# When Michael Jackson looks in the mirror.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 14, 1999, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-michael-jackson-looks-in-the-mirror/9344 "1999-10-14T04:34:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 1999, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-michael-jackson-looks-in-the-mirror/9344/1 "1999-10-14T04:34:00Z")
Do you think he says “Gee I look so much better now that I’ve had surgery?” I thought he looked OK before. He was a handsome enough young man when he made _Off The Wall_. Seems like around the time of _Thriller_ he went nuts. And just how much surgery has he had (plastic that is). Does anyone think he looks better now? I wonder if he does? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 1999, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-michael-jackson-looks-in-the-mirror/9344/2 "1999-10-14T05:11:00Z")
That freakish little nose, like it was whittled out of a pencil; it looks like it belongs in a Doonesbury cartoon. No wonder he wears a mask. * * * TT “Believe those who seek the truth. Doubt those who find it.” --Andre Gide ---
**Author:** ![Doobieous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Doobieous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doobieous)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 1999, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-michael-jackson-looks-in-the-mirror/9344/3 "1999-10-14T06:57:00Z")
I agree, he should have stopped BEFORE he made Thriller, after that he went nuts. I’m glad his other siblings haven’t gone as crazy as he has with surgery. He looks like he is actually falling apart. Tsk… * * * ‘The beginning calls for courage; the end demands care’ ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 1999, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-michael-jackson-looks-in-the-mirror/9344/4 "1999-10-14T07:13:00Z")
Well I know one thing for sure–he’s starting with that man in the mirror. He’s asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer–if you want to make the world a better place, you’ve got to look at yourself and then make a change. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 1999, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-michael-jackson-looks-in-the-mirror/9344/5 "1999-10-14T13:18:00Z")
Michael Jackson’s real problems are not what’s on the outside of his head. ---
**Author:** ![DougC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@DougC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DougC)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 1999, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-michael-jackson-looks-in-the-mirror/9344/6 "1999-10-14T13:23:00Z")
- - - How do you know when its bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house? - - - When the big hand touches the little hand. - - - - - Sorry, “a tragic misuse of technological effort” - MC ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 1999, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-michael-jackson-looks-in-the-mirror/9344/7 "1999-10-14T13:23:00Z")
Good lord, he looks like a 13-year-old white girl from Mars. What I want to know is, why hasn’t anyone been charged with malpractice? I mean, some supposedly licensed doctors DID that to him! It’s illegal to cut off a healthy person’s leg, as we found out in another thread, so why isn’t it illegal to main them? I also have problems with Cher, who would have aged beautifully had she left herself alone. Now she looks like Yerosha the Space Monkey in a wind tunnel. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 1999, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-michael-jackson-looks-in-the-mirror/9344/8 "1999-10-14T13:24:00Z")
Oops, replace “main” with “maim.” I told you, I had a busy night. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 1999, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-michael-jackson-looks-in-the-mirror/9344/9 "1999-10-14T13:55:00Z")
Flora, that was fuckin’ hilarious…Yerosha the Space Monkey…oh shit! ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 1999, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-michael-jackson-looks-in-the-mirror/9344/10 "1999-10-14T15:55:00Z")
Did you hear that Michael Jackson and Elton John are doing a duet? . . . . . . . . . . . . . It’s called “Don’t Let Your Son Go Down on Me.” ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 1999, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-michael-jackson-looks-in-the-mirror/9344/11 "1999-10-14T16:45:00Z")
Knock, knock. _Who’s there?_ Michael Jackson. _Michael Jackson who?_ Very good, little boy. Here’s a million dollars. * * * I saw Michael Jackson at JC Penney’s yesterday. He’d heard that children’s pants were half off. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 1999, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-michael-jackson-looks-in-the-mirror/9344/12 "1999-10-14T16:54:00Z")
It’s obvious; he scared himself white! * * * “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” - _Humphrey Bogart_ ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 1999, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-michael-jackson-looks-in-the-mirror/9344/13 "1999-10-14T16:59:00Z")
My sis used to collect everything possible on the Jackson 5… god who would have known that he would turn into such a freak ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 1999, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-michael-jackson-looks-in-the-mirror/9344/14 "1999-10-15T00:47:00Z")
Sometimes it looks like Michael and LaToya are trying to surgically change places. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 1999, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-michael-jackson-looks-in-the-mirror/9344/15 "1999-10-15T01:11:00Z")
Actually, there **is** no Michael Jackson. Not anymore, anyway. The last original piece of his tissue was removed & put in the cabinet where the Elephant Man is kept quite some time ago. The plastic surgery has _taken over his body_! He’s an pod person, now. Unless he was a pod person to begin with. * * * Attention C#3!The inside of your musty head is a exercise wheel; in which two gerbils, Vanity and Credulity by name, tussle fruitlessly over the walnut that represents your banal & pointless existance.