When otherwise intelligent people stun you with their lack of knowledge.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

Well.

While in college I was ‘involved’ with another student and one night, during an interlude (if you know what I mean) she mentioned that she wanted to do it ‘doggie style’. Fine by me, one way’s as good as another (I was twenty or so). She gets on hands and knees and I approach from astern (as it were), we reach the point of contact and I hear her say…“wait, that’s not the right hole”.

Could have fooled me. I double check. Sure seems right. Being young I’m somewhat inexperienced at this point but I feel pretty confident that I know how tab A fits into slot B.

“No, No”, she says, we’re doing it ‘doggie style’ and proceeds to explain that dogs don’t have a slot B and all um…canine intercourse is through what one might think of as an alternate approach. 'Secret Life of Dogs", indeed.

She’d been having intercourse for about four years and had believed that every time someone mentioned ‘doggie style’ (or other words to the same effect) they were participating in anal sex. And therefore she’d been doing it that way.

Imagine my shock. How does one explain, in the position I found myself, that she was simply wrong? I gave it a dead game shot (buh-dum BUM!) but I’m not sure I convinced her.

Counts as one of my odder bedroom moments. Truly.

62

So my wife is as smart as Ms. USA?

I wonder if I should be :smiley: or :eek: about that…

63

My SO, who has a BS in biology, is a middle school science teacher, and has a certified Genius I.Q., says to me, in the midst of a conversation, “You mean Benjamin Franklin wasn’t a president?!”

Her excuse is that she was in honors classes all her life, and they always assumed that the smart kids knew all this basic stuff, so they never had it taught to them. I had this same problem with the technical aspects of English. I have an advanced vocabulary, and can write very well, but I couldn’t identify an present participle to save my life, because it was simply never taught to me. It drove me nuts when I got to high school French, because everything was indentified by the technical terms, and I had no idea what was going on.

64

My uncle is a successful businessman. He capitalized on his auto-tinkering youth and opened a body and paint shop in Portland, OR, many years ago. He’s now more or less independently wealthy, at least enough so he can buy himself and his wife a brand-new BMW every year – each.

When he met my wife, and found out she’s an epidemiologist (i.e. the study of disease in populations), he said, “So, I’ve heard that AIDS started when African men had sex with monkeys.”

After my wife picked herself up off the floor, she attempted to disabuse my uncle of the notion. I say attempt, because the subject has never come up again, but if it did, I think my uncle would still think that’s how AIDS came about.

Hell, last Mother’s Day, he tried to convince me that I really, actually, do think Britney Spears is hot, and not an exploiter of the worst type of pandering. Few things are creepier than a 55-year old man trying to explain why every male should find a 20-year-old virgin/whore stereotype the epitome of female attractiveness. With his wife standing next to him, no less.

I apologize to my wife for my family on a regular basis…

65

I had a friend who was one of the most intelligent, academic-wise, people I know. Very insightful, etc. You should also know that she had older sisters and a very feminist mom.

She didn’t know how easy it is to get pregnant. She thought you had to actively try for months (that is, I guess, ordinary sex wouldn’t do it). She was already married at this time. I just about swallowed my tongue when I realized this.

(rant: what, you think there’s a little bank in there, and when you get enough, it dings? Where do you think pregnant-their-first-time 15 year olds come from? How can you have an advanced degree from a university where everyone talks about sex all the time and not know the basic facts of life? Aaaaarrghghgh!)

66

I was (rather stupidly, I admit) trying to wash out a plastic pan that I had used to catch motor oil, instead of just wiping it out, and my then-gf said, “Have you tried bleach?”

67

My roommate in graduate school, who otherwise had a reputation of being rather clever, was known for saying things as she thought them rather than thinking about them before opening her mouth. One day we were watching some cheesy 80’s horror film on the USA network. The female character comes back to a home where we, the audience, know she will find the bodies of her murdered family throughout the house. The killer is still in the house waiting for his next victim. The scary music starts as soon as she closes the front door behind her. My roommate then says (very passionately I might add), “OH MY GOD! If I were that girl, as SOON as I heard the scary music, I would be OUTTA THERE! She is SO stupid.” Initially I looked at her with the understanding that she was just ACTING stupid for humor’s sake, then I realized that she was totally serious. I actually had to tell her, “But (insert name here), she can’t HEAR the scary music!” We both had a good laugh over that one.

68

Snopes on “Ring around the Rosy”: verdict is that the plauge thing is baseless.

69

Hi, everybody! I have an unlimited supply of ignorance myself, which is cool with me; no fear of having nothing to experience but reruns!

70

Two semesters ago, I took a human sexuality course. The professor seemed very competent, knew where all the parts were & all that.

One day she related the story about Catherine the Great having died due to her attempt to copulate with a horse. The woman thoroughly believed it! I was stunned.

I raised my hand & said something to the effect of, “Uh, I was under the impression that that story is untrue…?” . Call me a wuss, but I wasn’t gonna say, “Uh, what the hell are you talking about? That story’s not true!”. I needed that “A”. :slight_smile:

“Oh no, it’s true!”, said she.

