "2009-03-27T21:39:02Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > slinging ad hom fallacies… gratuitous and non sequitor personal insults… Your willingness to voice extraneous personal insults… Bwahaha! Oh the fucking IRONY. This gave me the best laugh I’ve had all day, if not all week. People in glass houses and all that. But you know, I guess I deserved to be called a stupid cow who should just shut the fuck up (x100), whereas you? Shrill? Hysterical? Such insults are _beyond the pale_! Hypersensitive much? Maybe you need a thicker skin… ---
**Author:** ![Jeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2009, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/567 "2009-03-28T02:08:21Z")
I absolutely refuse to search back through this turd of a thread, but has anyone brought terrorists or Nazis up yet? Because that is possibly the only thing anyone could do to make this thread more ridiculous than it already is. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2009, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/568 "2009-03-28T02:15:28Z")
> [@Jeff](#): > > has anyone brought terrorists Nope. > [@Jeff](#): > > or Nazis ~Raises hand~ Much like flirters and rapists both say that their victims were asking for it, Nazis and democrats both want political power. Ya know, just one of them thar totally innocent comparisons. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2009, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/569 "2009-03-28T05:11:24Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Much like flirters and rapists both say that their victims were asking for it, Nazis and democrats both want political power. > > Ya know, just one of them thar totally innocent comparisons. I know. Isn’t it funny that you were the only one making such comparisons? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037.md?page=28)