# When Waitresses Attack **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 18, 2003, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992 "2003-08-18T16:39:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Elemenopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b5e925/32.png) [@Elemenopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elemenopy)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/21 "2003-08-18T19:04:38Z")
Unbelievable rudeness on the part of the waitress. I’ve been a waitress. Usually I gave exemplary service, but sometimes we’d be short a waitress (always the really busy nights, of course), and my service was average. There were plenty of nights that I didn’t get a tip on one of the tables. There were also plenty of times where I got a tip that was equal to 50% of the bill or more. It all averages out. You know what? It never would have occured to me to run out after a leaving customer, even if I didn’t think it was rude. Why? Because I had **other** customers that I needed to take care of. I didn’t have time to go running after people who forgot to tip, unless I wanted to ensure myself a lousy tip on my other 7 tables. > [@](#): > > Maybe instead of a few bucks we should have given her some even more valuable advice “Don’t chase patrons down and hound them for a tip after they’ve left your restaurant. It doesn’t encourage repeat business.” Ass. Exactly. Were I the owner of the restaurant, I’d be mortified, offer an apology to the customer, and reprimand the waitress in question. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/22 "2003-08-18T19:04:51Z")
A tip is the not an unpaid bill. It is, no matter how customary, voluntary. ---
**Author:** ![furlibusea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@furlibusea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furlibusea)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/23 "2003-08-18T19:07:18Z")
> [@](#): > > - orriginally posted by **vibrotronica** \*So I assume that all of the people who think the waitress was in the wrong in this situation also believe that a business sending unpaid bills to a collection agency is equally wrong, eh? erm. No. where did you find that much staw? ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/24 "2003-08-18T19:12:12Z")
I waited tables for a long time I couldn’t imagine chasing down customers for a tip, although I have seen it done. I’ve been stiffed before, as I’m sure anyone who’s waited tables for any significant amount of time has, and yes, it sucks. Big time. But that’s no excuse to make a fool out of yourself by chasing down a table. That’s just tacky. I’m with **binarydrone** though on the disbelief of “forgetting” to tip. Unless you’re from another country, I just have a hard time buying that excuse. Tipping is very ingrained in our culture, unless you NEVER go out, I just have a very hard time believing you “forget” to tip. I think you _choose_ to “forget”. ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/25 "2003-08-18T19:19:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mhendo \* > When i was a waiter in Canada i got stiffed a couple of times, and i never ran after a customer. But i always haad a certain amount of respect for the waiters who did, because the ones who did were generally those who **gave excellent service and gave no cause for dissatisfaction.** They tended to use the strategy, pointed out by auntie 'em, of **inquiring as to whether there was anything wrong with the service. When the people said “no,” the waiter would then say "Oh, i’m sorry, i assumed that there must have been a problem because you neglected to leave a tip."** The bolded statements contradict each other. This practice is just plain rude and a potential public embarrassment to the customer. > [@](#): > > Originally posted by vibrotronica \* > So I assume that all of the people who think the waitress was in the wrong in this situation also believe that a business sending unpaid bills to a collection agency is equally wrong, eh? Uh, yeah, because right before the OP left the restaurant, the waitress handed him a bill for her serving duties, which the OP prompty crumpled up and threw in the trash. Can you really not understand the difference between an optional gratuity and a required bill? ---
**Author:** ![krisolov](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/krisolov/32/3724_2.png) [@krisolov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/krisolov)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/26 "2003-08-18T19:37:54Z")
FTR, I was mortified. The group had pooled their money, tip included by each person, and gave it to one person (not me) to settle the bill. I had no idea anything was amiss until we were tracked down like the no-tip -leaving thugs we were. Were we busy talking about work stuff? Yep. Is that an excuse for forgetting something as simple as a tip? Nope. I have no explanation for that. No excuse whatsoever. We all know how tipping is supposed to work. But I think chasing someone down for a tip is wrong too. ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/27 "2003-08-18T19:38:28Z")
Lezlers, who fucking cares whether his party purposely ‘forgot’ the tip or honestly ‘forgot’. Doesn’t matter. Crazy Waitress-lady should have stayed her ass indoors and worked instead of harassing them. Period. End of story. Stiffed? Tough, move on. You don’t do shit like chasing down a table when you get stiffed. I’ve never heard of anything so ludicrous. Vibrotronica-The bill was paid in full, where’s the “unpaid collections bill”? :rolleyes: I can’t beilive you’re really that **Stupid** , are ya? Sam ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/28 "2003-08-18T19:40:03Z")
> [@](#): > > This practice is just plain rude and a potential public embarrassment to the customer. Potentially embarrassing? Yes-- in the same way that asking “Excuse me, but do you realize there’s six feet of toilet-paper stuck to your shoe?” is potentially embarrassing. Overlooking the situation may spare the person momentary embarrassment, but the embarrassing state of affairs is less likely to persist if it’s pointed out. Rude? Hell no-- that’s bending-over-backwards polite. The customer is formally extended the benefit of doubt-- the waitperson approaches the situation with the assumption that _they_ may have been at fault. It would be rude to say “Next time stay home and eat tinned soup, you oblivious assholes,” although not quite as rude as stiffing your server, which has consequences which go well beyond momentary indignation. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/29 "2003-08-18T19:49:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mhendo \* > \*\*For the most part, those who didn’t tip were from other countries (Brits and Aussies were the worst offenders), but also Americans on holiday. Why is it that so many Americans seem to decide that tipping is unnecessary if you’re on vacation? \*\* Many Americans believe that tipping only happens in America, and to tip waitstaff in other countries is insulting to them. It may be a myth, but it is believed. ---
