# When you live in Television..... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 6, 2010, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182 "2010-06-06T16:30:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/81 "2010-06-09T13:47:39Z")
People can eat any amount of food and stay slim, drink any amount of booze and stay sober, and booze and Vicodan it up and keep their livers. IRL, both Charlie Harper and House would be waiting for liver transplants. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/82 "2010-06-09T14:21:45Z")
The fine print is always printed with the same font as the label. I love it when an actor/actress picks up a bottle of something and the audience gets a look at it and the bottle says “ALCOHOL 33%” in the same font size as the label. I also like the fact no one seems to understand the concept of Central/Mountain time. TV shows always have characters in the Central/Mountain time zone watching late night news at 11pm or Johnny Carson at 11:30pm. (when he hosted on old shows). You’d think writers would know where their show is set and what time zone it’s in ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/83 "2010-06-09T15:38:10Z")
If you have a theme event, your costumes will not only be elaborate, but perfectly suited to your character. For example, a goth at a tropical-themed dance will have a black grass skirt and black lei just sitting in your closet. It’s the same for Halloween- everybody will have a gorgeous and elaborate costume and everyone will be dressed up. Nobody half-asses it. ---
**Author:** ![fiddlesticks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddlesticks/32/18129_2.png) [@fiddlesticks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fiddlesticks)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/84 "2010-06-09T15:52:29Z")
Shows set in a cold climate will only have snow during Christmas-themed episodes. If there is a follow-on New Year’s Eve-themed episode, the snow will have disappeared. ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/85 "2010-06-09T16:15:26Z")
If you’re a pregnant woman in anything other than a medical show, your chances are only 50-50 of giving birth in a hospital instead of a taxi/subway/stuck elevator/etc. Fortunately, there are never any complications during birth so whoever you’re stuck with will be able to handle things. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/86 "2010-06-09T16:23:07Z")
For the longest time, if you lived in Boston, you lived on Beacon Hill (because writers apparently don’t know Boston geography, and can’t afford a map). Banacek lived on Beacon Hill. So did Paul Sands in his show, and the entire cast of _Beacon Hill_. And Charles Emerson Winchester, of course\*. Things have gotten better, and with a slew of other shows – _St. Elsewhere_, _Boston Legal_, etc. – they’ve decided that Beacon Hill would be too crowded, or something, and people now live elsewhere. \*This one makes more sense than the others. I can believe an old, established, wealthy family having an old place on Louisville Square or something. Although there are lots of tony places in the surrounding communities where you could expect Charles’ family to be living. ---
**Author:** ![DWMarch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwmarch/32/1010_2.png) [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/87 "2010-06-09T22:48:05Z")
If you’re a lawyer on television, you can get any case, no matter how complicated resolved in 42 minutes or less. Your client, just arrested, gets his trial the next day. The jury is already there and does not have to be selected. You can ask the most inflammatory questions of any witness and your reprimand if any will be a stern admonishment from the judge to “dial it back counselor”. There is no such thing as contempt of court, allowing lawyers to practice an amazing array of courtroom theatrics, particularly bringing in witnesses at the last second or forcing confessions out of witnesses. There is no such thing as badgering a witness either, so you can spit questions at them rapid-fire until they trip up and resolve the case in your favor. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/88 "2010-06-10T03:22:43Z")
There are no toddlers. Children go directly from infancy to the age of four. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/89 "2010-06-10T04:11:06Z")
> [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](#): > > People sometimes go grocery shopping, but nobody ever puts \*away \*the groceries. They just leave the bag on the counter and move back to the storyline. And people in TV Land may carry dirty laundry in a basket, they may fold clean clothes, they may carry clean, folded clothes in a basket, but they never put them away. There are no preheats in TV Land; there is no waiting for a dish to bake/cook. And there is no unloading of the dishwasher, not even in commercials (which show the seamy side of TV life…). In beer commercials, they pour and pour, but they never drink. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/90 "2010-06-10T13:13:59Z")
One day your very bestest friend, whom has never been seen before or even mentioned, will show up, only to die very soon and neve be mentioned again. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/91 "2010-06-10T13:32:01Z")
In TV land nobody ever actually watches TV. Children are always absent whenever the adults get together with their friends. Well, sometimes they will come out and be cute for a minute then they go right back to bed. ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/92 "2010-06-10T16:38:39Z")
> [@42fish](#): > > If you’re a pregnant woman in anything other than a medical show, your chances are only 50-50 of giving birth in a hospital instead of a taxi/subway/stuck elevator/etc. Fortunately, there are never any complications during birth so whoever you’re stuck with will be able to handle things. On the other hand, if you’re pregnant and you ARE on a medical show, your chances are about 95% of having complications. And if you’re pregnant and in an ensemble cast, the entire cast will go to the hospital to see you and the baby and will probably be sitting in the waiting room when you give birth. This includes friends, enemies, and people you really never talk to. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/93 "2010-06-10T16:55:52Z")
You can afford a full-time housekeeper. Unfortunately, you’ll seldom catch her doing any actual housekeeping. Her primary duty is making wisecracks. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2010, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/94 "2010-06-10T20:47:47Z")
> [@shiftless](#): > > In TV land nobody ever actually watches TV. > > Children are always absent whenever the adults get together with their friends. Well, sometimes they will come out and be cute for a minute then they go right back to bed. Yes, in TV Land, _no_ children are bothersome, unless it’s relevant to the plot. Otherwise, they just sort of disappear. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![audit1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@audit1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/audit1)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/95 "2010-06-11T07:13:23Z")
In TV land, be it a bright sunny day or a cloudless moonlit night, the streets are always damp looking like it just rained. No matter, what kind or road, asphault or dirt, tires will aways screech as you stop. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/96 "2010-06-11T07:49:45Z")
Also in TV land if you find an orphaned urchin you can just take him in without any adoption proceedings and if he tries to steal your stereo you can just gently scold him and then teach him a song and dance number and presto! he’s reformed. (I swear I saw this on the aptly named Give Me a Break.) ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/97 "2010-06-11T08:08:08Z")
You have to repeat everything the person on the phone has just said. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/98 "2010-06-11T09:35:15Z")
Then hang up the phone without saying any kind of goodbye. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/99 "2010-06-11T10:02:45Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > You wrap a towel around yourself (waist level for guys, chest level for gals) before stepping out of the shower, even if you’re the only one at home. Apparently you also do it when getting out of bed to go pick up something the hotel manager just pushed below the door, after you and another international spy (by the way, are there national spies? regional spies?) have been having hot monkey sex and not letting the cleaning lady in for three days. I’m still wondering what were they supposed to have been eating, too. I’m reasonably sure bodily fluids aren’t \*that \*nutritious. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182/100 "2010-06-11T15:20:10Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > (by the way, are there national spies? regional spies?) Of course - in the UK MI5 does domestic espionage and counter-espionage, and MI6 works outside of the UK. Whilst you wouldn’t exactly call an FBI agent a spy, even though that’s what they are effectively, it’s analagous to the FBI and CIA in the US. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-live-in-television/542182.md?page=6)