# When making Ashlee Simpson jokes, be sure Ashlee Simpson is not right behind you! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 29, 2004, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116 "2004-11-29T07:37:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/1 "2004-11-29T07:37:49Z")
Oops! So I was at a show last night at a club where my friends and I play pretty frequently. A good friend of mine was doing sound, I was sitting with his wife in the back near the soundboard. I got there at the end of the early show which was a cabaret act, the later part of the evening was a more songwriter oriented rock n’ roll kind of a thing. The cabaret act had one number that was to be performed with a CD. As soon as my friend heard this he thought, “Oh, fuck.” As soundman the CD was his responsibility but he knew how much the CD player sucked and he was sure he would have problems- which he did. This CD player often won’t find the beginning of a track if the CD is burned, it’ll spin a bit then start playing at a random point- usually within the first 20 sec of the song. That’s what happened when it came time to play the song during the cabaret singer’s set. When he pushed “Back Skip” it skipped back to the prior song rather than the beginning of the track that should have been playing. Then he had to skip forward, this time it caught the beginning of the correct track and the number went off with no other problems. Now, when you’re the soundguy you feel horrible about this. When you’re onstage waiting for it to happen correctly these mistakes feel interminable. But in reality all of these mistakes happened in under 7 seconds and it really wasn’t a big deal at all. Still my friend was a little worried, partly because when he does a job he wants to do it well, and partly because this cabaret singer can sometimes be quite the diva, quite difficult to please. Luckily she was very sweet about it and didn’t hold it against him, but thanked him for doing, overall, such a great job making her band sound wonderful. He told us of his relief at her understanding and kindness while we were sitting at the soundboard with him. I made the joke, with his wife facing me as I was speaking, “And, of course, she handled it much better than Ashlee Simpson.” At this moment his wife, facing me with a view over my shoulder, thought to herself, “Gee, that looks like Ashlee Simpson.” :eek: It was later confirmed (after I left) that it was, indeed, Ashlee Simpson. This was last night, I was just told this story today. When I made the comment I had no idea Ashlee Simpson was there. We don’t know whether or not she heard me but I was speaking loud enough for my friends to hear me over the bar noise, and she was less than 3 feet away from me. Oops! ---
**Author:** ![Talon\_Karrde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Talon\_Karrde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talon_Karrde)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/2 "2004-11-29T07:55:51Z")
That reminds me of when I posted on a message board for a band about how I was worried that the next album might not be too great, and that the fact that “soandso” was producing it didn’t help much. Then the album’s producer posted a message about how he was enjoying working with the band and how he thought it was going to be a great album on the thread. I felt like a jerk. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/3 "2004-11-29T07:59:29Z")
Well, **Talon** , I don’t know that I quite feel like a jerk about it. I think it’s pretty funny, but I _definitely_ would not knowingly have made the comment in her presence. ---
**Author:** ![Duderdude2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@Duderdude2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duderdude2)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/4 "2004-11-29T08:09:36Z")
> [@bienville](#): > > Well, **Talon** , I don’t know that I quite feel like a jerk about it. I think it’s pretty funny, but I _definitely_ would not knowingly have made the comment in her presence. Eh, I wouldn’t hold back. That monkey dance was too much to bear. ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/5 "2004-11-29T08:50:13Z")
You? Hell. I wonder how _she_ feels! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/6 "2004-11-29T08:54:34Z")
What could Ashlee have done to you? Lip-synch to a tape of herself saying “Fuck you”? ---
**Author:** ![Duderdude2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@Duderdude2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duderdude2)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/7 "2004-11-29T08:56:06Z")
> [@Joe K](#): > > You? Hell. I wonder how _she_ feels! 😃 I guess I’d found out after I mocker her. ---
**Author:** ![Duderdude2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@Duderdude2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duderdude2)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/8 "2004-11-29T08:57:09Z")
> [@Duderdude2](#): > > I guess I’d found out after I mocker her. Though hopefully prior to her mocking my spelling. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/9 "2004-11-29T09:02:21Z")
> [@Duderdude2](#): > > Though hopefully prior to her mocking my spelling. Just blame the band! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/10 "2004-11-29T09:22:13Z")
