I agree in theory that, yeah, I work hard for my cash so I don’t want to just give it away. But at the same time, my relationships are usually (or in the case of close family, always) more important to me than my money. Recently, one of my parents went through hard times and I sent over $800 with no plan to ever see it again. I know it just killed them to ask (for the record, I sent $500 over without being asked originally and they asked for $300 more later), but I wouldn’t have offered it if I wasn’t prepared to give it. I told them that they spent considerably more than that on me over the years, so there was no reason to feel guilt about taking a loan/gift from me. That’s what family is for - to be there for each other and help each other out.
Generally it’s never been an issue with my friends as we all have our own money. The only exceptions are travel plans (i.e. you book the flight and I’ll pay you back later). I’ve never had any problems on the borrowing or lending side. My friends are almost always very responsible.
Crowbars first, then I get rough.
I don’t loan money. The only time in the last ten years that I can remember was to a very good friend who was about to have her electricity shut off (in Texas in Summer) and was in the process of changing jobs. I made it very clear up front that I do not, as a rule, make loans to ANYONE, that it was a very serious issue with me and that I expected full repayment on a reasonable schedule.
I paid her overdue electric bill directly rather than send the money to her. She paid me back within three months. I didn’t ask for any interest. I just wanted to be paid back.
I’ve been asked by a few other people, larger amounts, but the answer is NO.
Hell, one guy I knew had defaulted on his student loans, his car was breaking down, his teeth were falling out of his head for lack of dental insurance…and the stupid shit had the nerve to ask for a loan so that he could make a down payment on a new computer all tricked out for game play! Damn dude, I think your priorities are seriously fucked.
Small amounts are another matter. I never sweat a couple of bucks. You need a dollar for a soda? Here you go. You need $5 to have enough for lunch? Sure. Forget to pay me back? Well, if it gets to be a pattern I’ll simply stop coughing up the money.
I’ve loaned significant sums of money to two people, a sister and brother. I loaned my friend, the sister $1200 for a computer and $800 for a couch.
Her brother, also a friend, got really upset after I made that loan. He told me, if I’d asked him, he would have told me that she’d never pay it back. She’d borrowed from several friends over the years and never paid a dime back. The friends would eventually give up, and just write her and the money off.
I did better than some of her friends, she paid me back $207.50. :rolleyes:
A few months after, I lent the brother $800.00. His comment, as I handed it to him was, “Don’t worry, I pay my debts!” He moved out of state a week later, never to be seen again.
10 years later, I got a call from my accountant (his too) asking if he could give brother my phone # and address. He was in a 12 step program, and was at the point of repairing old wrongs.
I guess he fell off the steps. :dubious:
That was my life lesson. I don’t lend money if I want to keep the friend. I have given to friends, but that loss of trust that comes with an unpaid loan is just too much to bear.
I don’t loan money I can’t afford to lose. Then I consider it a gift and if I get it back it is a bonus.