# When you grew up, was talking smack about a guy's mom asking for a punch in the schnozz? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 8, 2014, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792 "2014-10-08T19:36:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2014, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/21 "2014-10-09T18:40:23Z")
I was born in Baltimore in 1954 in a blue collar neighborhood. Obvious joke insults in the “your mother wears army boots” vein were responded to verbally and jokingly. A sincere insult to one’s mother was an invitation to fight or admit that you were a sissy. Fights were pretty common before the age of 16, afterward they were much rarer. When I was 13 to 14, it seems like I witnessed a fist fight at least once a week. These were usually provoked via insults, not usually mother insults, but sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2014, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/22 "2014-10-09T19:21:28Z")
Oh, yeah! In my neighborhood, if you insulted an Italian guy’s Mom, he’d fight you on the spot. It was different if the guy doing the insulting was one of your best buddies- THEN, a little jocular trash talk about Mom was par for the course. In my neighborhood, “Hey, fag” was a standard greeting for your best friend. And a standard retort to “Whatcha been up to” was, “Nothing much, just banging your mother.” But if it WASN’T your best friend, you never said ANYTHING about somebody’s mom unless you WANTED a butt kicking. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2014, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/23 "2014-10-09T19:28:39Z")
I’d have to say “yes” though I’m not really sure how serious it was. I mean, people who wanted to fight found excuses to fight and people who didn’t want to fight didn’t. The fact that some people would fight over insults to their mother just looked to me like an excuse to fight. I grew up in California, during the 70s and 80s. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2014, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/24 "2014-10-09T19:30:26Z")
Me: Half Asian, early 40s, grew up in extremely ethnically mixed, middle-class Maryland. I would echo those here who say that “doin’ the dozens” humorously with friends, or even somewhat adversarial schoolmates, would not be prelude to a fight. As far as a stranger, or just a dead serious insult to someone’s mother…I don’t even know. I guess it would be fighting words, but it would be hard to picture happening. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2014, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/25 "2014-10-09T19:33:36Z")
Grew up in suburban Maryland in the 70s. We really didn’t have any fights. Insults were for fun, and nothing got out of hand. Mothers were generally left out of it, but even if happened, no one would actually start a physical altercation over it. Something like, “wow, that’s harsh” would be the end of it. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2014, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/26 "2014-10-09T20:26:59Z")
Can’t speak for the boys, but in a certain sub-set of the girls in my Jr High insulting somebody’s mother was definitely going to lead to a fight. Early 70s, MD suburbs. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2014, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/27 "2014-10-09T20:46:14Z")
It never came up for us. There were certain common insults to make it clear you were ready to fight, But I can’t remember anybody talking about family. We made Yo mamma jokes all the time, and I think it passed completely to joke status. It never crossed my mind to say it for a real insult, and if someone had called me out with something like that my reaction would have been somewhere between confusion and amusement, it wouldn’t have geared me up for fighting. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2014, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/28 "2014-10-09T21:43:04Z")
I remember an episode of **Welcome Back Kotter** where they compared insults from Kotter’s time as a sweat hog, and the current students. They made the observation the shift from insulting the family to insulting the individual. I fall on the individual side of history. '70s Cal. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/29 "2014-10-10T04:37:09Z")
1943, cac, OK No body was ever that dumb around me. All that stupidity started after I had left home and was in the military. No body was that stupid there either. If my son ever did it, I never heard him. I wonder if any of you remember anyone doing it to somebody in front of that persons parents and knew the parents were there? And they lived? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/30 "2014-10-10T05:09:37Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > _During the time of your childhood and teen years, in the place where you grew up, would impugning the character of a boy’s mother in his presence be understood as at least a challenge to engage in violence, if not an deliberate provocation to do so, by your peers?_ > > I wrote “boy” on purpose, by the way, because in my culture girls were not expected to be violent in the ways boys were thought likely to be. But I’m not trying to discourage anyone–male, female, white, black, even Etruscan–from answering Actual violence is generally discouraged, but where and when I grew up, “mentioning someone’s mother” is indeed asking for a gamut of negative responses including rants, strings of insults, calling the person out or (for little children or people in bars) physical assault. Sex of the person whose mother is being mentioned is irrelevant. Born in Spain in '68. We still use _le mentó a la madre_ as shorthand for “(s)he insulted him/her in the worst possible way”, and actually doing it is still considered grounds for nuclear-level responses. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/31 "2014-10-10T12:11:52Z")
Yes. In the Cape Flats dialect of Afrikaans (and also, nowadays, in Afrikaans in general) “Jou ma se poes” (Your mother’s cunt) is the worst possible insult - the nuclear option. There’s no way to say it in jest, either, like to a mate - it really is just that bad. Automatic fighting words. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/32 "2014-10-10T12:19:33Z")
If said seriously it’d give the recipient a casus belli, should he chose. 90s in the Central Valley of California. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/33 "2014-10-10T14:02:50Z")
No, not when I grew up. In the 40s and 50s, moms were household furniture, always there and reliable. The only time kids ever talked about their moms was in the oft-used phrase “Naw, my ma won’t let me”, and that was taken as the final word on the subject. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/34 "2014-10-10T14:11:38Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > I remember an episode of **Welcome Back Kotter** where they compared insults from Kotter’s time as a sweat hog, and the current students. They made the observation the shift from insulting the family to insulting the individual. > > I fall on the individual side of history. '70s Cal. When Kotter first tried illustrating the point, he began a joke with “Your mother is so…” Barbarino immediately interrupted, “Not my mother! She is HOLY!” ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/35 "2014-10-10T14:23:13Z")
In the central Pennsylvania mining and farming community where I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s, such an insult did not absolutely guarantee a fight, but it did dramatically increase the odds that there would be one. Typically, the guys who said such a thing were looking for a fight, so the only question was whether the target felt up to giving them one. Saw one guy get blasted across the head with an aluminum and plexiglass t-square so hard I thought his skull was split for deploying that insult. OTOH, there were way more fights over insults to cars and girlfriends. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/36 "2014-10-10T14:22:51Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > _During the time of your childhood and teen years, in the place where you grew up, would impugning the character of a boy’s mother in his presence be understood as at least a challenge to engage in violence, if not an deliberate provocation to do so, by your peers?_ Absolutely. When I was a teen (France, late 70s), you had to start a fight if your mother was insulted, whether you cared or not. And yes, it was generally a deliberate provocation. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/37 "2014-10-10T14:30:39Z")
In Ontario, Canada, in the 1970s, I don’t ever recall any insults about mothers. It never came up at all as far as I can recall. And if someone did insult my mother I wouldn’t have had a clue how to respond. I assume I’d just laugh it off. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/38 "2014-10-10T14:35:39Z")
Yo momma-type stuff was fine, but actual insults about real characteristics of a person’s mother was opening the door for a fight. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/39 "2014-10-10T15:00:29Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Yo momma-type stuff was fine, but actual insults about real characteristics of a person’s mother was opening the door for a fight. What if the person’s mother _was_, in fact, so fat that her blood type was Nutella? ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2014, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792/40 "2014-10-10T16:07:06Z")
> [@OneCentStamp](#): > > What if the person’s mother _was_, in fact, so fat that her blood type was Nutella? Best one I heard was “Yo momma so fat, she free-bases ham.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-grew-up-was-talking-smack-about-a-guys-mom-asking-for-a-punch-in-the-schnozz/700792.md?page=3)