# When two gay men (or ladies) go on a date who pays?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-two-gay-men-or-ladies-go-on-a-date-who-pays/167424>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [April 8, 2003, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-two-gay-men-or-ladies-go-on-a-date-who-pays/167424 "2003-04-08T22:53:26Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\
**Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-two-gay-men-or-ladies-go-on-a-date-who-pays/167424/21 "2003-04-10T01:38:15Z")

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Whoever feels like paying, pays. Or else we take separate cheques. That’s what usually happens, actually.

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**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\
**Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-two-gay-men-or-ladies-go-on-a-date-who-pays/167424/22 "2003-04-10T15:56:42Z")

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Typically the asker pays when I go out. If it is a continuing date thing, the asker pays the first time and subsequent dates we take turns. If one person is broke and the other isn’t then the one who has money pays and the turn taking resumes on subsequent dates.

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**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\
**Post date:** [April 10, 2003, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-two-gay-men-or-ladies-go-on-a-date-who-pays/167424/23 "2003-04-10T16:27:19Z")

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I never pay, but then again, I never do the asking.

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**Author:** ![atl0707](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de0a6/32.png) [@atl0707](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/atl0707)\
**Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-two-gay-men-or-ladies-go-on-a-date-who-pays/167424/24 "2015-02-15T03:01:14Z")

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I generally pay, because I prefer to appear generous from the git-go. Nothing spells trouble more than a stingy man who counts his pennies on the first date.

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**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\
**Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-two-gay-men-or-ladies-go-on-a-date-who-pays/167424/25 "2015-02-15T04:36:57Z")

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For me the norm is Dutch. With some guys it’s been ever other. In my younger days I’d hook up with a lot of older guys on the condition they paid for dinner.

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