# When you married, did you think about who would die first? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 7, 2014, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-married-did-you-think-about-who-would-die-first/678138 "2014-01-07T15:52:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tess\_Trueheart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@Tess\_Trueheart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tess_Trueheart)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-married-did-you-think-about-who-would-die-first/678138/21 "2014-01-07T22:41:37Z")
We were both 24 when we got married, but I’d already lost 3 of 4 biological grandparents by then and lost the last one a few months later. None of my 4 grandparents made it to 75 - two had multiple forms of cancer, a third had heart troubles young, the fourth was diabetic and generally in poor health for a long time. I’m extremely concerned about this, so while I’ll never smoke and I rarely drink, I’m working on my diet/fitness/mental health with a renewed focus so that I can live more years and enjoy them more. ---
**Author:** ![randompattern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@randompattern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/randompattern)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-married-did-you-think-about-who-would-die-first/678138/22 "2014-01-07T23:00:56Z")
After about 5 years married I didn’t care who went first as long as it was soon. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_Lenore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@Silence\_Lenore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_Lenore)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-married-did-you-think-about-who-would-die-first/678138/23 "2014-01-07T23:15:14Z")
We were very young when we got married (19 & 21) and didn’t think beyond the next week, so no. But, when I found out his grandfather & uncle died of heart attacks before age 50, and then when his Mom died at the age of 50 of heart disease, I sure did start thinking about it. Fast forward 33 years and he has had 2 heart attacks & a bypass and does not take as good care of himself as he should, so I still think about it. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-married-did-you-think-about-who-would-die-first/678138/24 "2014-01-07T23:25:58Z")
We didn’t discuss it at the time. But now that both of us are in our mid-60’s, he goes around saying “I’m dying, I’m going to die tomorrow, yes I am, I’m dying,” clearly not meant to be taken seriously (i.e. I don’t immediately dial 911 for an ambulance). I think it’s just whistling past the graveyard, and an expression of feeling a little less than perfect. I, on the other hand, am the quiet, stoic type. Since both our families are mixed bags for longevity, I hereby predict that I will go first, but not by much (barring accidents). Roddy ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-married-did-you-think-about-who-would-die-first/678138/25 "2014-01-07T23:31:05Z")
> [@randompattern](#): > > After about 5 years married I didn’t care who went first as long as it was soon. 🙂 … and now I’m prayin’ for the end of time, to hurry up and arive! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Dusty\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ba8739/32.png) [@Dusty\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dusty_Rose)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-married-did-you-think-about-who-would-die-first/678138/26 "2014-01-07T23:33:24Z")
> [@randompattern](#): > > After about 5 years married I didn’t care who went first as long as it was soon. 🙂 This made me laugh right out loud! The mister is 9 years older than me, and I think we both assumed he’d go first. However, I’m experiencing low level stress and anxiety almost continually now, so that makes me wonder - it must be hard on my body. Overall, though, I figure I’ll drop dead about 2 weeks after my term-life insurance expires. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-married-did-you-think-about-who-would-die-first/678138/27 "2014-01-07T23:45:34Z")
My ex wife would often sleep in the ‘death pose’, that which we see a corpse in a coffin. Need to find someone who sleeps in a fetal position which also more conducive to spooning. ---
**Author:** ![rochejagu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b9bd4f/32.png) [@rochejagu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rochejagu)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-married-did-you-think-about-who-would-die-first/678138/28 "2014-01-07T23:51:13Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > I’ve always assumed I would die first. I told her she isn’t allowed to get remarried. To put it in a polite way, you don’t own anybody. When you are gone what are you going to do. Your control dies with you my friend. ---
**Author:** ![Claverhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Claverhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claverhouse)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-married-did-you-think-about-who-would-die-first/678138/29 "2014-01-07T23:52:55Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > I always figured the one that made the best sacrifices to Cthulhu would die first. Which probably means my wife will, because I am terrible at finding good presents to give to people, and I guess that includes extradimensional horrors. Peasants are always perfectly acceptable. ---
**Author:** ![rochejagu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b9bd4f/32.png) [@rochejagu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rochejagu)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-married-did-you-think-about-who-would-die-first/678138/30 "2014-01-07T23:57:12Z")
The majority of people have their heads in the sand when it comes to delicate questions such as death. who is going to die first. I have everything sorted in my will & testament since 1992. It causes so much havoc and heartache if you leave it to the gods. ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2014, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-married-did-you-think-about-who-would-die-first/678138/31 "2014-01-08T00:29:04Z")
I did, but we didn’t talk about it. If he did, I don’t know. He is thirteen years older, but I was in poorer health so I figured it was a wash. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2014, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-married-did-you-think-about-who-would-die-first/678138/32 "2014-01-08T00:51:12Z")
> [@rochejagu](#): > > To put it in a polite way, you don’t own anybody. When you are gone what are you going to do. Your control dies with you my friend. I threatened to haunt her. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2014, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-married-did-you-think-about-who-would-die-first/678138/33 "2014-01-08T01:08:46Z")
No, we never thought about, at least I never did and she never said a word. I was 27 and she was under 26. Then a year after we were married I had a heart attack and after that I always assumed she would survive me. When we bought a house, I had her listed as the owner on that basis and I am sure she understood why. (Although I didn’t know that there is no inheritance tax between spouses in Canada.) If I live till March, we will celebrate our 50th. I still think I’ll go first. But not quite yet. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2014, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-married-did-you-think-about-who-would-die-first/678138/34 "2014-01-08T06:39:34Z")
Getting married in a few months. I’ve thought about it. Odds are I will. She’s a few years older than me, but she’s more athletic than I am and I there’s a history of heart disease in my family. We’re both in our 30s, though, so that’s a long way off. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/when-you-married-did-you-think-about-who-would-die-first/678138.md?page=1)