# When to Pee? (or RotK planning) No spoilers! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 17, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553 "2003-12-17T16:54:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/1 "2003-12-17T16:54:29Z")
The film is 3 1/2 hours. I always get the large diet coke when I watch a movie. In BOTH of the earlier, and shorter, films, I have been uncomfortable by the end. Checking my watch instead of checking out the film. I was planning a rush for the restroom when sappy love dialogue was on do I could enjoy the end (what can I say, peeing is important to me!) But my local paper’s review offers the following advice: Houston Chronicle. > [@](#): > > WHEN TO TAKE A BREAK: You’ll probably need one during the Return to the King, which clocks in at a marathon three hours and 20 minutes. A safe moment to leave the theater arrives midway when Gandalf and Pippen pause on a high terraceof Gondor to take stock of their situation. But don’t miss any of the last half. Action proceeds at a gallo and the film’s sustained finale is its strongest point. Quality journalism! ---
**Author:** ![as\_u\_wish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@as\_u\_wish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/as_u_wish)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/2 "2003-12-17T17:00:24Z")
Some earlier threads suggested that you take a restoom break any time Arwen shows up. My recommendation–skip the diet coke. Bring a bottle of water and sip if you must, or chew gum. _Now, look deeply into my eyes. You do not need to go to the restroom. Do not leave your seat. Try not even to breath. Focus. You can hold off until after the final credits. You do not need to go._ Seriously, try not to have to leave. I don’t think I saw one person leave the 11:57 pm showing last night. I wouldn’t want to miss a moment or to break the intensity with even a glimpse of porcelain. ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/3 "2003-12-17T17:04:46Z")
Given that if you go to the 11:57 show, you are more intense than us weekend warriors! If you have seen the flick, does this moment ring a bell. If so, could someone spoil the conversation in a spoiler box so I could print it out? I will read it only when I hit the restroom. (Try not to think about what I will be doing as I read your printed words!) ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/4 "2003-12-17T17:05:10Z")
I was in a virtually full theater, and I don’t think more than three people left during it. My advice – don’t go. Don’t get the soda, just get a small bottle of water or something, and stay in your seat. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/5 "2003-12-17T17:06:44Z")
Wear Depends? ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/6 "2003-12-17T17:07:01Z")
My advice: don’t drink anything for the hour leading up to the showtime, go to the bathroom before you go into the theater, and don’t buy anything while you’re there. That’s my plan, but I think I have a bladder the size of a pencil eraser. ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/7 "2003-12-17T17:12:32Z")
Sorry, folks. I have been successfully conditioned for 30 years by singing hotdogs and boxed candy playing stringed instruments. I must by concession fare. You’re words, while helpful, are not powerful enough to counter that! ---
**Author:** ![RogueRacer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ab992/32.png) [@RogueRacer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RogueRacer)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/8 "2003-12-17T17:12:32Z")
Yep. Skip the drink. If you must get up, I would recommend the Arwen scene as well, but be quick. ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/9 "2003-12-17T17:14:37Z")
I must “buy”. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/10 "2003-12-17T18:13:40Z")
> [@](#): > > _Houston Chronicle:_ Action proceeds at a gallo and the film’s sustained finale is its strongest point. Well, _of course_ you’re going to need to pee if you’re drinking crappy wine out of a box. ---
**Author:** ![Mellon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e19adc/32.png) [@Mellon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellon)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/11 "2003-12-17T18:24:39Z")
WTF? People plan to go to the toilet in the middle of the movie? I can accept that sometimes you have to go, but to actually plan to do it? _shakes head in disbelief_ Not only are you missing part of the movie, but it’s insanely impolite to the rest of the audience. Nothing takes you out of a movie than someone climbing over your legs to get out. Either hold it for the duration or wait for the DVD. There may also be the possibility of finding a theater that stops the movie for 10-15 minutes in the middle. I know the theater in my hometown does this for some long movies (which is one of the many reasons that I refuse to go there). ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/12 "2003-12-17T18:35:52Z")
Well, you can always just use [one of these](http://www.qualitymedicalsupplies.com/page/QMS/CTGY/51-ML). Just run a hose down your pants and you can even use the same cup the soda came in! ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/13 "2003-12-17T19:44:06Z")