“Oh…I just thought I’d read some stuff to the contrary”, said I, hoping to at least make her wonder to herself if she was correct in her assertion. Kinda bugged me that the professor was handing out wrong information as truth, even if it was about a trivial subject.

“Nope, it’s true!”, came the reply.

Oof.

71

Well, I don’t think I could look at my vagina, even if I wanted to (for whatever reason) being as I don’t own a speculum and even if I did, I couldn’t very well be attending both ends of it at once.

So, exactly how were those girls being stupid for saying they would never look at their own vaginas?

72

Sometimes perfectly normal people lapse into brain failure. A conversation I had recently with a good friend of mine:

Me: So we went inside. . .
Her: I thought she had an outdoor wedding.
Me: We went inside the tent.
Her: Why would she put up a tent inside the building?
And sometimes people really are just stupid. Conversation with one of my aunt’s dim boyfriend.

Me: This is Poe Park. Edgar Allen Poe used to live in that little cottage.
Him: He lived in the middle of a park?

This was the guy when, on seeing a commercial for full length mink coats on sale for “nineteen sixty five,” offered to buy my aunt the mink: “Heck, I didn’t know they cost less than twenty bucks!”

73

Do you seriously think that the person technically meant her vagina, as opposed to her entire… package?

74

And I may as well post a story of my own, that combines not thinking before she talked, and a lack of knowledge.

“The care ran over them and they were decapitated!”

“Whoa, did they survive?” She soon realized what she said… then asked…

“Doesn’t that mean when you lose a limb?”

“No… it means when you get your head chopped off - losing a limb is amputation.”

“Isn’t it amputation when you get a prosthetic limb?”

:eek: :smiley:

75

This is one of my all-time favorite threads. Amazing But True! I’ve been making notes as I read it because several stories ocurred to me. And in the interest of fairness, I’ll end with a couple tales of my own astonishing ignorance…

Lyllyan: The idea of electricity falling out of light sockets appeared in a James Thurber story about when Columbus, Ohio first got electricity. Can’t recall the title of it, but his grandmother kept worrying about that very thing. It was hilarious.

I had a roommate in college who believed that those electric hedge-trimmers could jump-start when unplugged if you squeezed the trigger. “It saves up just enough juice to cut your finger off,” he said, eyeing the trimmer suspiciously. I tried to tell him electricity doesn’t work that way, but he swore he’d had a friend lose a finger to one.

One of our TV broadcasters here in Memphis, I forget which station, mentioned in passing the otehr night that he’d never heard of the movie “Fargo.” Never HEARD of it. A TV newscaster, whom we rely upon to stay up-to-date.

I was in a coffee shop studying while in grad school. A girl at the next table said, “Excuse me, do you know anything about georgaphy?” I said Yeah, a little. She said, “Well, I’m looking at this map, and I can’t find Palestine ANYWHERE! I see Jerusalem, and Beirut, but where’s Palestine?” (1) She thought Palestine was a city; and (2) she thought Palestine existed.

I once spent 20 frantic, late-for-work minutes turning my apartment upside down, trying to find a pair of glasses I was WEARING. Didn’t occur to me that if I could see to look for them, I had to be wearing them. (In my defense, I was horribly hungover.)

And finally:

I was trying to look up my friend Jack in the phone book. Oddly, there was no listing for Jack, but there wa a John Samelastname. I asked my then-SO about it. She said, “That’s him.” I said, “Why does it say John then?” She told me Jack is a nickname for John. This FLOORED me. I had never heard this. I started thinking off all the Jacks I’d known or heard of…

and I suddenly figured out why you never hear anything about Jack Kennedy anymore. I’d always thought there was another Kennedy named Jack: The Silent Kennedy or something.

There’s my stories. Keep 'em coming!

76

Not that I have anything against Snopes, but it would be appropriate to mention our host also:
Is it true about Catherine the Great and the horse?
The column (including Slug Signorino’s illustration) can also be found on pages 109-110 of Cecil Adams’ book «The Straight Dope (1984; reissued 1986, 1998)».

77

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Caesar’s Ghost *
Let’s see…there’s my Bio teacher, who constantly passes on ULs. She insisted the “Ring around the Rosy is a metaphor for the plague” was true, as well as the “Donald Duck was banned in Finland”,QUOTE]

As far as I know, the song ‘Ring, A Ring of Roses’ did indeed originate during the plague. The ‘ring-of-roses’ being the rash that would be evident around the mouth, the ‘pocket-full of posies’ as metaphor for the various herbs that were carried in a (vain) attempt to keep the disease at bay. ‘Atishoo’: the respiratory infection that preceeded the onset of more serious complications, and ‘We all fall down’ was what happened when ya’ died.

78

Off topic, I must say I’m moderately mystified by the contents of that link!!

79

A couple of years back I was talking to a 24 year old high school graduate here in the Chicago area. She asked me about my origins, and I told her, “The east coast.”

She looked at me and asked, “Where is that?” :eek:

I was totally speechless. The shock I was feeling must have shown in my face because she read it and became embarrassed and somewhat defensive. Needless to say, we both found a way to end the conversation and extricate ourselves from the situation.

80

Ahem. Snopes has found this to be an urban legend, and the link to the relevant page has already been posted twice in this thread