# When is sexism okay? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 19, 2009, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037 "2009-03-19T16:27:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/61 "2009-03-19T18:13:23Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > This is one of those classic cases where someone asks you NOT to think of something and therefore it’s all you can think about. > > Anyone besides me been thinking about her boobs this whole time? I’m thinking about pink elephants. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/62 "2009-03-19T18:16:05Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > This is one of those classic cases where someone asks you NOT to think of something and therefore it’s all you can think about. > > Anyone besides me been thinking about her boobs this whole time? Pig. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/63 "2009-03-19T18:17:04Z")
> [@Dante](#): > > Will the thread asplode if we ask for pics of **DiosaBellissima** big ol’ rack? In return I will post a picture of me in pants which lift and separate my enormous man berries. No cite. Do not want. ---
**Author:** ![dba\_Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c37758/32.png) [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/64 "2009-03-19T18:18:35Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > This is one of those classic cases where someone asks you NOT to think of something and therefore it’s all you can think about. > > Anyone besides me been thinking about her boobs this whole time? I would have lay back and thought of England but **TL** may be there and I wish to cause on further problem. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/65 "2009-03-19T18:18:46Z")
> [@Dan\_Norder](#): > > As far as this thread goes, WTF. Is there never a Pit thread where people attack the original poster? If we’re willing to forgive clueless sexist people who meant no harm we should be equally understanding to people who maybe don’t handle perceived sexism and actual sexism as well as the perfect standard some here seem to demand. I see an awful lot of people wanting to discuss the issue and offer another way to see the issue, and a few people being a little aggressive. This is not a pile-on. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/66 "2009-03-19T18:19:00Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > Pig. Just because of that I’m going to think about YOUR BOOBS too! ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/67 "2009-03-19T18:26:15Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > No cite. > > Do not want. Well, I’m about 50 lbs. overweight, so perhaps a nice litho of my man-boobs? My nipples are extra hairy… ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/68 "2009-03-19T18:29:29Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > Just because of that I’m going to think about YOUR BOOBS too! This is why I never mention my spectacular boobs in public. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/69 "2009-03-19T18:39:28Z")
> [@Tracy\_Lord](#): > > This makes no sense to me. Why would you do that? Because, being the internet, you’ll find that even on a board supposedly dedicated to fighting ignorance, you still have people with minimal social graces and argumentative streaks. Throw in a boob reference and its off to the races. Yeehaw. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/70 "2009-03-19T18:40:30Z")
Y’know, it could also be worse. People could be actively doubting the amazingness of **Tracy’s** boobs, like they openly disparage or accuse of lies any guy who talks about having a bigger-than-average wang in every thread I’ve seen on the topic. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/71 "2009-03-19T18:43:53Z")
> [@Jeff](#): > > Because, being the internet, you’ll find that even on a board supposedly dedicated to fighting ignorance, you still have people with minimal social graces and argumentative streaks. > > Throw in a boob reference and its off to the races. Yeehaw. I feel that if you’re going to scorn people for having “minimal social graces” (whatever the fuck that means), you should start with the person who decided to throw in a totally and completely gratuitous waist-n-boobs reference into a cleaning thread. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/72 "2009-03-19T18:44:39Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > Y’know, it could also be worse. People could be actively doubting the amazingness of **Tracy’s** boobs, like they openly disparage or accuse of lies any guy who talks about having a bigger-than-average wang in every thread I’ve seen on the topic. I used to know a guy who claimed to be 11 inches long flaccid, and said he was even bigger when he was erect. So I asked to see it. He cried, “That’s gay!” I replied, “I don’t want to touch it, suck it, or have it inside me. I just want you to prove that you’re telling the truth.” Such as it is with **Tracy’s** (and now **Jodi’s** ) boobs. Fantastic claims require evidence. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/73 "2009-03-19T18:45:22Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > This is why I never mention my spectacular boobs in public. They probably speak for themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/74 "2009-03-19T18:46:06Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > I feel that if you’re going to scorn people for having “minimal social graces” (whatever the fuck that means), you should start with the person who decided to throw in a totally and completely gratuitous waist-n-boobs reference into a cleaning thread. Yes, because in my clear effort to actively point fingers at specific people I totally missed out on that one. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/75 "2009-03-19T18:56:46Z")
