# When lawyers think of pro se plaintiffs...
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [October 28, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691 "2010-10-28T18:22:59Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/1 "2010-10-28T18:22:59Z")
Often it’s imagining something like [this sweet guy:](http://kevinunderhill.typepad.com/Documents/Pleadings/ass_clown_petition.pdf)
> [@Paul Hupp](#):
>
> This proceeding involves several issues of great importance, including several Constitutional issues that are of first impression nationwide. Issues so important that the Unites States of America intervened into the case to defend them.
>
> Second, let Plaintiff make this very clear hear and now at the beginning of this petition-this Court is now on notice that public will no longer tolerate violations of the Constitution, by the Congress or the judges/judiciary that think they can rig the system, violating basic constitutional rights (such as due process of law) and engage in these acts with impunity.
>
> Plaintiff has news for these slime ball, piece of shit, ass clown judges (Bowie, Canby, Thomas and Fletcher-this means you) that think they are going to rig the system and railroad the poor and innocent- such as blocking the discovery process so the poor cannot defend themselves, commit perjury in their orders and a host of other constitutional violations, and do it with impunity- that is simply not going to happen in this case. You cock suckers are now on notice.
---
### Author:  [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/2 "2010-10-28T18:34:17Z")
I would so like to see more affidavits and motions like this. Would make them quite entertaining.
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### Author:  [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/3 "2010-10-28T18:51:46Z")
Further down:
> [@](#):
>
> As stated earlier , the Court will address these issues ,or there will be civil unrest. Civil unrest that is going to **start at the doorsteps** of the slime ball, piece of shit judges that thought they were going to violate the constitutional rights of the innocent and poor with impunity.
>
> When the Courts don’t follow the law, then there is no law. With no 1aw you have nothing but anarchy and chaos, and then it is just a battle for survival. If that is what this Court wants, then that is what is is going to get.
>
> This Court better remember that, because it is a fact of history, and nothing is going to change that. The decision of this Court on June 7, 2010 is a disgrace that is simply not going to stand unopposed with impunity for the slime ball judges who wrote that decision.
Power to the People! I’d sure like to be a fly on the courtoom wall during _that_ trial.
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### Author:  [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/4 "2010-10-28T19:01:50Z")
We got a pro se petition once written partially in crayon. For real. And not from a jail cell either - just a regular ordinary citizen, absolutely in command of his faculties, who thought it might please the court to be addressed in crayon. Ok, even imagining for a moment he has no access to a computer (which is impossible, because there are computers people can use at the _public law library_), would it kill him to pick up a pen?
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### Author:  [@Rumor\_Watkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rumor_Watkins)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/5 "2010-10-28T19:07:17Z")
we think that their arguments are…
\*\*Wrong bitches. \*\*[sic]
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### Author:  [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/6 "2010-10-28T19:23:34Z")
I’ve recenlty receieved a document from a self-rep who sealed it with his fingerprint.
In blood. :eek:
Looked sort of like the smear you get when you squoosh a mosquito after it’s been on your arm for a while.
(I hope it was his own, but you never know…)
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### Author:  [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/7 "2010-10-28T19:41:15Z")
If I ever have occasion to file pleadings again, I will most certainly be adding a “You cock suckers are now on notice” at the end of each one (in my mind).
There was a fruitloop in downtown Raleigh who was a vexatious litigant. I think he was homeless, and you’d often see him carrying his backpack hither and yon, doing “legal research” at the Supreme Court library or filing papers at the courthouses. I wouldn’t be surprised if his stuff read like this.
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### Author:  [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/8 "2010-10-28T19:42:53Z")
"So long as Mr. Demos confined his submissions to a leisurely pace of two or so per week, his contributions to prisoner-related judicature were tolerable, and indeed were welcomed by the staff as invigorating respites from an otherwise workaday schedule. Now, however, the stride has quickened. Unlike vitamins and apples, the effect of digesting Demos’ pleadings on a schedule of one-a-day, every-day, is somewhat less than salubrious. […]
Among the intriguing legal problems posited in the past are the following, culled from a memorandum entered April 29, 1981:[2]
—The U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission is endangering the lives of every citizen in the state of Washington because of the nuclear energy plants at Hanford, Washington.
—As a member of the Chocktaw Indian Tribe, Mr. Demos is entitled to $15 million dollars from the government as reimbursement for treaties that were broken in the 1800’s.
