# When "No!" means "Yes!" (Not a sexual consent thread) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 10, 2011, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-no-means-yes-not-a-sexual-consent-thread/602497 "2011-11-10T11:11:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-no-means-yes-not-a-sexual-consent-thread/602497/1 "2011-11-10T11:11:26Z")
I was reminded of this abrasive personality trait the other night when out with someone who does this: in response to almost any sentence where you are seeking confirmation, whether by asking a question or not, the response is “No! blah blah blah”, whether or not you are correct. It was like this. Her: Do you know what the label ‘Veuve Clicquot’ means? Me: Umm, (dredging memory), it’s something familial isn’t it? Her: No! It means ‘widow Clicquot’. me: ☹ I had a boss many years ago who frequently did the same kind of thing. Me: So we should do X before we start on Y, right? Him: No! Get X done first and then do Y! Me: ☹ Another time… Me: Is this something important? Him: No! … It’s fucking important! Leave it on my desk. I’m pretty sure in the boss’ case it was a power trip kind of thing - shout “No! Do XYZ” at people a lot and it will make you look like a pogi (person of great importance) to anyone in listening range. Obnoxious though. Is it just me or have other people come across this kind of behavior and it grates against them? ---
**Author:** ![Mops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mops/32/16494_2.png) [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-no-means-yes-not-a-sexual-consent-thread/602497/2 "2011-11-10T11:38:22Z")
Your first example is typical of what I experience, and i don’t consider it a big deal, and try hard not to get annoyed - I just adjust my estimate of the other person’s intelligence a tiny bit downwards. It is just a case of imprecise thinking. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-no-means-yes-not-a-sexual-consent-thread/602497/3 "2011-11-10T14:47:48Z")
I haven’t run into any like that, but it’s making me think of one of my mother’s conversational crutches. She’s either monologuing or, less infrequently, silent, and a new idea pops up into her mind - and must of course be blurted as fast as possible lest it give her a headache. So she exclaims “Oh, shut up! Blahblahblah…” Depending on what mood I’m in, I say “it wasn’t me who was talking, Mom :rolleyes:” or merely nod, go u-hu and continue looking out the window. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-no-means-yes-not-a-sexual-consent-thread/602497/4 "2011-11-10T15:09:51Z")
I’ve heard people begin sentences with “Absolutely . . .” without it referring to anything. It’s no different than “You know . . .” or “I mean. . . .” ---
**Author:** ![LC\_Strawhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@LC\_Strawhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LC_Strawhouse)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-no-means-yes-not-a-sexual-consent-thread/602497/5 "2011-11-10T15:14:17Z")
This exact trait has been parodied on The Vicar of Dibley (British TV). Enjoy! [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/InTAt2hI_kg/hqdefault.jpg "No no no no: The Best of Jim Trott") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InTAt2hI_kg) ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-no-means-yes-not-a-sexual-consent-thread/602497/6 "2011-11-10T15:15:14Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > Me: Is this something important? > Him: No! … It’s fucking important! Leave it on my desk. This one is actually pretty funny. I need to use this in the future. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-no-means-yes-not-a-sexual-consent-thread/602497/7 "2011-11-10T15:26:58Z")
Back in ancient times, when I was a bank teller, an elderly customer was giving me her life story, apparently in a roundabout way to tell me what she needed me to do. I tried to clarify by asking “Do you want to make a withdrawel?” She snapped back “No! I want to make a withdrawel!” ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-no-means-yes-not-a-sexual-consent-thread/602497/8 "2011-11-10T15:51:57Z")
I had a law school professor nicknamed “Dr. No” for his habit of doing this. ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-no-means-yes-not-a-sexual-consent-thread/602497/9 "2011-11-10T16:43:37Z")
Yeah, it’s just a petty way of being a little more “powerful”. I used to do it in middle school, when I was a snot-nosed, high and mighty, “I’m smarter than you” type. Person asking a genuine question: Is the answer X? Me: No, it’s X! I was a bitch. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2011, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-no-means-yes-not-a-sexual-consent-thread/602497/10 "2011-11-10T17:30:19Z")
Henry: Do you know what kind of wood this is? Radar: Oak? Henry: No! it’s oak. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-no-means-yes-not-a-sexual-consent-thread/602497/11 "2011-11-11T01:08:43Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > This one is actually pretty funny. I need to use this in the future. The emphasis was on “important” not “fucking”. Still funny? ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-no-means-yes-not-a-sexual-consent-thread/602497/12 "2011-11-11T03:58:51Z")
Tangentially relevant joke (just slightly NSFW): What’s the difference between a lady and a politician? If a lady says no, she means maybe. If she says maybe, she means yes. If she says yes, she’s no lady. If a politician says yes, he means maybe. If he says maybe, he means no. If he says no, he’s no politician. ---
**Author:** ![Floater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dc4da7/32.png) [@Floater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floater)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-no-means-yes-not-a-sexual-consent-thread/602497/13 "2011-11-11T09:21:28Z")
- Two negatives combined make a positive, but two positives combined can never make a negative. - Yeah, right? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-no-means-yes-not-a-sexual-consent-thread/602497/14 "2011-11-11T12:33:12Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > The emphasis was on “important” not “fucking”. Still funny? Heh, no. Emphasis on “important” = :rolleyes: Emphasis on “fucking” = 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-no-means-yes-not-a-sexual-consent-thread/602497/15 "2011-11-11T18:03:15Z")
Jesus may have done the opposite of this: many of his statements started with Amen, which means you agree with the previous statement. Often it is assumed that he is using it in reverse to refer to what he’s about to say, but this is not certain. He may have just been saying, “Yes, that’s true, but…” ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2011, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-no-means-yes-not-a-sexual-consent-thread/602497/16 "2011-11-11T19:29:57Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > Me: So we should do X before we start on Y, right? > Him: No! Get X done first and then do Y! > Me: ☹ I believe this is scientifically known, and accepted universally, as being an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2011, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-no-means-yes-not-a-sexual-consent-thread/602497/17 "2011-11-12T00:06:42Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > Her: Do you know what the label ‘Veuve Clicquot’ means? > Me: Umm, (dredging memory), it’s something familial isn’t it? > Her: No! It means ‘widow Clicquot’. > me: ☹ > > I had a boss many years ago who frequently did the same kind of thing. > > Me: So we should do X before we start on Y, right? > Him: No! Get X done first and then do Y! > Me: ☹ Huh? Why are you ☹ ? You should’ve been :dubious: :mad: :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2011, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-no-means-yes-not-a-sexual-consent-thread/602497/18 "2011-11-12T08:02:12Z")
> [@Arnold\_Winkelried](#): > > Huh? Why are you ☹ ? You should’ve been :dubious: :mad: :smack: Yes! In smilies I would have looked like that. But what do you say to them in such a situation? There’s really nothing to be said because they are “No!” people.