> [@Jeff](#): > > Yes, because in my clear effort to actively point fingers at specific people I totally missed out on that one. It’s not only possible but plausible that I misread the intent of your posting. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/76 "2009-03-19T19:03:46Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > It’s not only possible but plausible that I misread the intent of your posting. No problem. > [@dba\_Fred](#): > > Why do you think I signed on? For the squid? 😕 > 😃 Mine was promised but never delivered. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Baroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/76d3ee/32.png) [@Billy\_Baroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Baroo)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/77 "2009-03-19T19:06:47Z")
Regarding the white shirt, I can TOTALLY relate. My favorite video camera makes my cock look like a baby’s arm. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/78 "2009-03-19T19:19:32Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > This is why I never mention my spectacular boobs in public. It’s better to let them speak for themselves. 😉 My friend and I had one of those great moments of double-entendres where we just went one after another for like a minute and a half last night. All about revering the glory of well the glory of something. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dba\_Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c37758/32.png) [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/79 "2009-03-19T19:29:46Z")
> [@Dan\_Norder](#): > > Regarding the first thread, if you bring up boobs, expecting people not to pick up on that mention and bring it up is a little silly. A reply can be good natured and well intentioned, because lots of women don’t mind or even encourage others to talk about their breasts. If you don’t, then no fault say sorry, you’re not comfortable going in that direction. If it persists after that (with some minor leeway given to just socially clueless guys a chance to do right), then it’s a problem. > > Second thread, yeah, mentioning boobs from another thread is creepy. And you were trying politely to get him off of that. Then he persisted. He might just be extremely clueless, but it was sexist at that point. But I think you handled it well there, saying you thought it was creepy. Moderators were right to step in. Problem should have been solved at that point. > **Yes, I’ll be defensive. I posted (#11), she posted (#13), I came back (#14), she asked me to stop (#15) and except for a post (#41) about something else (an OP thread Mahna Mahna referenced [#39]), I haven’t posted in that thread. So where did I persist? > So mentioning something a person has previously posted in another is out of bounds? When did that rule go into effect? See Mahna Mahna’s #39 in the “_Wow, our new hire is my dream guy_” thread.** > > As far as this thread goes, WTF. Is there never a Pit thread where people attack the original poster? If we’re willing to forgive clueless sexist people who meant no harm we should be equally understanding to people who maybe don’t handle perceived sexism and actual sexism as well as the perfect standard some here seem to demand. > > Meanwhile, dba Fred has gone from creepy and possibly merely clueless to just a total asshole for not apologizing for the offense. Unless you intended to offend, being such a jerk about it makes no sense. Any claims to being a reasonable person goes out the window at that point. > \*\*I’m offended by your post; I’ve told you it offended me, thus should you apologize for offending me? I won’t hold my breath, I’ve gottten over it already, life happens. \*\* > > As far as the total fuckheads saying “get used to it or get the fuck out” or the like – how about you wastes of sperm get the hell off a board that’s supposed to be combating ignorance instead of indignantly wallowing in it? And I notice it’s largely the same idiots who cause problems in other threads with their desire to spread their incompetence around. It’s almost like they are, gosh, purposefully trying to be obnoxious on every thread they can or something? Isn’t there a name for that? Several names, really… > **“… wastes of sperm” is like totally sexist, there was a waste of an ovum, too!** > > Continuing unwanted sexual attention is harassment. There are plenty enough threads (or other boards for that matter) where that kind of attention is accepted and even wanted, so there’s no need to derail other threads with it. You will of course, be point out the continuing unwanted sexual attention rising to harassment, won’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Joe\_Meager](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bb73d2/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Joe\_Meager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Joe_Meager)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2009, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037/80 "2009-03-19T19:32:27Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > This is why I never mention my spectacular boobs in public. You just did. Now is this thread going to be about \*your \*boobs? I thought it was about **TL** ’s boobs. I’m so confused… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-is-sexism-okay/490037.md?page=5)