# When/why do we go from "Don't talk to strangers" to invading personal spaceof strange **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 29, 2008, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652 "2008-02-29T17:16:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Squarebubble1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Squarebubble1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squarebubble1)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/1 "2008-02-29T17:16:28Z")
Seems to me when I was a kid, I was bombarded by “Don’t talk to strangers”, Don’t get any closer to a stranger than arm’s length", etc. Now, it seems like people routinely do the following: sit next to you in an otherwise uncrowded place; make physical contact to ask questions; get right in your face to ask for money, cigarettes,etc.; stand close enough behind me so that I can feel their breath on my neck; etc. Does anyone have any ideas why? (The only sarcastic response I got was “personal space isn’t politically correct”. ) ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/2 "2008-02-29T17:50:32Z")
Really? It seems like now, the “don’t talk to strangers” mentality has been escalated by an order of magnitude; that many people are potentially dangerous unless proven otherwise. Consider the sharp rise in “stranger danger” over the past year, where single men are by default considered threats to children and women; they’re seen as potential child molesters and rapists. ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/3 "2008-02-29T19:19:42Z")
Well, for starters, when you’re an adult, it’s pretty rare that a stranger will pick you up in his arms and carry you away. I do value my personal space, and so if I’m by myself in public, I usually appear busy unless I’m in a mood to chat. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/4 "2008-02-29T19:28:07Z")
[QUOTE=elmwood] Really? It seems like now, the “don’t talk to strangers” mentality has been escalated by an order of magnitude; that many people are potentially dangerous unless proven otherwise. Consider the sharp rise in “stranger danger” over the past year, where single men are by default considered threats to children and women; they’re seen as potential child molesters and rapists. [/QUOTE] Same here. My impression was that people were getting more likely to keep to themselves than before. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/5 "2008-02-29T21:37:53Z")
Obviously, the OP is getting sexier as s/he gets older, hence all of the touchy-feely strangers. The rest of us normals don’t have to deal with that kind of crap. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2008, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/6 "2008-02-29T22:41:14Z")
[QUOTE=ZipperJJ] Obviously, the OP is getting sexier as s/he gets older, hence all of the touchy-feely strangers. The rest of us normals don’t have to deal with that kind of crap. [/QUOTE] I’m actually guessing you’re right. A physical description of the OP’s normal daily appearance would be really helpful right now. ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2008, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/7 "2008-03-01T00:03:54Z")
I tried to approach the OP last night, expecting to merely being pepper sprayed as usual. But she’s been working out and proceeded to kick my ass. I’ll avoid good looking strangers foe at least a week now. ---
**Author:** ![Squarebubble1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Squarebubble1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squarebubble1)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2008, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/8 "2008-03-03T21:14:56Z")
[QUOTE=Si Amigo] I tried to approach the OP last night, expecting to merely being pepper sprayed as usual. But she’s been working out and proceeded to kick my ass. I’ll avoid good looking strangers foe at least a week now. [/QUOTE] Sorry guys, I’m male and straight (two ex-wives and kids to prove it)…Maybe I live in an area where there’s a large underground homosexual population… ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2008, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/9 "2008-03-03T21:45:21Z")
Des Moines, Iowa, for example. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2008, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/10 "2008-03-03T21:58:25Z")
[QUOTE=Squarebubble1] Sorry guys, I’m male and straight (two ex-wives and kids to prove it)…Maybe I live in an area where there’s a large underground homosexual population… [/QUOTE] Perhaps you’ve changed body sprays? ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2008, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/11 "2008-03-03T22:28:41Z")
[QUOTE=Ludovic] Des Moines, Iowa, for example. [/QUOTE] Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart. You can’t build on it; you can’t grow anything in it. The government says it’s due to poor farming. But I know what’s really going on, Stuart. I know it’s the queers. They’re in it with the aliens. They’re building landing strips for gay Martians, I swear to God. Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick. Everybody knows the burrow owl lives. In a hole. In the ground. Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Squarebubble1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Squarebubble1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squarebubble1)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2008, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/12 "2008-03-04T17:29:40Z")
[QUOTE=elmwood] Really? It seems like now, the “don’t talk to strangers” mentality has been escalated by an order of magnitude; that many people are potentially dangerous unless proven otherwise. Consider the sharp rise in “stranger danger” over the past year, where single men are by default considered threats to children and women; they’re seen as potential child molesters and rapists. [/QUOTE] One would think that this would hold true for rational people; in my area, most people seem to be throwbacks of the “touchy/feely/no strangers, just friends we’ve not met yet” school of thought… ---
**Author:** ![Squarebubble1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Squarebubble1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squarebubble1)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2008, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/13 "2008-03-04T17:31:37Z")
Can we get back on the OP, folks? ---
**Author:** ![Squarebubble1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Squarebubble1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squarebubble1)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2008, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/14 "2008-03-04T17:32:46Z")
[QUOTE=Mr. Slant] Perhaps you’ve changed body sprays? [/QUOTE] You don’t get out much, do ya? Rubber and glue. ---
**Author:** ![Squarebubble1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Squarebubble1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squarebubble1)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2008, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/15 "2008-03-04T17:37:17Z")
[QUOTE=Jman] Well, for starters, when you’re an adult, it’s pretty rare that a stranger will pick you up in his arms and carry you away. I do value my personal space, and so if I’m by myself in public, I usually appear busy unless I’m in a mood to chat. [/QUOTE] Tried the “f off” tactics (looking away, ignoring people, etc.) - if anything, they get more encouraged to bother me…a stranger could also be carrying concealed weapons, so maybe they can’t pick you up, but they could still go off on you. (Yes, I do live in a relatively high-crime area; my paranoia is shared by others forced to live here.) ---
**Author:** ![Squarebubble1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Squarebubble1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squarebubble1)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2008, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/16 "2008-03-04T17:39:00Z")
[QUOTE=ZipperJJ] Obviously, the OP is getting sexier as s/he gets older, hence all of the touchy-feely strangers. The rest of us normals don’t have to deal with that kind of crap. [/QUOTE] My psychology professor said on our first day that NOBODY is “normal” - try again, sparky ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2008, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/17 "2008-03-04T22:40:11Z")
What, exactly, did you mean mean by rubber and glue? Please don’t call ZipperJJ sparky. Regarding your original inquiry, did these changes in the behavior of strangers happen to coincide with you moving to a bad neighborhood or your previously good neighborhood going downhill? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2008, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/18 "2008-03-05T02:51:14Z")
[QUOTE=Squarebubble1] My psychology professor said on our first day that NOBODY is “normal” - try again, sparky [/QUOTE] **Moderator Warning** Insulting other posters is against the rules in GQ. Do not do this again. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2008, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/19 "2008-03-05T02:52:01Z")
Since I do not see a real factual answer to this question, I am moving it to IMHO. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2008, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652/20 "2008-03-05T03:07:37Z")
[QUOTE=Squarebubble1] My psychology professor said on our first day that NOBODY is “normal” - try again, sparky [/QUOTE] Oh sorry, I meant “us uglies,” champ. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-why-do-we-go-from-dont-talk-to-strangers-to-invading-personal-spaceof-strange/439652.md?page=2)