Skip the concessions. Seriously. The bathroom break type moments come too early in the film (and you really don’t want to miss them anyway). Once the film kicks into high gear, you will not want to move. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/14 "2003-12-17T20:35:53Z")
I was gonna recommend a catheter, but **bughunter** beat me to it. I seem to recall you can get a similar apparatus for sports-related events, so you can stand in line for Superbowl tickets for hours and hours. ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/15 "2003-12-17T20:55:12Z")
If you must, (you heathen philistine etc. etc., reproof, chastisement, insults, and significantly stormy glare, as well as generic disclaimer) then sit by the aisle. I don’t care if you go ruining your own movie experience, but you damn well better not ruin mine. Now that that’s out of the way, the Arwen scenes are pretty much skippable, unless you’re really attached to that character. If you take fast breaks, wait until you see a hobbit risk scorching the hair off his feet while two humans take a lunch break. If anyone asks, you missed the Telegram scene. The reply takes a while; it’s doubtful you’ll miss it, and if you do, you’ll be able to infer its content. If you can wait until you see two supine bodies on a rock island in a river of lava, then wait another minute. When the bodies are gone, you are safe to take a break. If anyone asks, you missed the scene right out of _The Wizard of Oz_. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/16 "2003-12-17T22:10:03Z")
Any time during the first one and a half hours will work. ---
**Author:** ![ataraxy22](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ataraxy22/32/307_2.png) [@ataraxy22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ataraxy22)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/17 "2003-12-17T22:30:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mellon \* > \*\*WTF? People plan to go to the toilet in the middle of the movie? I can accept that sometimes you have to go, but to actually plan to do it? _shakes head in disbelief_ > > Not only are you missing part of the movie, but it’s insanely impolite to the rest of the audience. Nothing takes you out of a movie than someone climbing over your legs to get out. Either hold it for the duration or wait for the DVD. > > \*\* Well guess what? Not everyone can sit through that long a period of time without peeing (at least not without becoming INSANELY uncomfortable). Maybe you have a bladder the size of a Mellon, but not everyone does. Not me for sure. Unless I half-dehydrate myself, having to pee (and badly) a couple hours into a long movie is a high probability. ---
**Author:** ![Mellon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e19adc/32.png) [@Mellon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellon)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2003, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/18 "2003-12-17T22:48:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ataraxy22 \* > **Well guess what? Not everyone can sit through that long a period of time without peeing (at least not without becoming INSANELY uncomfortable).** Of course I understand that some of us need to pee more often than others. However, if there was a movie, in particularly one with such a high tempo as The Return of the King, which was too long for me to realistically endure (making it somewhere between 8 and 10 hours long) I would wait for the DVD. Partly because leaving for a minute or two ruins my experience and I miss a part of the movie, partly because I would not intetionally risk ruining someone else’s experience by going to the toilet. ---
**Author:** ![rexnervous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@rexnervous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rexnervous)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/19 "2003-12-18T00:13:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ataraxy22 \* > \*\*Well guess what? Not everyone can sit through that long a period of time without peeing (at least not without becoming INSANELY uncomfortable). Maybe you have a bladder the size of a Mellon, but not everyone does. Not me for sure. Unless I half-dehydrate myself, having to pee (and badly) a couple hours into a long movie is a high probability. \*\* so sit in the aisle seat, if you can. My wife has the same issue - drives me crazy, when we arrive early to a movie for prime center seating, but we sit very near the aisle - but I understand where she’s coming from, and she doesn’t want to have to crawl over people in the middle of the movie. ---
**Author:** ![Delly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85f322/32.png) [@Delly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delly)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553/20 "2003-12-18T02:52:52Z")
Take it you dont have an intermission then? We had one, and just as well too, I made sure not to drink anything up to an hour before we went out and still really had to go by the time we got an hour in, never would have sat there til the end otherwise… As for when to take a break… well you could take one during any of the battles, but youd probably miss a really cool scene [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-to-pee-or-rotk-planning-no-spoilers/219553.md?page=2)