I’m trying to imagine this set to music now. Heh. Maybe I should make it into a song.
This is the one I was thinking of:
I’m sorry; the grammar nazi in me won’t let “when my generation were” sit there any longer without being slapped.
I guess those really were the “good old days” . . . as long as you weren’t black, or poor, or gay, or female, or Jewish, or atheist, or old, or physically or mentally challenged, or spoke with an accent, or . . . or . . . or . . .
Is that old worthless piece of shit still being passed around? I had that e-mailed to me in the 1990s!
Don’t forget the tight circumcisions. Now they leave more of the nerve-containing mucous skin
“My generational cohort had a perfect childhood, because we possessed a combination of freedom, gumption, and orneriness that kids today sorely lack, what with their Myspaces and pogs and celebrities I don’t like. We knew how to raise children properly. We didn’t actually do it, which is why I’m complaining about the current generation, but my point still stands: Seat belts and polio vaccines are terrible, and smoking and drinking while pregnant have been medically proven to be healthier for you than exercise.”
Ha! Anti-Semitism!
My mother-in-law will actually comment that she smoked and drank during pregnancy and nothing bad happened even though she had a few miscarriages and a stillborn baby. She will also say that nothing bad ever happened because they never wore seatbelts but her mother once fell out of the car on a boulevard turn because the car door wasn’t latched.
“Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.” -Jack Handy
mmm
Well, at least this is useful as a definitive list of “causes that lead to people sending you annoying glurgy e-mails.” i suspected it was lack of Nintendo while growing up that did it, but here is proof.
I wonder what glurgy lists this generation of kids will make up…
When I was a kid in the 90s we used computers without virus protection and we were just fine!
We breathed the air without nose filters and liked it!
I’m totally stealing this, since my generation has no respect for intellectual property. 
I was going to keep this list going and can’t even think of what to add!
I understand the sentiment behind some of these glurge posts. The longing for the “good old days”, the worrying that today’s kids are being smothered by helicopter parents, but these things always go to far. Is this glurge really pro lead paint? Anti safe medicine bottles? Pro hitchhiking FFS? Anti seat belt? Pro non-caring parents?
Hitchhiking really does get a bit of a bad rap. Horror stories do unfortunately exist, but statistically one is in far more danger from acquaintances. Freakonomics has generated a few interesting articles on this topic.
We drove cars ourselves and didn’t kill anyone (often).
We ate in kitchens with laminate countertops and harvest green appliances! And didn’t even know what a crostini was!
My God, I was in my 30s before we could get appletinis! clutches pearls
Oh, I’m sure statistically it pans out, but it still doesn’t sound like a good idea sending your kid out to hop a ride somewhere with a complete stranger. Remember from the list, the parents also don’t know where they are all day:)
It’s timeless. Now will always suck, and back then only gets better.