> [@bienville](#): > > This was last night, I was just told this story today. When I made the comment I had no idea Ashlee Simpson was there. We don’t know whether or not she heard me but I was speaking loud enough for my friends to hear me over the bar noise, and she was less than 3 feet away from me. > Oops! She still sucks, right? Then all is forgiven. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/11 "2004-11-29T10:35:46Z")
What can you say? Live interpersonal interactions, these things happen! Did you do a hoe-down? ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/12 "2004-11-29T14:23:49Z")
> [@Talon Karrde](#): > > Then the album’s producer posted a message about how he was enjoying working with the band and how he thought it was going to be a great album on the thread. > I felt like a jerk. Ha! I’m hoping I’m remembering the correct author, but I think it was Shaw who gave a copy of one of his books to somebody with a personal not on the inside cover. A while later he was browsing through a used bookstore and found the book for sale. So he bought it and gave it to the same person _again_ with a new personal note on the inside cover. I’d still feel like a jerk, too. It just reminded me of that story about some author who I seem to recall as being Shaw. p.s. to the OP: If you see Ashlee again, tell her she has a great nose. I love it. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/13 "2004-11-29T14:31:07Z")
Are we all absolutely certain that Ashlee Simpson does not read this message board? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/14 "2004-11-29T14:40:39Z")
> [@Robot Arm](#): > > Are we all absolutely certain that Ashlee Simpson does not read I’m pretty confident. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/15 "2004-11-29T14:45:31Z")
> [@js\_africanus](#): > > I’m hoping I’m remembering the correct author, but I think it was Shaw who gave a copy of one of his books to somebody with a personal not on the inside cover. A while later he was browsing through a used bookstore and found the book for sale. So he bought it and gave it to the same person _again_ with a new personal note on the inside cover. George Bernard Shaw spent his time going through **his own books** at used bookstores? That’s kind of sad. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![caphis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19adc/32.png) [@caphis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caphis)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/16 "2004-11-29T14:51:35Z")
> [@Robot Arm](#): > > Are we all absolutely certain that Ashlee Simpson does not read this message board? I hope the talentless hack does. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2004, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/17 "2004-11-29T15:33:57Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > George Bernard Shaw spent his time going through **his own books** at used bookstores? That’s kind of sad. Well, I’m not certain it was Shaw and thumbing through it doesn’t seem so sad. Wouldn’t you be curious to see where you books had been? Do they tend to be well-worn or are they like-new? Are there notes? It could be quite informative, dont’cha think? ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/18 "2004-11-30T02:26:58Z")
> [@Duderdude2](#): > > Eh, I wouldn’t hold back. That monkey dance was too much to bear. Especially since, notwithstanding her musical talent or lack thereof, she’s apparently quite an accomplished ballerina. ---
**Author:** ![Talon\_Karrde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Talon\_Karrde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talon_Karrde)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/19 "2004-11-30T04:43:52Z")
I wouldn’t feel as bad about Ashlee Simpson seeing me insult her music. It’s not like she has any artistic integrity or anything. I mostly just felt bad because they producer that I was talking about really isn’t bad, his production style is just very poppy and I wasn’t sure it would fit the artist well. I can not stand Ashlee Simpson. They play a bunch of bad music on the radio at my work and I know they play at least one of her songs. It’s some kind of store radio, so they don’t say who the band is or what song, but after hearing people talk about her I know the one that goes “pieces, pieces, pieces of me” is her. That song pisses me off. I get the feeling of bad fake shallow teenage angst from it. Still, I understand feeling awkward about insulting her when she could hear. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2004, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116/20 "2004-11-30T14:06:09Z")
I was on the other end of this. I was at a science fiction convention and went to introduce myself to Shawna McCarthy, editor of Asimov’s SF Magazine at the time. While waiting, someone else was talking with her. He mentioned the anthology **Tomorrow’s Voices**. Shawna said, essentially, “those were a bunch of stories the previous editor had bought and that I didn’t like, so we put them into an anthology.” I had a story in **Tomorrow’s Voices**. I decided not to introduce myself. It makes no sense to embarass an editor. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-making-ashlee-simpson-jokes-be-sure-ashlee-simpson-is-not-right-behind-you/277116.md?page=2)