# When someone realizes you HATE a performer they LOVE... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 22, 2009, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447 "2009-01-22T13:23:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![NAF1138](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naf1138/32/3245_2.png) [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/41 "2009-01-22T19:34:04Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Really? Man, _Cats_ is exhibit number one in the Andrew Lloyd Webber Crimes Against Music tribunal I plan to hold once I seize control of the government. Is Phantom exibit II or Starlight Express? Think carefully about your answer, if you chose wrong Webber will unleash his minions and take the government back. ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/42 "2009-01-22T19:42:32Z")
I had all sorts of problems with my first serious boyfriend when I told him that I disliked Pearl Jam. I can’t think of a good adjective – I hate music that tries to evoke a self-pitying mood, especially if it’s “deep” or poignant…if I am in a deep or poignant mood that sort of music turns me round the bend because it’s so fake. As if the guy howling in the mic has the slightest clue about how I feel. I also dislike movies like that. I hated the Matrix and anything with long soulful looks like The Lord of the Rings (at least half an hour of each movie was Frodo trying to look fraught). I am TRYING to be a bit more reasonable that way, but when someone says they love Pearl Jam I can’t help shuddering reflexively. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/43 "2009-01-22T19:47:37Z")
> [@SaharaTea](#): > > My husband and I have very different muscial tastes, but usually we can appreciate some aspects of each other’s favorite artists. The Beatles are a good example, because I respect them for the enormous influence they had on pop music even if I don’t worship everything they recorded. > > But there is one aspect of my husband’s musical taste that I just can’t get into, and that’s his love of prog rock - Yes, Genesis, King Crimson, etc. My ears usually go spontaneously deaf when he mentions or listens to these bands. > > My biggest “gatekeeper” artist is Dylan. A lot of people complain about his voice, which is understandable, but I’m probably going to take you a lot more seriously if you can appreciate his lyrics. I like your husband’s taste in music. Is he allowed to date? 😉 I think musical compatibility is pretty damn important in a relationship. I broke up with a guy, in no small part, because his taste in music was so different from mine. My husband’s taste is currently leaning into a place I don’t want to go. It kinda sucks! I’m trying, but I’m not getting it. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/44 "2009-01-22T19:47:52Z")
> [@bufftabby](#): > > I’ve never met anyone who said they _hated_ Pink Floyd, but I believe I would probably react quite melodramatically, with much heart-clutching. Now you have. I loathe them. I can stand a few cuts off The Wall, in small doses (ie, not back to back, and only once in a while), but that’s about it. I have a particularly strong hatred of Comfortably Numb. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/45 "2009-01-22T19:48:41Z")
Classical music = “that shit.” “Who put that shit on?” “How can you listen to that shit?” “Man, that shit it boring.” “That shit is so gay.” “That shit all sounds the same to me.” “That shit has no beat.” “Dead people wrote that shit.” “You can’t dance to that shit.” “Young people like me don’t listen to that shit.” “My grandmother’s into that shit.” “Why do we have to listen to that shit?” “I’m gonna turn off that shit and put something really good on.” ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/46 "2009-01-22T20:16:22Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > I think musical compatibility is pretty damn important in a relationship. I broke up with a guy, in no small part, because his taste in music was so different from mine. Man, I love music and it’s important to me, but that seems a bit extreme. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/47 "2009-01-22T20:31:02Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Man, I love music and it’s important to me, but that seems a bit extreme. I actually agree. My wife and I have tastes that overlap but also differ quite a bit. But if she only listened to C&W or only Rap or only Opera I don’t we would have ended up together. The only music she plays a lot of that I really can’t stand is Neil Young. His voice just drives me nuts. We both love CSN&Y but by himself I can’t stand him. She can’t stand all the Prog Rock I love. Especially Rush but I don’t play a lot of Rush any more and she can just tolerate Yes. She really dislikes the heavy metal I occasionally have on and I get tired of some of the folk she plays. There is a whole subset of slightly whiny modern woman folk musicians based around NYC that I can only take in small doses. Cheryl Wheeler, Julie Gold, Patty Larkin, Megon McDonough, and Sally Fingerett I think defines this group. Christine Lavin is actually the Queen of this type of music, but I like her better. The others all seem like cheap knockoffs of her. I love older folk music as she does. We both love the Blues and while she doesn’t like Sinatra as much as I do, we both love Louis Armstrong so we do well in a wide range of musical taste. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/48 "2009-01-22T20:43:48Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I face a lot of “Andrew Lloyd Webber is just a hack.” I merely state, “Well, you are entitled to your opinion, but he is the most successful composer in musical history.” If they challenge that, I say “You are entitled to your own opinion. You are not entitled to your own facts.” I don’t think Webber is the most successful composer ever. If you were to alter it to the most commercially successful living composer of broadway musicals it would be hard to argue. Few people like or have even heard of the stuff I like so I’ve just gotten used to indifference at best. ---
**Author:** ![Gulo\_gulo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bcef8e/32.png) [@Gulo\_gulo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gulo_gulo)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/49 "2009-01-22T20:55:17Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > His reply? > > “Oh. [long pause] The lead singer of Linkin Park is my nephew.” I did this too. I can’t even remember the band involved but it was a fairly well-known Vancouver band. A co-worker approached me after their set and asked me how I like them. I told her that the music was great but the lead singer needs to stop imagining he’s Morrissey. She gave me the Look Of Death. “He’s my boyfriend.” I paused, then continued my tirade. In for a penny and all that. Besides, she asked. I don’t recall her talking to me again after than. No great loss! ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/50 "2009-01-22T20:56:14Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > I actually agree. My wife and I have tastes that overlap but also differ quite a bit. I think it’s pretty much impossible to find any two people whose tastes don’t overlap even a little bit. Or at least, I should say, in my experience I haven’t met anyone with musical tastes so completely divergent from mine that I couldn’t find at least an artist or two I couldn’t tolerate (and I’ve dated one girl whose tastes were almost exclusively all that pop country stuff I don’t like.) As important as music is, I just don’t think it’s _that_ important. At least not to me. Of all the things I’m looking for in a partner, shared musical tastes is about at the end of the list. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/51 "2009-01-22T21:07:11Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I think it’s pretty much impossible to find any two people whose tastes don’t overlap even a little bit. Or at least, I should say, in my experience I haven’t met anyone with musical tastes so completely divergent from mine that I couldn’t find at least an artist or two I couldn’t tolerate (and I’ve dated one girl whose tastes were almost exclusively all that pop country stuff I don’t like.) As important as music is, I just don’t think it’s _that_ important. At least not to me. Of all the things I’m looking for in a partner, shared musical tastes is about at the end of the list. I knew a girl that listened only to cherry pop and Bon Jovi. She was a huge Madonna fan too. She didn’t like all my classic rock and prog rock and blues and folk and classic. I think this made us pretty damn incompatible in the long run. Music was that important to me when I was younger and it is still fairly important. So in this regard, like so many others, people differ. Hell, it is probably worth pointing out that my wife and I really first hooked up volunteering at the Hudson River Clearwater Revival which is a Folk Festival so music was fairly important to both of us. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/52 "2009-01-22T21:17:50Z")
If I dislike someone, I usually can give some pretty specific reasons (and usually not what the fans would think). For instance, I dislike Stephen Sondheim; to me, he’s even worse than Andres Lloyd Weber.\* When people start defending Steve, I point out he’s a very weak composer and a great – though emotionally unsophisticated and somewhat shallow – lyricist. They have trouble wrapping their heads around that. The same thing when people rave about Macs; I point out that they are much too slow. When they are sputtering, I demonstrate what an ergonomic disaster all Macs are. \*Weber averages one great song a show (though **Jesus Christ Superstar** brings skews the average a bit. Sondheim has three in his entire career. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/53 "2009-01-22T21:18:03Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I think it’s pretty much impossible to find any two people whose tastes don’t overlap even a little bit. Or at least, I should say, in my experience I haven’t met anyone with musical tastes so completely divergent from mine that I couldn’t find at least an artist or two I couldn’t tolerate (and I’ve dated one girl whose tastes were almost exclusively all that pop country stuff I don’t like.) As important as music is, I just don’t think it’s _that_ important. At least not to me. Of all the things I’m looking for in a partner, shared musical tastes is about at the end of the list. Well, I don’t know. I think that, in a very general way, what type of music you listen to says something about your personality and values. So if you’re totally incompatible musically, you may be in more important ways as well. ---
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/54 "2009-01-22T21:18:48Z")
When it comes to compatibility, having the same taste in music isn’t as important to me as a passion for some kind of music, no matter what the genre. A former SO of mine just wasn’t into it. He liked a few artists here and there, but owned almost no CDs and rarely listened to anything. That to me was beyond strange. Needless to say the relationship didn’t last long. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/55 "2009-01-22T21:45:43Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Well, I don’t know. I think that, in a very general way, what type of music you listen to says something about your personality and values. So if you’re totally incompatible musically, you may be in more important ways as well. Sure. But also music is a joy that is only magnified when shared. I love music on my own, but consuming music with a loved one is even better. On a more practical note, I live in an apartment. My wife and I play music all the time. I have no choice but to overhear some of the music I cannot appreciate, and vice versa. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/56 "2009-01-22T21:47:24Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Well, I don’t know. I think that, in a very general way, what type of music you listen to says something about your personality and values. Maybe. All I know is that my friends and people I’ve dated have quite often had wildly different musical tastes, and I can’t really correlate their tastes in music with their values in any meaningful way. But, like I also said, it’s pretty much impossible to find anyone without some overlap in taste. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/57 "2009-01-22T21:50:22Z")
> [@woodstockbirdybird](#): > > Well, I don’t know. I think that, in a very general way, what type of music you listen to says something about your personality and values. So if you’re totally incompatible musically, you may be in more important ways as well. only if you invest a LOT into your musical choices. In my case, my wife enjoys music, but doesn’t invest in listening to it the way I do. She doesn’t like a lot of stuff I do, but she respects my taste and enjoys the artists I introduce her to within the styles she enjoys. Basically, I get to pick the music, just like she gets to design the house, pick my wardrobe, make most child-rearing decisions…hey, wait a minute…🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/58 "2009-01-22T21:54:38Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Man, I love music and it’s important to me, but that seems a bit extreme. Not for me! I don’t mind the occasional sucky song, but I don’t want a steady diet of music I dislike. Believe me…there were other reasons for showing him the door, but this was definitely near the top of the list. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/59 "2009-01-22T22:37:25Z")
This thread is a good illustration of what I am talking about. Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote CATS, Phantom and a bunch of other musicals. He is the most successful musical theatre composer ever in terms of cash and popularity. You cannot change those facts. If you don’t like him, fine. But do not diminish his accomplishments. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2009, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447/60 "2009-01-22T22:48:05Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > This thread is a good illustration of what I am talking about. Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote CATS, Phantom and a bunch of other musicals. He is the most successful musical theatre composer ever in terms of cash and popularity. You cannot change those facts. > > If you don’t like him, fine. But do not diminish his accomplishments. Richard Rodgers wrote dozens of musicals including Babes in Arms, Oklahoma!, Carousel, State Fair, South Pacific, The King and I, Flower Drum Song and The Sound of Music. It’s hard to argue ALW is bigger than that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-realizes-you-hate-a-performer-they-love/482447.md?page=4)