**Author:** ![Apricot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bcef8e/32.png) [@Apricot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apricot)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/30 "2003-08-18T19:49:40Z")
OK, new information. Someone in your group stole the tip money, it seems to me. That’s happened to me once before. I left $12 for a $10 bill on the table. Another person at the table reached over, at the last second, and grabbed out $2 after leaving exactly $15 for their $15 bill (numbers rounded). I’ve never felt the same about them since, as I now know they are thieves. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/31 "2003-08-18T19:51:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by krisolov \* > \*\*FTR, I was mortified. The group had pooled their money, tip included by each person, and gave it to one person (not me) to settle the bill. . \*\* really? are you then claiming that each one of you put in sufficient money for your tab + tip, gave it to your boss who **then** pocketed her tip money? and that you didn’t notice? not buying that for a second. If all of you put in enough + tip, then there would have been tab +tip left. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/32 "2003-08-18T20:05:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vibrotronica \* > \*\*So I assume that all of the people who think the waitress was in the wrong in this situation also believe that a business sending unpaid bills to a collection agency is equally wrong, eh? \*\* A more apt analogy would be if, say, your sister sicced a collection agency on you to collect the $156.81 she spent on a new chafing dish, which she asked you to buy her for her birthday, and you meant to, but you forgot. Are you a schmuck for forgetting your sister’s birthday (after all she’s done for you, especially the Magenta Mohair Sweater Incident)? Yes. Are you legally obligated to give her a gift? No. See the difference? ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/33 "2003-08-18T20:08:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Larry Mudd \* > \*\*Potentially embarrassing? Yes-- in the same way that asking “Excuse me, but do you realize there’s six feet of toilet-paper stuck to your shoe?” is potentially embarrassing. Overlooking the situation may spare the person momentary embarrassment, but the embarrassing state of affairs is less likely to persist if it’s pointed out. How is anything likely to persist if it’s an honest, one-time, mistake? > [@](#): > > Rude? Hell no-- that’s bending-over-backwards polite. You must have a different definition of polite than I do, because mine does not involve running people down outside of a restaurant and asking them for payment that wasn’t even required in the first place. > [@](#): > > The customer is formally extended the benefit of doubt-- the waitperson approaches the situation with the assumption that _they_ may have been at fault. That strategy will be seen for what it is by customers - a transparent attempt to weasel a tip out of someone. > [@](#): > > It would be rude to say “Next time stay home and eat tinned soup, you oblivious assholes,” although not quite as rude as stiffing your server, which has consequences which go well beyond momentary indignation. The OP’s rudeness was accidental. The server’s rudeness was intentional and ended up driving away business. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/34 "2003-08-18T20:08:50Z")
Sheesh, **wring**. Lighten up. It’s entirely possible the boss made a mistake when calculating the cost of the food plus the tip … especially if he/she was still talking with co-workers about work. There’s money left over? Huh. I must’ve pulled a twenty out of my wallet instead of a ten. Sometimes people do make mistakes, you know. The entire world isn’t out to screw over servers. ---
**Author:** ![krisolov](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/krisolov/32/3724_2.png) [@krisolov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/krisolov)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/35 "2003-08-18T20:14:21Z")
We gave her the $ ($10 for the meal plus $2 tip) , she paid with a large bill, I think. I lost track after putting in my contribution. Could she have been scamming the tips? I guess it’s a possibility. I hadn’t even considered that. It’s unlikely from what I know of her. But not out of the realm of consideration. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/36 "2003-08-18T20:16:54Z")
I don’t buy that for a second. You **KNOW** how much money you’re putting on the table - unless you want us to believe the guy can’t count money. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/37 "2003-08-18T20:21:49Z")
10$ each, ‘she paid w/a large bill’, 5 people - sounds like she dropped a 50 on the table. yea, I can see why some one wouldn’t realize that $50 for a $50 tab didn’t include the tip. and why others there wouldn’t realize that no tip was left (one bill for a $50 tab) **and** why the server would be concerned - getting stiffed on a $50 tab will screw up your paycheck pretty well. ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/38 "2003-08-18T20:22:59Z")
Wring, like Sauron said, lighten up. And like I said earlier **It doesn’t matter whether it was intentional or not**. A tip is a VOLUNTARY ACT. Even if she was the worst waitress in the world and he decided to stiff her, she still would **not** be justified in **panhandling** them for her tip 3 blocks away! Begging for a tip, especially by saying that the “bill isn’t right” repeatedly in broken english is misleading, for one and rude to the n[sup]th[/sup] degree. Since a tip is voluntary and the bill was paid in full, the server **was less than truthful** about why she needed to chase them down for more money. She lied. Sam ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/39 "2003-08-18T20:29:04Z")
No, she didn’t lie. asking for the tip may not be standard behavior, but it sure as hell isn’t ‘panhandling’ either. lighten up indeed. 5 people didn’t notice a $50 tab was paid for w/a single bill and **NOT** realize that they were stiffing the server? Don’t buy it for a second. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992/40 "2003-08-18T20:31:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GaWd \* > \*\*Lezlers, who fucking cares whether his party purposely ‘forgot’ the tip or honestly ‘forgot’. Doesn’t matter. Crazy Waitress-lady should have stayed her ass indoors and worked instead of harassing them. Period. End of story. > > Stiffed? Tough, move on. You don’t do shit like chasing down a table when you get stiffed. I’ve never heard of anything so ludicrous. > > Vibrotronica-The bill was paid in full, where’s the “unpaid collections bill”? :rolleyes: I can’t beilive you’re really that **Stupid** , are ya? > > Sam \*\* Why don’t you calm the **fuck** down **Gawd**. Shit. If you’d read the first part of my post you’d see that I said there’s no excuse for a waitress running after a tip. Try reading the whole post before going off half cocked. :wally [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-waitresses-attack/195992.md?page=3)