“Hi, my name is
IHSOUS XPISTOS” ?
To give a serious answer, I firmly believe that He will return in one form or another, and not in the Rapture/clouds of glory thingie, either. And those who want to know Him will know Him by how He behaves. (Now see post #11.)
I can understand why Christians are very much against abortion: what if their savior is aborted? That would throw a wrench into the works. 
If he turned up in the USA, and started in with that ‘turn the other cheek’ and ‘Peace on earth’ talk, chances are Bush would either send him to Guantanemo
or deport him.
“She” will probably be Lesbian and an ecologist… so beware Bush ! 
On a more serious note… I think the Vatican and Televangelists will be mighty worried if Jezuz does return. Like the last time the establishment will kill “Jesus” and the people will cheer on as always.
(I’m an atheist… so its only conjecture of course. )
Isn’t Jesus supposed to be the son of God? You’d think that of all people, with God as your dad you’d be able to buy your way out of any sort of trouble. Ergo, the real Jesus would be that one nutcase who keeps claiming that he’s Jesus, but regardless of what cell they throw him in for mischief, disturbing the peace, or what institution he may be involuntarily committed to, always gets out to stand on the street corner the very next day.
No, it will not be pie.
It will be angel food cake…
I can see that this was likely tongue-in-cheek, but I know that many Christians are not against abortion. 
Polycarp, surely you know the need to add the appropriate disclaimer when writing His name!
Do NOT attempt to speak His name, for without context you will mispronounce it, and THAT pisses Him off.
No.
Pork chops. <kudos to Carlin>
Kinda. But I was thinking that it would be a little more formal. Like:
The familiarity implied with “Hi” seems unbecoming, somehow.
I don’t think it will be about whether or not we know Him. It will be about whether or not He knows us. There will be those, who will see that He is the Son of God, and will say, “We did not know you!” And yet, those same ones will hear that He knew them, from the time when they fed Him, and gave Him comfort. And there will be others who will know Him, and proclaim Him, but He will not know them, for they turned away from Him when He was hungry, and thirsted.
The sheep do not find the Shepherd; they are found by Him.
Tris
“You play the part of the forgiven sinner. It’s not a speaking part.” ~ Anonymous ~
Like he just came from an AA meeting.
On a side note, I think it’s interesting, probably a significant number of his followers probably couldn’t pronounce that, nor do they know what it means. :smack:
Unless it’s one of those Flatland moments; Having returned from the third dimension Mr Square can’t point to the place where he’s been, from which all sides of a polygon are visible at once.
I’ll be honest. I can’t pretend I’ll recognize Him. After all, He snuck by us once a couple of thousand years ago. I hope He’ll recognize me, but I’m with Happy Scrappy Hero Pup. Let’s enjoy this world for a few millenia longer.
CJ
Actually, wouldn’t the name be Yeshua ha’Machiach (maybe with a ben-Yosef or ben-David thrown in)?
I’m all for a Appearing In the Sky returning-Jesus. The idea of JC Reincarnate is totally non-BIblical.
It sure isn’t in correspondence with the general explications of the eschatological prophecies.
But tell me, in your opinion, why is it that zev steinhart and cmkeller, two men of great devotion to God, do not accept Jesus?
The answer that I have is that, in their considered view, what He did while here did not fulfill the expectations that Judaism had, and has, for the Messiah. In short, He didn’t fix everything, bring in the Kingdom of righteousness and peace, mete out the just desserts due those who oppressed and harmed His people…
And that’s exactly what Sunday School told me that Jesus is gonna do when He comes back.
He didn’t do it the first time – instead, He taught how to love, how to rise above the problems of this world and be a moral, caring person in a less-than-moral-and-caring world, and finally, how to give all of yourself for the benefit of others.
And the Pharisees rejected Him because He wasn’t doing what they “knew” the Messiah was supposed to do.
“He who refuses to learn from history is doomed to repeat it.”
Big difference- we can go to the Hebrew Scriptures & see two strains of prophecy- one of a Ruling Davidic King Messiah and one of a Suffering Servant. Can you find in the New Testament any indication of Jesus returning incognito? I certainly believe that through the Holy Spirit, Jesus can anoint particular people & groups to manifest Him in extraordinary ways, but less-than-Apocalyptic Personal Returns? Only way I could reconcile that with the Bible is if I held to a Full Preterist view that all Apocalyptic Prophecy was fulfilled in 70 A.D. & that we are now spiritually in the New Creation.
My biggest problem- Jesus warns against future “Christs” who have small-scale “hidden” returns in His Olivet Discourse.
The descending on a white horse from the sky with a sword hanging out of his mouth might be a clue. Or maybe the point is that nobody knows it’s him until he upends reality & tosses the unbelievers into Hell. (Ah, the nightmares of my childhood. I envied those who could hope for the peace of annihilation after death.)
Nah, Randi would show it was just a trick.
He’ll be the one who walks up to Bush, slaps him across the face, and says “not in my name you don’t”.