—The Director of State Corrections unlawfully discriminated against Mr. Demos on the basis of sex by not honoring his request to be transferred to Purdy Correctional Center, an all-women institution.
—The United States Department of Treasury has violated Mr. Demos’ civil rights by discontinuing the practice of backing treasury notes by silver." - [Demos v. Kincheloe, 563 F. Supp. 30 - Dist. Court, ED Washington 1982](http://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=14940253492153211264&hl=en&as_sdt=2002)
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### Author:  [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/9 "2010-10-28T19:49:17Z")
I live in fear of being appointed amicus to one of these people.
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### Author:  [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/10 "2010-10-28T19:57:25Z")
I got about halfway through the pleading. Can’t decide whether he should get cited for contempt, or referred to law enforcement for threatening the Court with “civil unrest”. Possibly both.
Being the devilish sort that I am, I’d pay good money to watch him argue his petition in front of any of my local judges. I expect it would be a very short hearing before he was handcuffed and taken away.
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### Author:  [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/11 "2010-10-28T20:05:24Z")
Well, at least now the cock suckers are on notice. They can’t say they weren’t warned.
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### Author:  [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/12 "2010-10-28T20:08:30Z")
What’s that in Blackstone Latin?
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### Author:  [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/13 "2010-10-28T20:20:55Z")
[Of course, actually being a lawyer doesn’t mean you can’t file crazy pleadings.](http://www.slate.com/id/2185966/) The actual pleading begins on page 4. As of page 5, all attempts to appear sane have been abandoned. (Of course, Thompson (now disbarred) was filing on his own behalf, so it really still fits the OP.)
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### Author:  [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/14 "2010-10-28T20:30:05Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#):
>
> —The U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission is endangering the lives of every citizen in the state of Washington because of the nuclear energy plants at Hanford, Washington.
Well, the _entire state_ may be a stretch, but folks living nearby the [Hanford Site](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanford_Site#Environmental_concerns) were indeed harmed by several releases of radioactive gases over the years.
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### Author:  [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/15 "2010-10-28T20:31:32Z")
> [@Tengu](#):
>
> [Of course, actually being a lawyer doesn’t mean you can’t file crazy pleadings.](http://www.slate.com/id/2185966/) The actual pleading begins on page 4. As of page 5, all attempts to appear sane have been abandoned. (Of course, Thompson (now disbarred) was filing on his own behalf, so it really still fits the OP.)
“Thompson” is one of the most common family names in the US and I **still** knew exactly who you were talking about. Oh, Jack brought the crazy all right.
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### Author:  [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/16 "2010-10-28T20:43:26Z")
[quote=“Unauthorized\_Cinnamon, post:7, topic:558691”]
If I ever have occasion to file pleadings again, I will most certainly be adding a “You cock suckers are now on notice” at the end of each one (in my mind).
[\quote]
Just put it in Latin,and it will be legendary
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### Author:  [@Rumor\_Watkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rumor_Watkins)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/17 "2010-10-28T20:44:59Z")
> [@Spiff](#):
>
> Well, the _entire state_ may be a stretch, but folks living nearby the [Hanford Site](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanford_Site#Environmental_concerns) were indeed harmed by several releases of radioactive gases over the years.
he uses the present participle though
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/18 "2010-10-28T21:08:15Z")
I really want to know more about this guy. Apparently some bitches on a California teachers credential commission have blocked him from receiving his teaching credential. How can this be? Surely that very court filing amply demonstrates his ability to teach small children, he probably refers to them as “my little bitches”, in the classroom.
Oh, my friends, I feel a storm a comin’.
And at the very end, he signed an oath that everything was true and correct. The court HAS TO accept that!
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### Author:  [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/19 "2010-10-28T21:19:03Z")
I found his petition confusing, so I searched to see if there was some additional background information. I found it [here](http://www.loweringthebar.net/), for those who are interested.
Incidentally, from the link, it appears that the Court of Appeal dismissed the petition. That’s not so surprising; what is surprising is that the Court did not mention the nature of the petition at all.
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### Author:  [@kathmandu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kathmandu)
#### Post date: [October 28, 2010, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-lawyers-think-of-pro-se-plaintiffs/558691/20 "2010-10-28T21:24:30Z")
Overall, a good attempt at the crazy, but would be markedly improved by citing the Geneva and/or Hague Conventions, which seems to be standard operating procedure for self represented litigants I’ve come across.
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