# When Mr. Feeny tells you "I don't want to talk to you" don't believe him **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 28, 2012, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093 "2012-03-28T23:41:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/121 "2012-03-29T23:33:07Z")
There’s this adult-oriented comic I flipped through (or saw a preview of) once where the title character tries to engage some guy sitting nearby in outdoor cafe seating in conversation. The other guy asks to be left alone, and the title character replies snottily, something along the lines of “oh, I’m sorry for wanting to be social like a normal human being”. This thread reminds me of that. I didn’t like the character’s behavior either. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/122 "2012-03-29T23:48:05Z")
Reading the OP I thought for sure he was recounting a dream or perhaps writing a surreal story. Between this, Yakuza’s exploits, and the quarry guy there seems to be a strange trend here of bragging about one’s surreal lifestyles. If this really did happen, I’m not sure why you are so proud. If you stab someone in the back, you have also “won” a game the other person did not willingly participate in, but I can’t imagine why you would be proud about such a thing. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/123 "2012-03-30T00:38:26Z")
**Kozmik** ,You need to start working toward practically getting a Ph.D. in appropriate public behavior, reading social cues, and adjusting your world view based on overwhelming feedback. It’s downright creepy that you feel “won”. You created an unpleasant disturbance and bothered someone who may have had good reason for not wanting to engage in conversation. It would be a good idea for you to stop initiating conversations with strangers. It isn’t working for you. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/124 "2012-03-30T04:18:55Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > There’s obviously more to this story (or you’re making it up). Random people do not walk into waiting rooms and threaten to call the cops on someone unless that person is acting bizarre in the extreme. He accused me of being rude to the elderly man. I admit, I was rude to the elderly man, but only because [he was rude to me first](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14914118&postcount=67). > [@Hbns](#): > > I have this mental image of Kozmik grinning like a goon as he questions the poor old dude, and then breaking into something Joker-esque when he realizes he is “winning” the conversation. That’s what happened: > [@](#): > > I forced him into the uncomfortable position of wanting to talk to me after saying “I don’t want to talk to you” when I said, “You don’t want to talk to me. I want to talk to you.” and then being unable to say “I don’t want you to talk to me.” Realizing this, he says, “You are brazen.” to which I reply “Brazen?” and then, sarcastically brazen, I ask, “Didn’t you say you don’t want to talk to me?” Awkward. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/125 "2012-03-30T06:38:47Z")
I keep starting to type things, and then have to remind myself this isn’t a pit thread. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/126 "2012-03-30T08:01:11Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > What this exchange is, is Seinfeldian. Did you also tell him, “The Jerk Store just called, and they’re all out of _you_!”? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/127 "2012-03-30T09:54:06Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > The conversation should have went: > [@Kozmik](#): > > Or the converation could have went: The problem isn’t how the conversation should have went or could have went but how it did have went. Which is very very badly, entirely due to your efforts. Also, I think I just pulled my grammar groin. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/128 "2012-03-30T11:03:49Z")
Sooo I shouldn’t post about the time a butch lesbian(are there many straight women wearing all men’s clothes including loafers with shaved heads?) almost verbally raped me then, since posters here don’t respond well to surreal conversations in public.🙂 “Now when I say I eat meat are you catching on to what I mean?” “Yes and I am still not interested in the least, YOU catch a hint” ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/129 "2012-03-30T11:15:33Z")
> [@grude](#): > > Sooo I shouldn’t post about the time a butch lesbian(are there many straight women wearing all men’s clothes including loafers with shaved heads?) almost verbally raped me then, since posters here don’t respond well to surreal conversations in public.🙂 > > “Now when I say I eat meat are you catching on to what I mean?” > > “Yes and I am still not interested in the least, YOU catch a hint” At least she didn’t try to shake your hand. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/130 "2012-03-30T13:10:35Z")
