# when someone steals your money **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 3, 2016, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497 "2016-11-03T02:14:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JJcm711](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JJcm711](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JJcm711)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/1 "2016-11-03T02:14:17Z")
Hello all! I need your honest opinion. My family member stole money from me and I don’t like her because of it. I lost all respect for her when it happened and I cannot forget what has happened. It doesn’t bother me but it bothers my family. I doubt they would be any different IF they were In my shoes… I would like to know what you all think about this situation and what would you do. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/2 "2016-11-03T02:21:57Z")
Did the amount of money stolen from you adversely affect your life in any significant way? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/3 "2016-11-03T02:22:54Z")
Since the OP is looking for opinions, let’s move this to IMHO. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/4 "2016-11-03T02:40:48Z")
I don’t understand what the OP is saying. He lost all respect…but it doesn’t bother him, it bothers his family. Huh? How do you lose all respect…but aren’t bothered? Anyway, if someone stole money from me (in an appreciable amount) I’d lose respect for them too. That’s a perfectly valid reason for cutting off all relations with someone. If that happened to me, and I had proof, I’d hire a lawyer. Doesn’t matter if it’s my closest and most beloved sister. (If she asks, I’ll give her half of all I own. But if she steals it, I’ll sue her butt.) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/5 "2016-11-03T03:20:11Z")
Is the thief genuinely remorseful? Or is she a flake who’ll do it again to you or some other family member at her earliest opportunity? If the first, you sort of owe family a second bite. Forgive. But be alert for signs you’re being played for a fool. If she’s like the second, then cut her off now. And be willing to cut off those family members that side with her against you. But tell them you’ll welcome them back to your side as she steals from each of them in turn. Do you live with the thief? Do these other family members with strong opinions live with you or with the thief? Everything is easier if you don’t live under one roof. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/6 "2016-11-03T04:12:37Z")
What was the method of the theft? Did she climb in tghrough the window in the midle of the night and steal iout of your sock drawr? Or did you loan it to her under vague repayment terms and you’re miffed becasue now she can’t pay it back when you want it? Prf sp,ewhere n between. The intent of the thief and your responsibility to protect your belongings are relevant. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/7 "2016-11-03T04:50:41Z")
(Apologies for all the unedited typos above – they just took the tarp off the field so no chance to correct them.) ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/8 "2016-11-03T08:59:10Z")
What do you mean “do”? If the amount was immaterial, I wouldn’t go through the bother of hiring a lawyer or bringing in the authorities. But in any event, I hate thieves and would treat them accordingly. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/9 "2016-11-03T10:23:26Z")
I would key their car. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/10 "2016-11-03T11:20:17Z")
How much are we talking here? $10? $100? $1000? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/11 "2016-11-03T12:04:25Z")
How was the money stolen? _Did you search me Did you search me Did you turn me over Did you turn me over While I cold turkeyed While I cold turkeyed On the sofa On the sofa Did you steal my money Did you steal my money_ ---
**Author:** ![brainstall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@brainstall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brainstall)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/12 "2016-11-03T13:46:22Z")
Need more details. How much money and under what circumstances? Has she admitted the theft? Is she willing to pay it back? How is your family bothered by this? Are they telling you to forgive and forget? Are they concerned you will cause a scene at the next family gathering? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/13 "2016-11-03T13:49:38Z")
> [@snfaulkner](#): > > Did the amount of money stolen from you adversely affect your life in any significant way? > [@msmith537](#): > > What do you mean “do”? If the amount was immaterial, I wouldn’t go through the bother of hiring a lawyer or bringing in the authorities. But in any event, I hate thieves and would treat them accordingly. > [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > How much are we talking here? $10? $100? $1000? > [@brainstall](#): > > Need more details. How much money and under what circumstances? Has she admitted the theft? Is she willing to pay it back? > > How is your family bothered by this? Are they telling you to forgive and forget? Are they concerned you will cause a scene at the next family gathering? Joined yesterday, One post to start a thread and no futher action… Forget it man, it’s Chinatown. (unless further proof is offered by the OP). ---
**Author:** ![Me\_Billy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e480ec/32.png) [@Me\_Billy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Me_Billy)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/14 "2016-11-03T14:41:35Z")
I would report it to the police and press charges. If you don’t want to do that, then forgetaboutit! In either case, I would not have anything to do with this person in the future - let everyone else know what happened so they can protect themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/15 "2016-11-03T15:17:23Z")
> [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](#): > > Joined yesterday, One post to start a thread and no futher action… > > Forget it man, it’s Chinatown. (unless further proof is offered by the OP). I didn’t get any inkling that the OP was Chinese. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/16 "2016-11-03T17:15:08Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > I don’t understand what the OP is saying. He lost all respect…but it doesn’t bother him, it bothers his family. Huh? How do you lose all respect…but aren’t bothered? I think he means his family is disturbed by the rift, but he’s okay with just writing this person off. Money has been stolen within my family a couple of times, by different people. Both times the culprit was a teenaged male. And in both cases, some trust was lost that was never fully restored. ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/17 "2016-11-03T18:16:11Z")
Family is family. If the relative were in great need and had pressing reasons to take without asking I’d cut them a break, while telling them next time all they have to do is ask. Blood is thicker than water. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/18 "2016-11-03T18:25:34Z")
Family is just strangers that we sometimes have to deal with. And sometimes the healthiest thing to do is to separate yourself from these blood related strangers and move on without remorse. You now know all that you need to know about the person who stole from you. You do not have to forgive them anymore than you have to forgive some other stranger who stole from you. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/19 "2016-11-03T18:30:48Z")
> [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](#): > > Joined yesterday, One post to start a thread and no futher action… > > Forget it man, it’s Chinatown. (unless further proof is offered by the OP). Yeah. No info. > [@New Doper](#): > > Hello all! > I need your honest opinion. I have a problem. I would like to know what you all think about this situation and what would you do. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497/20 "2016-11-03T18:30:59Z")
She’s gone. Must have stolen the PC too. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-someone-steals-your-money/770497.md?page=2)