# When you have different amounts of "disposable income" - what's the right way to handle it
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-have-different-amounts-of-disposable-income-whats-the-right-way-to-handle-it/539592
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [May 16, 2010, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-have-different-amounts-of-disposable-income-whats-the-right-way-to-handle-it/539592 "2010-05-16T00:04:59Z")
**Posts on this page:** 4
**Page:** 4
### Author:  [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2010, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-have-different-amounts-of-disposable-income-whats-the-right-way-to-handle-it/539592/61 "2010-05-18T02:57:09Z")
> [@](#):
>
> BECAUSE I’M MORE INVOLVED IN HIM THAN HE IS IN ME. I mean, he cares about me, I know that; but not to the level I care about him. And that was/is the real problem.
Yep, I think that’s at least a major part of the problem, and it might be the whole problem. I’ve been in a relationship where I cared about him a lot more than he cared about me, and it HURTS when you figure that out.
If you can figure out a SOLUTION to such a relationship, let me know. I’m still wondering if there was something different that I could have done in that relationship, other than just breaking up with him.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2010, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-have-different-amounts-of-disposable-income-whats-the-right-way-to-handle-it/539592/62 "2010-05-18T02:59:35Z")
I think the only solution actually is breaking up; you can’t make someone love you more than they do.
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### Author:  [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)
#### Post date: [May 18, 2010, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-have-different-amounts-of-disposable-income-whats-the-right-way-to-handle-it/539592/63 "2010-05-18T03:44:43Z")
> [@DivineComedienne](#):
>
> You all helped me realize that this is about me, not him. I guess I’m not as OK with being “casual” as I thought I was. So I want to again thank you all very much for your very honest, helpful and informative responses.
And it’s nearly impossible to pull back once you’ve gone there emotionally. I’m sure you see all of the potential for a great relationship with him. It sounds like you get along and enjoy each other’s company and I"m sure he cares about you. But there does come a point in many relationships that at least one person wants to take it to the next level and have more of a commitment and combined life. It just stinks when both people don’t reach that point at the same time, or one never does.
I feel for you and I hope that you’re able to come to a place where you’re happy and satisfied- with him or with someone else or with yourself.
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### Author:  [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2010, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-have-different-amounts-of-disposable-income-whats-the-right-way-to-handle-it/539592/64 "2010-05-19T01:57:49Z")
> [@DivineComedienne](#):
>
> The thing I didn’t realize was that I would be willing to help him BECAUSE I’M MORE INVOLVED IN HIM THAN HE IS IN ME. I mean, he cares about me, I know that; but not to the level I care about him. And that was/is the real problem.
Wow…I’m impressed. You got it right, didn’t bury your head in the sand. At least you know the truth now - yeah it hurts, but it’s better than being in the dark. Maybe in time he’ll grow more committed. I wish you luck.
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