> [@jackdavinci](#): > > I keep starting to type things, and then have to remind myself this isn’t a pit thread. That’s right, it isn’t. > [@Crotalus](#): > > You seem to be not only an aggressive asshole, but semi-literate to boot. See above. Please keep in mind that we’re in MPSIMS and dial back the “asshole” language. Thanks, **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/131 "2012-03-30T13:17:06Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > I forced him into the uncomfortable position You keep repeating this like it excuses your bad behavior. Do you not get why this is a bad thing? Yes, he was rude to you. That does not give you a pass to do the same. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/132 "2012-03-30T13:25:10Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > He accused me of being rude to the elderly man. I admit, I was rude to the elderly man, but only because [he was rude to me first](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14914118&postcount=67). Y’know, when I pulled that kind of excuse when I was a kid (“Yeah, I hit him but he hit me first!”) I got yelled at just as much as my brother did. Other people’s poor behavior (and frankly, all we have to go on is your description which I’m taking with a grain of salt) does not give you a free pass to act just as badly or worse. Grow up. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/133 "2012-03-30T14:00:38Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Yes, he was rude to you. That does not give you a pass to do the same. Why was he rude to me, **tdn**? > [@Jenaroph](#): > > Y’know, when I pulled that kind of excuse when I was a kid (“Yeah, I hit him but he hit me first!”) I got yelled at just as much as my brother did. Other people’s poor behavior (and frankly, all we have to go on is your description which I’m taking with a grain of salt) does not give you a free pass to act just as badly or worse. Grow up. Which is why I also admit that I made the wrong response: > [@Autolycus](#): > > Best response: Nothing > A close runner-up: A quick apology or half-apology. > Not optimum but understandable: “Oh, sorry, I’m getting an estimate and wondered if this place was reasonable.” > Your response: Creepy crazy shoehorn butterhorse. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/134 "2012-03-30T14:07:24Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > Why was he rude to me, **tdn**? How would I know? ---
**Author:** ![Lare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/53a042/32.png) [@Lare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lare)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/135 "2012-03-30T14:55:29Z")
I don’t see that he was rude to you, **Kozmik**. Look, someone says “I don’t want to talk,” the “to you” is implied. Saying the extra two words or not doesn’t change the meaning at all. He is under no obligation to talk to you. Could he have made polite, if pointless, conversation? Sure. He didn’t want to and I’m going with the majority in thinking you were in the wrong here. You didn’t teach him a lesson, you just increased his stress level for no good reason. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/136 "2012-03-30T17:47:43Z")
> [@Lare](#): > > I don’t see that he was rude to you, **Kozmik**. > > Look, someone says “I don’t want to talk,” the “to you” is implied. Saying the extra two words or not doesn’t change the meaning at all. He is under no obligation to talk to you. Could he have made polite, if pointless, conversation? Sure. He didn’t want to and I’m going with the majority in thinking you were in the wrong here. You didn’t teach him a lesson, you just increased his stress level for no good reason. Now that we’ve established what he said, “I don’t want to talk to you.” and what I _should_ have said, “Oh, sorry, I’m getting an estimate and wondered if this place was reasonable.” I want to establish, if possible, that there was more that was implied. How he said it and the way that he said it took me aback, startled me, and would have left me literally speechless. As I mentioned, he had the most condenscending tone I have ever heard in my life. He looked at me as though I was unworthy of being in his presence, which is why I felt uncomfortable. So I made a _faux paux_? So what? I just wanted to convey to him that I’m getting an estimate and wondering about whether this was a good place or not (this much should have been implied) and leave it at that. He implied that him talking to me was somehow beneath him. What was implied in “I don’t want to talk to you.” is “How dare you even think that you may speak to me.” ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/137 "2012-03-30T18:42:48Z")
> [@grude](#): > > Sooo I shouldn’t post about the time a butch lesbian(are there many straight women wearing all men’s clothes including loafers with shaved heads?) almost verbally raped me then, since posters here don’t respond well to surreal conversations in public.🙂 > > “Now when I say I eat meat are you catching on to what I mean?” > > “Yes and I am still not interested in the least, YOU catch a hint” I don’t understand this post. I guess that’s why it belongs in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/138 "2012-03-30T18:46:56Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > How he said it and the way that he said it took me aback, startled me, and would have left me \*\*literally \*\*speechless. Clearly not, as you responded to him. > [@](#): > > What was implied in “I don’t want to talk to you.” is “How dare you even think that you may speak to me.” That’s what you inferred, but there’s not a lot of evidence to support that. Regardless, random strangers don’t owe you respect or a conversation, so everything you did after the initial response was out of line. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/139 "2012-03-30T19:08:45Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > That’s what you inferred, but there’s not a lot of evidence to support that. Honestly we don’t know in what tone it was said. I can imagine one particular way of saying it that would, indeed, be extraordinarily rude. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093/140 "2012-03-30T19:21:07Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > I don’t understand this post. I guess that’s why it belongs in this thread. I’m glad I’m not the only one. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-mr-feeny-tells-you-i-dont-want-to-talk-to-you-dont-believe-him/617093.md?page=8)