# When someone stares at you **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 13, 2013, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228 "2013-02-13T22:43:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jools](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b3f665/32.png) [@jools](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jools)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/1 "2013-02-13T22:43:21Z")
We were talking about it at lunchtime today. What is the first thing that pops in your mind when in a public place someone blatantly stares at you? and what would you like to do or do? Personally I always think there is something wrong like mascara running down my face or snot dripping down my nose. Once I’ve touched and realized nothing is wrong then I want to make faces at them. What about you? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/2 "2013-02-13T22:54:12Z")
That they think they know me. It’s the beard, of course. All us gray-haired bearded types look somewhat alike. ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/3 "2013-02-13T23:13:05Z")
They’re being an asshole, staring at that “cripple” in the scooter or wheelchair (I use both). If I am on the LRT (like a subway), I figure they are pissed off because I am taking up so much space instead of using disabled transit; regardless, they are still an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![pchaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/258eb7/32.png) [@pchaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pchaos)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/4 "2013-02-13T23:18:27Z")
> [@jools](#): > > We were talking about it at lunchtime today. What is the first thing that pops in your mind when in a public place someone blatantly stares at you? and what would you like to do or do? They either think you are gorgeous or they think you really messed up somehow. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2013, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/5 "2013-02-13T23:44:28Z")
> [@jools](#): > > We were talking about it at lunchtime today. What is the first thing that pops in your mind when in a public place someone blatantly stares at you? and what would you like to do or do? Jump up and down and make gibbering monkey sounds. Unless it’s hot wimmin, in which case I also wave a sheet of paper with my phone number at them. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/6 "2013-02-14T00:01:26Z")
It happens fairly often, and it’s always a man. Generally, I think he’s got a thing for redheads. If he’s attractive or otherwise seems appealing, I might smile. Otherwise, I shrug it off and go on with my day. ---
**Author:** ![pchaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/258eb7/32.png) [@pchaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pchaos)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/7 "2013-02-14T00:03:42Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > It happens fairly often, and it’s always a man. Generally, I think he’s got a thing for redheads. If he’s attractive or otherwise seems appealing, I might smile. Otherwise, I shrug it off and go on with my day. If it’s a hot lady…I just figure she’s use to the stares. I seldom stare at people just because they messed up. ---
**Author:** ![Marconi\_N.Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Marconi\_N.Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marconi_N.Cheese)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/8 "2013-02-14T01:41:42Z")
I tell them “Take a picture, it’ll last longer”, then I stick my tongue out at them and go “nyanyanya”. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/9 "2013-02-14T01:44:58Z")
If someone is staring at me I guess they must be thinking, “Who is that drop dead gorgeous fellow and how do I get into his pants?” …what? That’s not what people are thinking when they stare at me? Hmph. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/10 "2013-02-14T01:47:47Z")
‘They’re staring blankly in this general direction.’ As somebody who’s been threatened for ‘staring’ at somebody in exactly that situation, this seems the least likely assumption to start shit. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/11 "2013-02-14T01:58:38Z")
That you have big boobs. ---
**Author:** ![Altivu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a8b319/32.png) [@Altivu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Altivu)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/12 "2013-02-14T03:01:47Z")
“They’re probably thinking ‘Why is that guy wearing sunglasses indoors?’” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/13 "2013-02-14T03:14:50Z")
People are always staring at my partner, and it bothers me, not him. He’s very striking-looking, in addition to being very tall. He tends to command attention. Actually, I’m no longer bothered by the stares, it’s the passing comments that get to me . . . like the people who start coming on to him (they don’t know I’m his partner) or worse: making derogatory comments about his height (or his length ;)). But he has taught me not to get too upset about it, and not to be so protective of him. I’m still learning. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/14 "2013-02-14T05:44:48Z")
> [@Canadjun](#): > > They’re being an asshole This. Usually, I meet stares with stares of my own. This usually works. Or, if it’s kids, I get the urge to lunge at them and scream “BOO!” :eek::eek: I mean, I understand the innocent curiosity of children but it can get ridiculous. Some of the fuckin’ kids just stand there, staring slack-jawed as if they are witnessing an alien invasion. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/15 "2013-02-14T05:50:51Z")
I stare back. They stop. Unless they are babies, in which case they eventually win. Tenacious little buggers. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/16 "2013-02-14T07:46:59Z")
> [@jools](#): > > We were talking about it at lunchtime today. What is the first thing that pops in your mind when in a public place someone blatantly stares at you? and what would you like to do or do? I tell them that we didn’t go to high school together. That’s almost always why someone is staring at me, and since I grew up in KY, I know someone in Chicago trying to place me is mistaken. It happens a LOT, though. Everyone went to high school with someone that looks a bit like me, apparently. Ironically, almost no one from my _actua_l high school ever recognizes me, as I’m 6" taller than when they last saw me, and I’ve filled out. So people in Chicago stare at me with that “isn’t that…?” look, while in KY they do the “Is that - nah!” look even though I recognize them. 🙂 [If I speak, though, I get nailed - I sound like James Earl Jones working as an easy listening dj (“Luke, that was Dave Brubek’s ‘Take 5’”).] ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/17 "2013-02-14T14:44:39Z")
It depends on who is staring at me. I get stared at a lot by Indians, because I don’t look very Indian, so they are trying to discern - am I? Personally, I hate it. I’m never sure what to do. Once they have decided, if they decide I am Indian, they then stare at my SO who is definitely not Indian. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/18 "2013-02-14T15:03:16Z")
Maybe they’re a Rosicrucian in training. (You have to read Poundstone’s \*Big Secrets \*take on AMORC to get this, I guess.) ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/19 "2013-02-14T15:08:01Z")
> [@Kamino\_Neko](#): > > ‘They’re staring blankly in this general direction.’ > > As somebody who’s been threatened for ‘staring’ at somebody in exactly that situation, this seems the least likely assumption to start shit. Exactly. Most of the time in a public place there isn’t going to be any direction you can face that won’t be in someone’s general direction, and contrary to a lot of people’s belief, you can’t really be sure you know what (or who) another person is looking at. [I thought someone was waving at me.](http://roflzone.com/everytime-i-thought-someone-is-waving-at-me-fml/) ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2013, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228/20 "2013-02-14T15:12:15Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > It happens fairly often, and it’s always a man. Generally, I think he’s got a thing for redheads. If he’s attractive or otherwise seems appealing, I might smile. Otherwise, I shrug it off and go on with my day. That’s likely me, and yes, I do have a thing for redheads… Too bad you only shrug and walk away though 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-stares-at-you/650228.md?page=2)